First She Lets Me Peel 'Em

"The trick is to constantly lie to yourself that it's going to get better."

-Me

Saw a car accident on my way home from work. I'll admit that my first thought while being flagged into a different lane by the police wasn't sorrow. It was more along the lines of, "What jackass cannot figure out how to use his/her turn signal? Ever heard of using the brake? Did you put the cell phone away?" It's annoying to think these things but let's be truthful. When have you ever seen a driver actually doing what he/she is supposed to do, drive?

Fact: It was a blue mini van hit on the driver's side, most likely by someone not looking while on the phone.

I don't always talk about work. Unlike a lot of you, I am able to put away that moment in time and bask in the glories of watching various political shows. Porn is there when my body is in pain due to lifting very heavy objects, namely when my left wrist is killing me. It's that fucking bad, so bad that I cannot lift my small dogs with it.

But work is work. I find myself waking up in the morning not wanting to go all because of the abuse my body takes. Sure, I could go out and find myself a new job, something I think about here and there, but I think what keeps me where I am is the fact that being busy passes the time fast. I mean, it just fucking goes! Today, I was all over the workplace doing different things. A few of these were new to me so I went through a small amount of trial and error. It took me 2 times to realize that the label reader faces out of the belt. Pat on the back. No time. I'm now at a new dock.

Some people amaze me, though. There is a dirty little Mexican (aren't they all?) that does very well at lifting things that weigh almost as much as him. He and I worked together while I was happy that my lack of wrist strength was kept secret by just moving things along. If I had to do the little Mexican's job.........ugh. I'll be dead and laughed at. Here's why.

I'm big, yo. At almost 200 pounds and very little bodyfat, I get a lot of shit about it. People will playfully mimic punching my stomach or, if you're the lesbian girl, play with my chest muscles. It's cute here and there, discussing my workouts or giving tips that I've learned over the years. When martial arts fights come up in discussion, people look at me and debate how I would do. Remember? According to some people, I am a ninja. You don't hear much about American white boys being ninjas but apparently they exist.

Little do people know that I'm a mess inside. My left wrist feels like it'll come off. This ol' upper back is exhausted. Since I sleep face down, my shoulders are always stretched for some reason to the point that it feels like they got a workout. There's more but I'll make you think I am whining. My workouts in the gym do not cause any of this pain. It's my job where each day is a bit different. Sometimes I lift things that'll make your jaw drop.

The funny thing is that I come home and almost always come close to falling asleep by 8pm. Is that what it's all about?

I've got a few people that want to see my Halloween costume. Makes me kind of nervous because there are a few adjustments yet to be made. Two guys in my gym are going to help me with one of these and, no, I cannot give too much away. Sara might come out of nowhere to read this so I want the secret to continue. Her questions:

Batman? Nope.

Joker? Nope.

Storm Shadow? No-no but good thinking.

For all she knows, I could be fucking She-Ra or Strawberry Shortcake. Gawd, I remember the good old days of sniffing Miss Strawberry Shortcake's panties when the girls left them in the living room of the babysitter's house. Do you know how hard it would be for me to contain myself if pussy smelled as good as that!?! Strawberries are a weakness of mine.

Well, you should know that I am leaving for Indiana tomorrow, right after getting my ass in the gym and running errands. Leaving my town on a high after a shower and a workout is incredible. Down that interstate I go! Tummy is usually full of scrambled eggs. I'm hoping you, dear reader, are as good as I am at avoiding places like McDonald's. Nobody appreciates a fat flabby ass caused by gluttony. Oh, and I'd like to wish you all a great weekend at getting your pussies tingled. It's Fall, cool for you to get completely laid in a light wind. Never leave Strawberry Shortcake alone with me. Happy twats all around.