Shine Sweet Freedom

"I thought you looked like Christmas morning."

-Mr. And Mrs. Smith (Mr. Smith telling his wife, who is about to kill him, how he felt when he first met her)

I've had a rotten day. Allow me to tell you just how bad it was in a very toned down version. Work ran late. Rained. Walked to car in very cold wind. Long walk in a large parking lot. Windshield was frozen with ice. Car door wouldn't open for a while. Took a while to break the ice on windshield so I can drive off. Didn't go to the gym because I was cranky. Nobody wants to deal with me when I'm a cranky pants. Doesn't sound so bad? I was wearing a very thin sweatshirt over a t-shirt while in the parking lot chipping ice off the windshield because it was warm when I came to work.

At least the security guard waved at me when I left. I'm guessing it was because he enjoys feeling me up.

Not even 135 push-ups could get me in a better mood. Not even the little licks from the dog watching me do them helped. 5-Pound Phooey finds me special no matter how cranky I get but I did get something a tad better than dog slobber. 2 movies on satellite helped me on this cold, cold night where nothing went right, The Blues Brothers and Running Scared. Forget the sequel or remake, the 80's versions were so much better when you've got Jake and Elwood Blues being chased by thousands of cops, cowboys, and Nazis. Running Scared finds you with 2 Chicago cops possibly retiring but have to stop a drug lord. Both take place in Chicago. Both help me remember that the cold doesn't last forever, the same feeling I get with Bush in charge of things.

What woman doesn't enjoy being made love to under the lights of a cop's motorcycle?

A fellow reader asked and I shall do my best to answer. I love Sara. I've never loved anyone as strongly as I do with her. No one. I've been there with a broken heart long ago, barely able to walk to classes in college. That was my first love but it was puppyish. With Sara, it's stronger. We're weird together. One gets screamed at for driving the wrong way (her directions) and the other makes pterydactyl noises. It's a winning combination that only the weird can understand.

Yes, I still remember when I first met Sara in person. It was a strange drive because I *almost* went the wrong direction when getting off the interstate. Instinct. Sara thought I was late but later understood our time zones were different. Indiana is 1 hour ahead and I was busy chugging along in hopes of finding this brick apartment located near the downtown area. Nice directions that came with a note: "Just because you're coming, doesn't mean I'm going to share my bed with you." I've never left since. Isn't that romance at its finest?

Yes, I know. Almost 3 years and we still aren't living together. The easiest way to put it is this. We're both dating scared. I love her so much that I cannot begin to describe how much fun it is to sleep with her and start the morning talking about ridiculous stuff, couple stuff. You're naked so there are no walls put up. Balls out. Tits out. If it's a weekend morning, I'll find myself staring up at the ceiling with morning wood and Sara's head on my chest. Wicked smiles. Morning wood gone. Breakfast.

You ask me how I know I'm in love. It's simple. Things are sweeter. The little issues are long forgotten because getting yelled at while driving is no big deal. Sooner or later, an ass gets tapped and you're curled up in the living room's darkness watching a Netflix movie or TV show.

Bad habits disappear. I can be kind of stingy but I'm kind of over that now. Sara doesn't get as spoiled as I do so I like to do things for her. There was that time I didn't let her know that I remember how she once told me that a boy has never sent her flowers. Months later and they're right there waiting for her after work. Sara had this big smile. When she came her to meet my parents, I wanted her to be taken to our most amazing restaurant where people walk in wearing gorgeous clothes that are nicely hung up. Yes, I know women should pay for things themselves and blah, blah. There are times where a man should take a girl out for a meal that has her talking about it for a long time. Oh, and dress nicely.

There are things that I do not like. I hate how I miss her lots when it comes to sleep. I'm terrible on cold nights because I love the feeling of her warm body curled up into mine. Arms and breasts are held while my cock in nestled against her ass. Somehow we doze. Others, I'll watch her sleep until I can find myself drifting off completely. I don't know how you sleep but that's what works for me til the pain of realizing how much sports can do to my shoulders.

When did I actually fall? I'm not completely sure so you'd have to check my old blog. It was stated, no? The girl was fun when I first met her but the beginning is always about lust. A guy just can't keep his dick out of a girl those first few months. Fighting and life changing moments? That'll bring people closer than they realize, seeing as I was pretty worried when Sara suddenly got epilepsy. When the girlfriend finds she has a guy wanted by quite a few girls, she only grabs him to let him know that trust is complete.

So, why am I telling you this? Someone asked but I will tell you what I am fearful of. Taking that chance. One day, Sara and I might live together. Then again, we might not. But what if we did? Will she still enjoy how I am a bit of a kid inside? That I enjoy having a bit of space to myself? There are times I have to let out a bit of tension built up by going to the gym or for a run. The fact that I'm a bit vain tells you how hard I am on myself when it comes to my body's appearance. Does Sara even know how much I am amazed at how she can paint? I'm a lover of dark things and you've got to see some of these paintings she did in high school and college! I can't imagine being given something like that as a gift. I'm used to movie posters and stuffed animals but nothing like a well-thought out painting with edge.

It does annoy me when people all around me keep telling me I have to marry Sara. While I'm sure they mean well, what's the rush? We're happy. Both of us need some time to grow up a little bit more. I've made it my personal goal to see to it that I stay with a job for a longer period of time than I'm used to. Sara's got a new job that'll make her happier than the old one.

But if you had to ask again, I'd do anything for Sara in a heartbeat. Almost 3 years might not be long to you but I've been with so many women to know that this is the one that has me never looking across the pond for. Give us time. Some of you have been with me from the beginning so why not wait to see where it all ends up. Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished. All the little squabbles over dishes and bills can wait.

So, I'm outta here. A cold, cold night can make me a bit of an old warm fuzzy guy that misses sleeping with someone that enjoys the game of seeing who has the stinkiest morning breath. Sara cheats by brushing her teeth before me, though. I'll whip her ass at chess, though. Happy twats all around.