Gerri Gurl This, Mutha!

"Bent over sucking your boyfriend off is all good and fun. Lo and behold! What is this cold wet nose doing pressed against your asshole!?! The dog just wants to know if this is a friendly event and when that grilled cheese sandwich is due to be dropped off."

-Me

Well, I found porn mishaps to be especially funny at this time of year. Hopefully, you, too, can find joy of the canine variety when trying to find a parking spot has become a major bitch and a half.

What I love about this time of year is how even the most religious nut cannot see how insane she sounds when interviewed on TV about how she is going to spend less at this time of year due to the sluggish economy. Hark, I thought we were forced to celebrate Jeezus's birthday. Is it really more about getting things? Why do we feel forced to spend $500 on people after an evening at church?

The sad part of all this is how the local food pantries are having a hard time keeping up with the lines of people in need. Breaks yo' heart to turn away those that don't quite smell as good but try to stay away from the hard liquor before insisting they are a military veteran. It always weirds me out when the black churches allow their main pastors to be interviewed in the nicest suits. You'd think that they'd forget buying one just to be able to stock a few more jars of peanut butter but no............

Okay, so I'm a little irritable about the Holidays. It seems like I can never really get to enjoy them as I did when I was a kid. No worries back then. Just get out that ginger bread house and connect with frosting instead of wondering about how you're gonna get through another day of craziness at work. You just cannot avoid the number of things that come in and need to get out before Christmas. Carpets and tires are what make me want to shout at the ceiling when I know it's gonna be a long day at work because the little Mexican co-worker has decided to brag about his latest hickeys.

FYI: I have never known how people can date/fuck/sleep with different people each weekend. I've always been in relationships rather than a new wet pussy to explore. Hickeys are fun, though. I can give as good as I get. Just watch Sara hide them from her mom.

Our minor problem of leaves being brought into the house has been solved. With 3 little dogs that constantly walk in with leaves stuck to their hair, you'd think we have trees in here. It doesn't matter where those little shits go, the barest of places it can be, because there is another leaf stuck somewhere within all that hair. Thanks to the shop vac, leaves are all gone from the back yard's wooden deck.

I've got lots to talk about but have become too busy with other things on my mind this week. The remakes of The Karate Kid and The Last Dragon have me furious that they are going to ruin classics I grew up on that need no changes. Just how the hell do you do Sho'Nuff!?! It's impossible to imitate one of the greatest black heroes of all time. Malcom X being played by Denzel Washington is easy. Mean black guy in 3 portions of afro aint. Happy twats all around.