Something New. Something Brown.

"Oh gawd, no! Ah's gots to get up, work out, eat lunch, go to work, come home a mess, find something to keep me from getting depressed, go to bed, and repeat!"

-Me

The smell of ass is not a nice smell. Am I right, ladies? It's one of those odors that can really hit your nose so hard you'll feel like a boxer hit it perfectly. How is it possible for someone to forget to wash their ass?

I must be cursed for the last two moments of employment have brought me into buildings occupied by a co-worker that does not bathe. Remember way back when when it came to Stinky? Oh, how I have not forgotten a fat nerdy white guy that smelled worse than the typical Muslim forgoing deodarant due to religious reasons. Those were the days where I didn't need to call out Stinky's name. I could just point my nose up in the air and, depending on how strong the smell of him was, clearly told me where he was.

Plus, I will never forget Stinky's sudden blurting out that he masturbates to Japanese Manga movies, cartoons with exaggerated breasts and penises. The moment this happened made work go by so fast that night.

So, let it be known. I have spent the last 3 days working in an environment where one of my co-workers has taken a dump in his pants to announce his presence. "I am here! Let my turds be known!" I shit you not. I've spent time during out meetings before work even takes place keeled over due to the smell of the man. Somehow, I am admitting that I will take back the smell of Stinky if it meant ridding these new fumes.

It is a first to work with someone that reeks of shit. This place has warned this old man, from what I've been told. I'm not sure why it has no effect. You'd think that people nearly dying all around you would make you take notice that it is time to wash that old ass. Even a comedian my parents loved had a perfectly named title:

"You've gotta wash yo' ass."

I couldn't have said it better myself. No one likes to smell like poop. Well, maybe kindergarteners or those younger. Hell, I'm sure there is a kid you remember from school that would come smelling like shit. We had one, white kid with a gigantic ass named 'Clay.' Many a person was known to get sick sitting behind him.

I know this entry sounds weird but I'm in need of a venting. I'm extremely senstive to smell and will bask in the glories of those that I love. There is something that makes me as high as a sprite when it comes to Japanese blossoms, vanilla, amber, and especially strawberries. Of course, I do love the smell of pussy and if you sit in front of me clothed, with your legs spread, I can tell you what yours smells like. My only issue, even with the ones before, is that your pussy doesn't have too strong of a smell.

Shit and ass just ruin my days at work now. How can someone go to work smelling like this all while walking around with filthy skidmarks!?!

In other news, my mom and I have patched things up for now. Work sucks even more because of something I cannot understand. The weather is absolutely awful. I need sex. An Italian girl that is very shy in my gym has a crush on me. Old Nick has given me an idea as to how to make mowing your lawn much more fun (Hint: It involves beer). I'm going to Indiana this weekend.

Should I talk of the swingers Sara and I met on New Year's Eve? Due to my inner horniness where I try to avoid realizing that an older guy nearby smells of shit, my mind goes there.

So, I am outta here during another fine day of coldest of cold air making itself known. Only the true freaks of the gym go at this time. Funny to see the shy Italian girl that will not miss a moment of running nearby me. She's nice so I have coaxed out smiles from her rather than her typical scowls. Hard to explain but she is so guarded until you knock down that shyness. Working out is more fun when everyone around you is open to being goofy. Happy twats all around.