Rambo Is Hands On

Well, it happened. The first thing you'll see when you look out the window is pure white, all over. No sounds. Snow fell hard and fast all day. There is no way I'd forget how I thought that 10-inches would be so possible with the flurries. Said flurries turned into a major blast of snow. Blasts of snow have added up to what I'd say is just plain disgusting I'm-so-not-gonna-get-laid piles of cocaine without the after effects.

Not all of us have hatred for this snow. All 4 dogs have had a blast outside. You'll see that the backyard has a circle of little feet. Not in between. A fucking circle where all 4 went around the area to mingle, pee, and tell the other dogs in the neighborhood that Yorkies are in da hood. Yeah, we have to yell at our dogs to come in when a major conversation goes on at night.

I don't know. I'm up in odds over whether I can drive out to Indiana. Of course, Sara's got the same thing in mind. Nothing like waking up on the weekends to have sex with the look of white all around the window. Big bed. You can read in it but why do just that?

What I am reading is Alan Moore's 'League Of Extroardinary Gentlemen," something more exciting than I thought it would be. What happens when you take a group of people with amazing abilities? Add together James Bond, Mina (Dracula's lust object), The Invisible Man, Jeckyl/Hyde, Captain Nemo, and a few others all in hopes of saving the world. Yes, it's a graphic novel. But damn, it is so fucking able to draw you in if you grew up on these characters. Of course, James Bond is still a total cad chasing any sort of girl all while being a little plumper than you're used to. Mina has issues about her neck because Dracula did some major biting. The Invisible Man? Possible traitor issues when he takes off his clothes.

Plus, who would have thought that the characters from books we were ordered to read as kids would be so fucking horny! You've got to laugh when Mina turns into a totally adorable slut up against a tree ordering a man she grew up admiring to take use her as he sees fit. It's a bit demented and fun. Can't imagine what kind of kinkiness the Artful Dodger would want to get up to when finding a nice lil' lady to lay with.

What is nice is reading blogs with the same need I have, sex. I've gotten it in my head that every woman I walk by is thinking of something fiercely dirty. Not about me. There's just so many single women lost in some sort of thoughts of being dominated, a very common topic. One girl in the comments section was completely clueless about all this. Being dominated is not about ordering someone to pay your bills or give away a paycheck. What you want is to be lusted after and told what turns the other on. I'm all about doing what a girl wants but I also want her to let me do what I wish all while relieving me of this poison that builds up in me.

Tis not fair in life. I'm all about worries for tomorrow. So much shoveling has to be done, work, and then some sort of hope in that I can drive out to Indiana. The chances are slim to none and slim might have left town. I hate that. All these lustful thoughts in need of getting out. One minute I'm thinking a total freak-on doggystyle session and then..........well, you can come up with something in your own dirty mind. I'm not one to share everything with you.

So, I'm outta here as I make my way upstairs to watch the new Rambo movie. The 80's come back with a vengeance! John Rambo, a man with the ability to kill millions of people with his bare hands thanks to being a Green Beret must save missionaries taken captive in the jungle. Muscles, brute strength, knowledge of the bow, and a sneer is all he needs to help out a blond American so cute it hurts, Julie Benz. A man like Rambo has to be thinking dirty thoughts while working alone in the jungles. Plants grow so well when he sprinkles his magic seeds on them. Maybe he even does the pee pee dance while jacking himself off. Happy twats all around.

9-Inches Of Terror

"Who knew that the 9-inches Sara has to deal with when it comes to sex is not what I'm packing but the snow that will keep me from getting to see her."

-Me

Weather. Gotta love it. Unpredictable and damn right annoying at this time of year. I really, really want to get laid but my town is expecting a lot of snow tomorrow as does Sara's. Mine is very good about snow removal but Sara's? Eh, I've seen better done by blind cerebral palsy victims when it comes to their own sidewalks or driveways.

Let's face it. Sex is best when it's cold outside. Why not? Where the fuck are you going when it's at a point where your balls or tits feel as if they no longer want to stay attached.

"Oops, there goes my ball in the middle of Target! I hate it when someone sees this when I forgot to make them a wee bit less hairy! Razors are so fucking expensive!"

While I might think that those of you enjoying much warmer weather down south or in a tropical climate have it made, your time will come. Do you fuck during a hurricane? I'd laugh if someone put on The Scorpions and then proceeded to act out the part as some sort of bizarre mating ritual. "Yeah! I'm gonna fuck you like a hurricane!" Role playing does have its uses, I guess. There are times I wonder what I'd look like in tight leather pants.

Then again, all this thinking about how much I will miss getting laid just might be missing the point. Digging yourself out when it comes to that many inches of snow will wear you the fuck down, man. Too tired to fuck? You better believe it if you like to put your back into it, ol' chap. A bit of pounding on a lady's muff needs the kind of energy even spinach couldn't provide. We're talking about me, a shovel, and the results being too tired to fuck or do anything afterwards. There is fun in this because I do get to build a maze in the backyard for 4 little dogs that make sure they don't get lost by peeing on every corner.

My gym had a grand opening celebration. Not bad at all. For me, I did my workout and proceeded to enjoy the festivities where I got myself a toe ring from the local tanning place, ate a strawberry on a stick, and drank some sort of weird juice designed for those that need a pick-me-up after the workout. Richard enjoyed everything, too, and even gave me his t-shirt given to him for taking aerobics. Yes, he may be taking his weight-loss a little too serious while dancing around with ladies as they use their fists on imaginary speedbags. I, personally, draw the line at laying on the side to lift legs up and down. Farts happen and they will be fanned out for all to enjoy.

So, I'm going to leave you here as I am about to go look at my loot once again. New t-shirt! Everyone loves new t-shirts. My gym's logo and location are placed firmly on the chest area for advertising. We humans are label whores and free advertising whether we want it or not. Happy twats all around.

Shine Sweet Freedom

"I thought you looked like Christmas morning."

-Mr. And Mrs. Smith (Mr. Smith telling his wife, who is about to kill him, how he felt when he first met her)

I've had a rotten day. Allow me to tell you just how bad it was in a very toned down version. Work ran late. Rained. Walked to car in very cold wind. Long walk in a large parking lot. Windshield was frozen with ice. Car door wouldn't open for a while. Took a while to break the ice on windshield so I can drive off. Didn't go to the gym because I was cranky. Nobody wants to deal with me when I'm a cranky pants. Doesn't sound so bad? I was wearing a very thin sweatshirt over a t-shirt while in the parking lot chipping ice off the windshield because it was warm when I came to work.

At least the security guard waved at me when I left. I'm guessing it was because he enjoys feeling me up.

Not even 135 push-ups could get me in a better mood. Not even the little licks from the dog watching me do them helped. 5-Pound Phooey finds me special no matter how cranky I get but I did get something a tad better than dog slobber. 2 movies on satellite helped me on this cold, cold night where nothing went right, The Blues Brothers and Running Scared. Forget the sequel or remake, the 80's versions were so much better when you've got Jake and Elwood Blues being chased by thousands of cops, cowboys, and Nazis. Running Scared finds you with 2 Chicago cops possibly retiring but have to stop a drug lord. Both take place in Chicago. Both help me remember that the cold doesn't last forever, the same feeling I get with Bush in charge of things.

What woman doesn't enjoy being made love to under the lights of a cop's motorcycle?

A fellow reader asked and I shall do my best to answer. I love Sara. I've never loved anyone as strongly as I do with her. No one. I've been there with a broken heart long ago, barely able to walk to classes in college. That was my first love but it was puppyish. With Sara, it's stronger. We're weird together. One gets screamed at for driving the wrong way (her directions) and the other makes pterydactyl noises. It's a winning combination that only the weird can understand.

Yes, I still remember when I first met Sara in person. It was a strange drive because I *almost* went the wrong direction when getting off the interstate. Instinct. Sara thought I was late but later understood our time zones were different. Indiana is 1 hour ahead and I was busy chugging along in hopes of finding this brick apartment located near the downtown area. Nice directions that came with a note: "Just because you're coming, doesn't mean I'm going to share my bed with you." I've never left since. Isn't that romance at its finest?

Yes, I know. Almost 3 years and we still aren't living together. The easiest way to put it is this. We're both dating scared. I love her so much that I cannot begin to describe how much fun it is to sleep with her and start the morning talking about ridiculous stuff, couple stuff. You're naked so there are no walls put up. Balls out. Tits out. If it's a weekend morning, I'll find myself staring up at the ceiling with morning wood and Sara's head on my chest. Wicked smiles. Morning wood gone. Breakfast.

You ask me how I know I'm in love. It's simple. Things are sweeter. The little issues are long forgotten because getting yelled at while driving is no big deal. Sooner or later, an ass gets tapped and you're curled up in the living room's darkness watching a Netflix movie or TV show.

Bad habits disappear. I can be kind of stingy but I'm kind of over that now. Sara doesn't get as spoiled as I do so I like to do things for her. There was that time I didn't let her know that I remember how she once told me that a boy has never sent her flowers. Months later and they're right there waiting for her after work. Sara had this big smile. When she came her to meet my parents, I wanted her to be taken to our most amazing restaurant where people walk in wearing gorgeous clothes that are nicely hung up. Yes, I know women should pay for things themselves and blah, blah. There are times where a man should take a girl out for a meal that has her talking about it for a long time. Oh, and dress nicely.

There are things that I do not like. I hate how I miss her lots when it comes to sleep. I'm terrible on cold nights because I love the feeling of her warm body curled up into mine. Arms and breasts are held while my cock in nestled against her ass. Somehow we doze. Others, I'll watch her sleep until I can find myself drifting off completely. I don't know how you sleep but that's what works for me til the pain of realizing how much sports can do to my shoulders.

When did I actually fall? I'm not completely sure so you'd have to check my old blog. It was stated, no? The girl was fun when I first met her but the beginning is always about lust. A guy just can't keep his dick out of a girl those first few months. Fighting and life changing moments? That'll bring people closer than they realize, seeing as I was pretty worried when Sara suddenly got epilepsy. When the girlfriend finds she has a guy wanted by quite a few girls, she only grabs him to let him know that trust is complete.

So, why am I telling you this? Someone asked but I will tell you what I am fearful of. Taking that chance. One day, Sara and I might live together. Then again, we might not. But what if we did? Will she still enjoy how I am a bit of a kid inside? That I enjoy having a bit of space to myself? There are times I have to let out a bit of tension built up by going to the gym or for a run. The fact that I'm a bit vain tells you how hard I am on myself when it comes to my body's appearance. Does Sara even know how much I am amazed at how she can paint? I'm a lover of dark things and you've got to see some of these paintings she did in high school and college! I can't imagine being given something like that as a gift. I'm used to movie posters and stuffed animals but nothing like a well-thought out painting with edge.

It does annoy me when people all around me keep telling me I have to marry Sara. While I'm sure they mean well, what's the rush? We're happy. Both of us need some time to grow up a little bit more. I've made it my personal goal to see to it that I stay with a job for a longer period of time than I'm used to. Sara's got a new job that'll make her happier than the old one.

But if you had to ask again, I'd do anything for Sara in a heartbeat. Almost 3 years might not be long to you but I've been with so many women to know that this is the one that has me never looking across the pond for. Give us time. Some of you have been with me from the beginning so why not wait to see where it all ends up. Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished. All the little squabbles over dishes and bills can wait.

So, I'm outta here. A cold, cold night can make me a bit of an old warm fuzzy guy that misses sleeping with someone that enjoys the game of seeing who has the stinkiest morning breath. Sara cheats by brushing her teeth before me, though. I'll whip her ass at chess, though. Happy twats all around.

Sing Me Prayer

This just in: Britney's manager said in an interview that Britney Spears has 'mental issues.' Ya think?

I was having an okay day that got better only because of an email from Sammy. Somehow, within all those sentences telling me various things, there was a gem that made my day. Sometimes, it's the little things we notice that can make it all worthwhile. It's rare to get the little brown girl tangerine your mother warned you about to open up.

So, where was I? Oh, I know! I'm crushing on Dawn. Wait a minute. I'm going to fast for y'all as I have to make it clear that I watched a TV show tonight while finishing my closet. All done. I didn't realize I had left the channel to MTV, one of the worst places to find any sort of creativity, and became bombarded by Making the Band 4. Oh, how I missed thee as I suddenly find myself with a little taste for flavor. Dawn, you are H-O-T.

*Squeals like a girl*

Okay, I'll be serious now as I try to explain my love/hate for Making the Band. Love the various people as they try to make their own ways in the studio under a corporation almost as evil as Wal-Mart, P. Diddly. Why is it everytime he makes his way in the studio it's like the show should be about him? P. Diddly has to take the girls'/guys' shine away and place it back on him, a guy that lives off of a dead bloated rapper, Biggie. The premise sounds nice, give groups of people a chance to make an album while living together. You'll automatically get drama and possible romance. There's always a diamond in there just waiting to be found. But why oh why does P. Diddly need to constantly have all eyes on him when he walks into the studio?

Let's chat. Dawn? Wow! I used to have a huge crush on Aubrea but found her to have slowly turned into a Tara Reid look-alike. Yuck. She had this charisma that was suddenly zapped away from her all in hopes to look like a filthy blonde. Not my style. Aundrea put on some weight but is constantly cute. Dawn? Q, one of the guys in the other band, is so gonna not be able to resist a girl that wants to draw some focus onto her booty.

Sorry about that. I, for some reason, took great notice when Making the Band came on. While I hate the fact that these singers are ordered to sing songs made by other people, I find it interesting how so much energy is based on the looks of people. Dawn can sing so I'm rooting for her. It's just that there was this whole question from Diddly asking inappropriate questions about her stomach. Fitness is important for being up on stage but Dawn was never what you'd say as too winded to sing.

Whatever happened to people singing what they've made? I've always wondered why things have gotten to the point that a good looking individual comes in, is given songs written by another person, he/she sings records them, memorizes dance choreography, and then collects mucho dinero. I'd rather listen to what someone comes up with themselves and not manufactured robot shit about how much money you have. No one picks up a guitar to sing their hearts out about love lost gained or that the damn dog got run over by a Humvee again. Its lost 3 legs so a dude is gonna be bawlin' his eyes out as he's unable to drive off in the pickup truck full of cold beer in the cooler.

As I said, the closet is done. Finished it tonight after working out. Why I am a packrat like this, I'll never know. Every magazine had to be thumbed through to see why I kept it. Was there an article on Eliza Dushku? Is a Victoria's Secret model wearing barely anything? What I did love was the trip down memory lane where Tomb Raider was just starting to be filmed and any sighting of Angelina Jolie dressed as Lara Croft was pure gold. That would be way back in the 1990's a now folded magazine called Movieline. I miss it for the delicious articles and directors talking about their home theater set-ups. I'm so about the surround sound output because I do that kind of stuff as a hobby. Sara's parents had theirs set up by yours truly. James Taylor has the kind of music all speakers should be tuned for.

Wondering why I lost weight. Normally, I weigh myself after a workout on Monday nights. Just see what's going on when it comes to all this strength gained. Did I put on anything or am I still stuck on 201? What!?! I'm now 194? It's weird because I haven't changed a damn thing when it comes to eating. During winter, people gain weight so it might be possible that I can be much more over the 200 mark. So, why did I go down so much?

Doesn't really matter because I got hit on the side by Slutwatcher. Haven't seen him in over 2 weeks so I do miss his antics of distracting me by telling whose shorts he can see up now. Watch as I mimic him crying over his beloved Dallas Cowboys losing in the playoffs. Guys are so sensitive over their favorite football teams. Oh, yeah, and their weight.

Right now, our schools are going over religion being allowed within them. The Muslim kids are being allowed tardies thanks to morning prayers. You know me. I hate this and how religion is being allowed in public schools. Private schools? Dealt with that too fucking long with those goddamn nuns but it bothers me with public schools. You pray? Do it on your own time since you came to school to learn. No, I'm not in a bad enough mood to do a big entry on this.

So, I'm going to stop here as I still have a small amount of healing on my middle finger to deal with. Cut it open on Friday's work complete with a little blood splatter left on the dock. It just got worse as I even smashed my right knee into a metal pole. That was pain pure and simple as I lay on my back right after. I'm so afraid of infection that I placed 2 band-aids on that cut. There is so much dirt I have to deal with that it's a must. This boring entry must end now. Happy twats all around.

Useless Fact And Cunt

Fact: There are 178 sesame seeds on a Big Mac bun.

Can't say you come to this blog and not learn anything. While much of my life's little trivial issues might make you think I am a male underwear model (a boy can dream!), I do so love reading about weird facts.

To those of us that can find some kind of enjoyment in cleaning, I salute you. No, I will actually dance around the room in some kind of weird fit over conquering the almighty ridding of various things that make me a packrat. Playboy Magazines? Too many, seeing as '79 to the present means a long line of various women with bushes to those without. Please, bring back the a nicely trimmed bush. Others, I'd say an enormous collection of the men's mag, Maxim, will make you think I am a frat boy at heart. Nope, I just found the magazine to be more informative than most others out there. A long article on tits followed by how to conquer the grill will beat any girl's magazine about the latest lip gloss.

Yeah, that's pretty much all I did today, cleaning out a lot of old stuff from my closet. It's like every 3 or 4 months, it must be dealt with whether I like it or not. I've seen articles on the beginnings for the Lord Of the Rings trilogy, arguments about how George Clooney is a nice guy, and even the possibility of this new flick, Underworld, being a cult classic. How's about that? You'd now say that any movie with Kate Beckinsale wearing tight as skin rubber is destined for greatness.

This is where I drool.

That's how far back I can go when it came to my collection of Premiere magazines. The earliest was somewhere around '99 until it folded. I miss reading about the new things coming out way ahead of time. What really weirded me out was the final one. It's last article was of the late Heath Ledger. No joke. It was about a movie I had not seen where he fought on a horse after A Knight's Tale. Heath was a good guy. That's really all I can say.

Anyway, the Playboys are all nicely collected together and safe for the length of time I will have them. Sell? Maybe. I always envied an ex-friend's dad's collection because his was from the 60's til around 2000. My friend and I used to joke about how each decade meant a little trimming on the bushes. How the hell did a guy eat a girl out with that much hair down there? It's not something I enjoy, pulling hair out of my teeth.

Reached a personal goal today. I military pressed 300 pounds on a machine, something only 1 other guy I know can do. Said guy weighs over 250 pounds while I'm barely 200. Either I am getting stronger or there was some sort of personal high flowing through these veins. My body was bored with military pressing but I thought back to the time in the restaurant with Sara where she commented on how enormous my shoulders have gotten. Knows how to win my heart by telling me she feels so safe with me.

So, you see? My weekend was spent clearing old things out and 1 session in the gym. No biggee because I'll most likely be in Indiana this coming weekend. Super Bowl Sunday. Big screen plasma. Large leather couch. Girl curled up on my side. I've fallen asleep on Sara's mom's shoulder once so it's funny how the seating arrangement goes. It's Sara and I with her mom on the big couch. Sara's dad is in the big chair on the right. Guests go wherever they can.

Plus, I'm going to hear about Sara's play, The Vagina Monologues. Do you know how cool it is to listen to her say the most powerful word, 'cunt,' in front of a large group of people? She and I think this word should be seen as a good word. It has a definite reaction when said and sounds cool when you use it to talk dirty. Just watch the new movie, Atonement, with Keira Knightley. She receives a love letter saying, "I want to fuck your wet cunt." Whoo! The boy knows how to whoo a learned girl. I have been known to whisper to Sara how I'd love to lick her wet cunt. The girl smiles.

So, I'm outta here as I go back to work on the closet. 2 more days are needed, I guess. The nice thing is that I found my erotic magnet set to one day use on my own fridge. Can't imagine my mother seeing the beauty of such sweet, sweet words. "All day I dream of wet vagina. "Swollen member needs mouth." "Toast is sexy." "Pussy music to my ears." Hey, you get your own ideas and keep your mind in the gutter. I guess you can chalk all that up to a sudden need for sexual release after working so much on lifting large amounts of magazines. Happy twats all around.

Bogart Da Oreos

"Armed robbery, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo........what the hell's gotten into you, Frank?"

-The Naked Gun

Happy! Happy! Joy, joy! It's nice hearing that Obama won the South Carolina primary. Take that, you snotty old blond bitch! I think after years and years of being led by the older generation without a clue as to how the average joe lives, it would be nice to have a much younger guy like Obama heading things. Who cares if he did cocaine. Haven't we all dabbled a little in various things?

Nothing much for me this weekend. I've been dreading the much needed event of tackling my closet again. Too much stuff? How does every issue of Playboy from '79 til the latest issue sound to you? That's a lot of fucking issues to deal with that will one day be sold to another fellow collector. You don't know how much stuff you have when you put things away for years only to deal with it much, much later. Like I said before, Sara will be found laying on the floor looking at everything accumulated by yours truly.

To give you an idea as to how all over the place I am, I'll do it creatively in a way you'll understand.

The time: Early 80's.

The scene: Wal-Mart (before it went evil)

The event: Young boy goes to his grandparents' house and sees the town's first Wal-Mart. After seeing a few commercials for a new Hasbro toyline, he luckily finds the GIJoes there. They're poseable action figures that demonstrate a love of fighting for freedom when a ruthless dictator, Cobra Commander, tries to take over the world. The young boy's first GIJoe is a character named 'Grunt,' a simple looking soldier with a small helmet and M-16 rifle.

The time: January 2007

The scene: Wal-Mart

The event: Young boy is now a fully sexualized male found to dominate his way into various scenarios. After hearing about various ads in comics, he wants those 25th anniversary GIJoe figures he grew up with. Oh, what joy! There's Cobra Commander, Destro, and Crimson Guard! Must have to remember those good times in the 80's.

How lame have I become? Instead of my mom smiling as I run into the toy section, Sara replaces her by laughing instead. I don't know what it is about remembering my childhood but it's never done me wrong. At 34 figurines of my favorite action figure, Storm Shadow, I'm on the way to being a major weirdo that you'd assume would be a virgin like in that movie, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Nope. I hit a lot of ass all while keeping my loserdom on the down low. It is nice to have a girlfriend willing to hold my hand as I start spazzing out about how cool it is to own the toys I once had as a child. I cannot imagine myself going through that in a parallel universe because girls always had cooties back then.

If you told girls they had cooties, they'd steal your Oreos. Ya know how cigarettes are almost like money in prison? Well, Oreos were considered gold when you had nuns for teachers. Bribery worked in the religious sect.

Editor's note: I do not condone shopping at Wal-Mart. In fact, I do as much as I can away from it when it comes to groceries or any type of errand. The place reeks of evil corporation gone mad. Stop supporting underage slave labor. Don't tell me you believe that $7 t-shirt that says "I Love the U.S.A." is made here. Ya know what? I've got some swamp land to sell ya.

So, I hope everyone out there is having a great weekend. Some of you might be passed out on the floor in your own vomit. Then again, it might not be your vomit but the cat's barfed up hairball. Others might be having sex. Said sex could be with the inflatable kind or shower massagers. Long showers are good for what ails you. Happy twats all around.

It's Bedtime For Bonzo

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid."

-Spinal Tap

So, how do you like the economic stimulus package that our government's brightest minds have come up with? I was outraged. After a long period of denying that the U.S. is in a recession, it's obvious that the truth is out there. People are having a harder time making ends meet thanks to gas prices going up and staying there. I mean, $2.75/gallon is like a miracle of some sort. Energy prices have us living like New Yorkers because most of our income now goes towards that and not so much on relieving our hunger. Prices are up everywhere. Despite all this, our incomes are pretty much the same. If you can put an idiot in the White House...........

Pretty much the lot of you will get $600 back from the government. Nice, huh? Oh, that just about covers 2 months of rent or putting a slight ease in keeping the family fed. Our government is so out of touch and thinks we're living as mighty as they are. Even worse is that that money given to you will be taken out of next year's taxes. Did you know that? Better think if you're in the spending mood. The smart will use the money for savings or paying off old debt. Yeah, I know I'm old in thinking this instead of going out to the bars and ordering shots all night.

Gawd, I hate this fucking cold. -4 degrees out there tonight, folks. It was another pair of frozen balls on yours truly. Girls, you have no idea what we males go through when it comes to these things hanging down there. Then again, we weren't given 'nature's thermometers' like yours, nipples.

Note: I do like nipple play, though. Even better is knowing they are still there after almost losing them almost a month ago. The rough edges of things nearly took one off while the other was pretty damaged from something else.

In the latest issue of Spin Magazine, Lenny Kravitz tells the interviewer that he hasn't had sex in 3 years. He's been looking for a woman with a 'spiritual side.' What!?! A guy that gets more pussy than the whole feminine hygiene product section at Walgreens suddenly finds himself questioning things!?! It's a toss-up. Either Kravitz has a bad STD or all the past drugs/sex have done him in.

I'll be blunt in saying this. Sara would K-I-L-L me if I ever stopped having sex with her. She is a major hell-beast sent to fuck monogamously one lucky bastard (It's me! It's me!) til he can no longer produce a drop of semen. Each sexual moment ends with him breathing hard and dripping with sweat while Sara mews "I want some more." Yeah, that was one moment I cannot forget where a long period of time was spent fucking in 3 or 4 positions and then begging for my life. At this point, I'm more than happy to make her sore so I can rest.

Sex is fun. No, really it is that way for Sara and I. We're just into being crazy-like and have no shame in releasing all this pent up sexual energy that others might raise an eyebrow towards. Who hasn't been tied up? Yeah, there is the factor that I cannot because I enjoy touching but I'm still game.

So, 10 things I love about sex.........hard to do because this is pretty much spur of the moment. No notes. Nothing that resembles me preparing things. It is cold out there so maybe it would be best to make you wet. A lot of guys would love to sniff those panties after I get through with this.

10). Kissing. Sorry but I still find the old faithful time honored tradition that starts things off as a good sexy thing. Kissing doesn't just have to be on the mouth, ya know? I love kissing a woman's breasts, tummy (I'm a lover of belly buttons), lower back, ass cheeks, and the most obvious, pussy. Pussy kisses come in a form of 2, the pink lips and the time where they are spread to give what I call 'the oral kiss.' The oral kiss is very salty thanks to the combination of the juices and skin. The one thing about kiss I think people forget to realize is that it can be used to come up with your latest move. Kiss and then wonder if I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and slam you down on the bed? Will I suddenly turn you around and smack your ass?

9). Fingering. Ah, yes, a boy's first time inserting a finger up inside a girl. He never forgets his first time exploring what Human Sexuality never talked about. Damn, it's slick up in there, yo. For me, I enjoy feeling around and then using her moans to go harder or faster. Sometimes, I'll paused to lick the juices dripping down said fingers but most of the time I just enjoy exploring around. I'll never forget sitting in a car bored while waiting on a friend's errand. Sara noticed and pulled up her skirt for me to get excited. Panties to the side and we have wet girl taking notice to not go too far. Security cameras can be a good thing and a bad thing. Bad thing this time.

8). Motions. Sometimes, it's just the dance we do before we end up in sex. There's the heavy breathing where we're telling the other that it's time to fuck. Girl bends over in apartment hallway. Skirt is pulled up. Guy pulls panties to the side. Finger is inserted to see how wet. Pants are unzipped. A gentle probing of the cock's head to tease. It's all there and, yes, I did that in an apartment hallway because Sara does not care who watches us. There are thousands of ways for a girl to tease with motion. Get boyfriend to go out to dinner with her but don't tell him there are no panties underneath her skirt. Knock something over and order him to pick it up. Open legs. Watch poor boy get all flustered before throwing her over his shoulder to fuck girl in alley. Sometimes, it's before sex that can drive things so wild.

7). Pussy stains. Face it. All guys love a girl's wet panties. It's so naughty to be sitting opposite a girl that wants me to know she's wet and proud. I'm not going to name names but I've been the recipient of receiving panties while seated in a crowded restaurant. For many guys, it's proper to smell them but, for me, I am more of rubbing my fingers in that 'spot of lust' that's best shown with light colors. Black panties are boring. Bring on the lighter ones where the 'wet spot' is so obvious. There is honor in all this. When the male has fucked his girl silly, a sweet thing for her to do is place the previously worn panties in his hand before he leaves for home. Hopefully, they are extremely wet because it's an hour's drive. There is a thrill when she unzips her pants in an alley as we walk home together. A preview of what's to come? The back of the hand feels what the cock longs to soak itself in. Sara's really naughty.

6). Being naked. Take care of your body? Show it off! I've got a very low body-fat percentage at under 10%. The cock on a guy looks so much better than on a pencil pushing male that sits around with Cheetos all day. I love being naked around Sara and she does it as well. Sometimes, when I'm trying to get dressed, she'll just play with my penis. Things that tend to flop around tend to excite women.

5). Cock control. My fantasy comes thanks to being submissive. Yes, I have turned a bit into the dominant but this was my original thing. I love having my penis under a girl's control. She does what she wants with it all with a smile. While it's not so great when she has cold hands from the cold weather and will not let go after getting a firm grip on my dick, there are moments. I've always found that standing there taking a piss only to have my neck bitten and cock now in the palm of her hands as she aims it to be quite sexy. Kick down that door! Grab my cock as I piss. Bite me! Don't forget to shake and THEN stroke. Always have a sly smile as you grab the lube to help the boy rid himself of the morning wood.

4). Cocktails. I once told Sara in a department store that I loved the smell of her cunt all over my cock. It was so strong that I noticed it while I took a long piss. How's that? Ever found it fun when a guy grabs you to tell you that he loves your most intimate scent all over after a sex session? It's like this little secret between you as various people pass by. There is something about standing there and noticing how sticky my cock is after being fucked.

3). Seeing everything. I'm a total lover of the gyno view. Maybe not so much in porn because the same image gets boring. What I love is a girl that loves to show it all, asshole and pussy. Of course, this means a good ol' 69'ing session where tongue goes in and a wet thumb rubs. Various girls I've dated were sometimes shy. I can tell you very easily that Sara is not. I'll never forget laying on the bed and telling her how much I love looking at women's assholes since the cunt's can get a little boring. Pants were dropped and an ass was presented in my face. Don't forget that various viewpoints help, too. Upside down and to the side work as well.

2). Cumming on her. At first, I found cumming on a girl's body as degrading. Not so much anymore because it's my personal way of saying: "This is what you make me do and I want to show you." I cannot help it. It's a must to tell Sara that she has this effect on me. I squirt a hell of a lot that I love how she stares. "Does it ever stop?" I love to cum on breasts, tummy, and the back. Once, it got so crazy when I shot a huge stream of it that it lined from her upper back to the lower part. Doggy style can make a guy do crazy things, ya know?

1). Talking. I've no idea why couples don't share their fantasies. I've mentioned how Sara and I discuss who we'd invite to an orgy. There is a possible threesome (I've already done that in the past) one day because I've got this inkling that Sara wants to taste a girl. Nothing is held back when it comes to us. She knows I found it fun to be taboo where I was given a blowjob while she was peeing. I mean, one minute I'm brushing my teeth. The next? Shorts down and cock in mouth. It was only last year that I understood the enjoyment of being smacked on the ass. Before that, biting.

So, I hope that gives you, dear reader, a slight idea as to what I like. None of these are in an order. Not everything has been mentioned. If you were looking for physical feeling, I would have to say that the most amazing sizzle comes from the first moment my cock slides in her. It's heaven and, yes, I let out a whimper at how good it feels to slide right in a wet cunt. Start out slow and end up a complete mess where I'm then laying on my back as cum continues to drip out. Watching a woman drink my cum is up there as well. Remember control? Sexy is when she's busy squeezing/stroking out those last few drops. I hope you are all wet and twitching in your seats as your panties are clinging to your lady parts. Happy twats all around.