Mothers

"Hell hath no fury like a son pissed off over a mother's mistake towards his girlfriend."

-Me

Well, that's a kind of a good quote but only if said mother actually understands the fucking damage she does when opening her fucking mouth.

Moms. Can't live with 'em. Can't understand why they still have no understanding over the concept of sharing.

Life just got more complicated. It looks like Circuit City, the second most well-known leading electronics seller, is going to completely fold. The reason why this is bad? Someone has to keep Best Buy honest. Trust me. Those boys are pretty damn sneaky on how they run things. Best Buy rips you off, here and there, by running as if its taken over Wal-Mart's ways. Don't get me wrong for I do like Best Buy. They're just sneaky......even if Circuit City was kind of a ghetto version of it where the parking lot was pretty much empty at all times.

Plus, our WaldenBooks is closing! Wow! That store has been open forever in this town so it'll feel odd with it being gone. It holds something special with me because I bought my first Playboy from there. The first time went great but then I was carded. Actually, let me tell you the story.......

A long time ago, I went to WaldenBooks for no reason other than to browse. Somehow, I just decided to pick up the newest issue of Playboy at the time. There was nothing else there that amused me so why not? The model, Stephanie Seymour, was on the cover and I was curious as to what kind of bush or no bush she had. Trust me. The slightest hint of pubic hair displayed to a 16-year-old causes mild convulsions in the crotch area, very pleasant, too. Lucky for me, the clerk let me go out the door with that issue of Playboy. My once shaky hands were now itching through the issue's pages in hopes of seeing the loveliness of Stephanie. Oh, was it worth it! There she was on a picnic table with a very obvious small snatch of hair between her legs.

Man, you don't know how fucking nervous I was to purchase an issue of Playboy from WaldenBooks. That day is forever etched in my memory banks of weird things that mean a lot to me. Hell, the guy that let me leave with it had glasses. This was years and years ago so it's obvious this memory means something.

Of course, me being me, I had to see if purchasing the next issue of Playboy would happen again. It's monthly, ya know. Sure, I had a subscription but sometimes the store got them ahead of me. Stephanie beckoned the call of nature now it was some girl in rollerblades. Nope. I had to honor the fact that I was turned down for being too young. 16 years of age just didn't allow this male's pupils to widen over the sight of personal hair now unwanted in this day of age. One of the worst rejections is to find you are just too young. I could be as ugly as a cat's butt. I could be as retarded as the high school kid that nearly bit me before boarding the short bus. I just couldn't purchase nudity because I was 2 years off.

Just to show my sadistic side, I do sometimes wish to hold the power of allowing nudie magazines to be purchased while working in a bookstore. I'd taunt and tease as I look up and down over someone that is obviously of age and ask for I.D. Or if it's a kid that is definitely younger than 18, I'd yell out for a price-check on Hustler or try to start up a conversation on the benefits of porn. The only thing is no bookstore sells Hustler. Plus, my own girlfriend would love to get into a long discussion on the power of porn.

My guess is that I'm the only one that's happy for Israel's fighting back against Hamas. Fascinating how there are so many protests against this. How would these naive idiots feel if someone constantly sent shells into their homes during a cease-fire period? Plus, Hamas sets up its headquarters near or in schools just to taunt Israel. Talk about not playing fair.

Yeah, I was here this weekend but a lot of distractions came up. Namely, my mother called up Sara to tell her to stay home. 3 times. This pissed me off. Sara was going to come here at some point but my mother was out of her goddamn mind for some reason. Sara needs sex. Hell, I need sex to keep the weird insect-like creatures from overtaking my already fragile mind.

Kidding. There are no 'insect-like creatures.' I'm sorry to say that, yes, my mind is fragile, though.

So, I must be off after watching FX's showing of Hellboy. Ever seen it? It's good but the sequel is amazing! Who the hell comes up with the idea of World War 2 soldiers finding a demon that was supposed to be nurtured by Nazis only to become a part of a team sent to help rid the world of bad things? Oh, Hellboy really likes cats and candy. It's charming when something destined for evil understands women's needs for the furry companions. Happy twats all around.