Balls All Gone

"It's mind over matter. We don't mind because you don't matter."

-An old t-shirt slogan found on my old college's fraternity

I've been scaled down a bit. Want to guess how much cash I have in my wallet? $8 after my haircut tomorrow. Ugh. There are moments where I can be a bit too impulsive with my spending habits and end up in need of someone, more likely female, to clonk me on the head. Why girls? I just cannot take the frowny face


Some people get impulsive when it comes to trashy magazines. Others? Video games or clothes. My problem is that I ordered a very expensive erotic photography book from Borders. $95 is a bit much but that's me. I like images of the female nude brought about by high-class photography. No grainy-I-barely-know-how-to-use-a-camera. The lighting has to be perfect. There has to be thought in the suggestions on posing. Smiles are more abundant than blank stares. I'd recommend the tasteful nudes of Guido Argentini if you've got the cash but make sure it's your kind of expensive nudity.

Again, my collection of erotic photography books has overtaken my closet. I must have over $5,000 worth and a girlfriend that is going to go nuts when she sees this one day. Would you believe I spent some of Sunday evening on the computer because she wanted to show me another of her favorite nude models? Love it when Sara tells me how nice her pussy looks.

My ex-boss laughed at me today. I told him I need Valentine's Day off because Sara is going to be performing in a play. The usual comes up. "Awwwwww." Single people (I'm not completely sure if this guy is single because he does look like Han Solo, seriously) enjoy tormenting those of us that have performances we must put in the bedrooms of our mates. Do you think his laughter would get worse if I told my ex-boss that the play is called The Vagina Monologues? Some single guys will start to drool just over that dangerous word.

I hate feeling like I'm poor even if payday is Friday. It'll be back to the drawing board because I've got 3 more books to order and then I'm done. Why does the female nude have to be so beautiful? How many think that Sara would spend a day on the floor looking at every erotic photography book I own?

Just about every blog has talked about Heath Ledger and rightly so. Nothing really bad to say about him because he never gave off a feeling of being a whore for the Hollywood machine. The only thing I can think of when it comes to negativity and Heath is that, if it's suicide or bad drugs, he leaves behind a 2-year-old. It's pretty selfish to die when you've created life. I may hate kids but sure as hell aint one to leave 'em to fend for themselves.

Playing around with a possible Top 10 List on why I love sex. It's kind of funny to toss around in this head because of that Monday morning. Oh, the sheets were a mess of small amounts of cum that dripped off Sara. That bed? Destroyed. I'm pretty sure we made a porno where things started out slowly only to end up with her telling me she's too sore. Love to throw her around, too. I swear it sucks when I can only say I had 1 orgasm while she has at least 7. I lost count when she was up to 4.

You know what? I'm scared to move to Indiana. It's the fact that I'm so used to things here, my town and life, that it's a hell of a change. Sara's parents love me but I'll have enemies, the kind where you deal with new cooking. Vegetable stew? That was Sunday night and I'm no fan of cooked carrots. Does that give you an idea? New town that I've traveled through only to find various annoying things when it comes to the locations of places I haunt. All this goes away when I get an email telling me I'm missed in bed. Apparently, I make a great snuggler.

As for life in the gym, it's been another great one only to come home feeling sore as fuck due to the cold weather. Bones, baby. I can feel 'em move around in this skin when the windchill goes below 20 degrees. I don't care how much I enjoy wearing leather jackets. This boy doesn't like feeling as if his balls will drop to the ground after freezing.

Jackass 2 does show that the balls can freeze to something. Watch it if you dare to see some mighty hairy ones.

So, onward we go upstairs to find myself underneath a medium comforter with the satellite TV playing the usual, 48 Hours (Nick Nolte!), Ultraviolet (Mila!), Red Heat (Russian Arnold!), and cartoons where I wonder just how old I am. Happy twats all around.