Just Don't Gulp 'Em

"It's cold days like this that my natural enemy bares her true self. When a boy like me has a girl that enjoys placing her icy hands down my pants to grab my balls just to hear me release a major amount of screams, it's just sheer will-power that I drive to Indiana so calm."

-Me

Found myself doing something I normally don't do, talking to a kid. It's true. Here I was in Barnes & Noble looking at the latest graphic novels only to get chatted up by a short chubby kid I'd still recognize with ease. A part of me wonders if the 2 Playboy issues in my hands caught his attention or just the sight of me scanning for anything new. The smart money is on his adolescent fantasies of hopefully one day seeing a woman naked without suffering from the burning itching sensation.

I saw a little bit of me in this kid. What I was curious about is what he thought of the new Wolverine: Origins trailer that made its debut on Youtube recently. Naturally, I was quite hyper about how I loved it. Some of my favorite characters will be making an appearance, characters that I know women will want to see. X-Men's Gambit has been getting the most buzz but, for me, it's Deadpool. Ryan Reynolds, ever since Blade 3, has got to be perfect for playing a comic book character. There are a few people that I wish I owned their bodies and Ryan is one of them.

Hence why I'm doing my best with the running thing lately.

It's just odd for me to actually talk to a kid. I hate them. It could be that I just see them as part of the ills in society these days. People are just dumber. Hardly anyone wants to learn. Go ahead, look at your cellphone instead of learning to add, subtract, or multiply. Care not for the feelings of others as you find yourself more in love with the amount of friends on your Myspace page.

Right now, I am reading 'The Harlequin,' an occult series book where Anita Blake is a vampire hunter out to help calm this world where zombies do happen. I can see why it's found a sect of readers, namely women and gay males. I only got into it by accident when I was looking for something that could take me away from my usual appetite in books, women with guns. In this case, Anita caries a gun but she also chops off some heads so it seems like a fetish for me.

What I found so amusing is that the character, Anita, has to live off of sex. Somewhere along the time I lost track of reading, she got herself into a mess where in order to live with all the animals within her (shape-shifting) she has to create the energy to substain all of them. In this case, it is sex. I dunno. It felt funny reading a page devoted to what it is like to be on your knees in a bathtub licking the water dripping from a guy's balls.

It must be fun to be forced to have sex with so many types of occult characters. Various shape-shifters have to take turns keeping our hero alive. Penises are presented. The girlfriends or wives of the males that must do this prefer it not be oral sex. Could you girls live with that? The fate of a large city depends on whether or not a woman has a magical orgasm with your dude. I know some girls that would be very, very upset if Anita swallowed so it just might be fact.

Of course, I have been hard at work using my mind to come up with my annual entry on the Year In Review. Good or bad? Piss me off? Who knows. I'm not quite done with these large paragraphs sitting around my head. I do know what some of the things are that got many mentions in this blog. This just might be the year I don't get as angry as I normally sound.

So, if your day has been rougher than you wished because you passed out in a very embarassing way, be glad the year is almost over. While you may need to be picked up off the potty, I had to chase my dogs down outside. Cold hard old turds make for great fudge-sicles, apparently. Happy twats all around.