Sneaky Evil

"Just noticed the kitchen chairs propped up against the sink's cabinet doors. Just how strong are mice these days, Ma?"

-Me

We've got mice. I guess age makes you paranoid even when it comes to the smallest of critters. Or 'vermin' according to my mother. Just what makes her feel the need to take away the things we sit (or fart) on and prop them strongly against a cabinet's doors? The mice might free themselves to wreck havoc upon us! My DVD collection will be nibbled on and we can no longer find ourselves able to make phone calls. My cereal! Oh, my poor Raisin Bran eaten by the fattest of the lot!

I guess seeing Rattatouille changes things when it comes to the 4-legged sneaky little shits. Looooooved that movie. Period. Yes, I know it was about rats. Still, it makes me wonder if mice could think like that.

It's nearly Halloween so I must admit that I feel odd that I can no longer do my annual list of horror films that get to me. It's been done to hell. Not much has changed thanks to horror movies taking a turn for the silly instead of scary. Tempting to take a look at this flick called The Strangers that has gotten a lot of attention lately. A couple is terrorized by 3 masked assailants that just suddenly show up at their temporary house after a disastrous asking for marriage by the fiancee. She turns him down and here we go. Weird girl shows up asking for someone and away we go!

No, I have not seen it, just read a lot of good reviews.

I think a part of my fantasies has to do with having sex with someone that enjoys The Lost Boys. Sara does not like horror movies. I just cannot get her to see the logic of how great it is to feel scared. Give me the werewolf chase through the tube on An American Werewolf In London. Just how do British soldiers get out of a farmhouse surrounded by werewolves in Dog Soldiers? Can a team of girls that enjoy dangerous extreme sports get out of a cave filled with creatures hunting them in the dark when it comes to The Descent? While Pinhead of Hellraiser became such a boring toy in the sequels, the first two really did a number for people that enjoy rough sex. Hellraiser 1 and 2 are so gruesomely clever! Does the moment a girl gets her period really mean that all hell breaks loose where it also could be a way to describe slowly turning into a werewolf in Ginger Snaps? I guess you can say that besides my interest in the warmth provided by women's cunts, I enjoy the adrenaline rush of a scary good time.

My parents never allowed me to see horror films for so long. Lucky for me, USA Network played them in the middle of the afternoon, hosted by Captain USA, a moron chomping on a cigar. Two that come to mind are My Bloody Valentine (scared the shit out of me) and Friday the 13th Part 3. Good times! Sometimes, my little brother would sit in the living room with a walkie talkie warning me when my parents were making their way to my room. I'm crafty like that.

But enough of all that. I'm just pleased as punch that one of my favorite cartoons is coming out on DVD for the first time. Let's see........after GIJOE, Transformers, Duck Tales, and He-Man what could get to me in the same way these have?

The Real Ghostbusters is coming out on November 15th! Whoa! When I was a kid, this show had me glued to the TV. There was the eerie music combined with fun stories that were quite creative. Anyone remember the endless baseball game where the evil ghosts played our heroes? There are so many memories! I have to have this amazing set of 70something episodes so I can relive those times. I'll have every cartoon that got to me. Well, other than the Smurfs. Loved them but I'm more into creativity mixed with some smart violence. The possibility of 'smurf stu' didn't horrify me as much since Gargamel was too easily manipulated by unforseen events. Lovely theme song, though.

La-La-La-La.....

So, I'll tell all. I'm on vacation starting today. The timing is beautiful because I get to celebrate Halloween and see Obama kick McCain's ass on Tuesday while being in Indiana. Voted early, yo. There's a big party on Saturday where many take Halloween seriously. What am I?

I'm going to be Johnny Lawrence from The Karate Kid. Yes, that's the bad guy that got kicked in the face by the 'crane technique' after tormenting weak and pathetic Daniel in high school. Sara wouldn't allow me to change my hair blonde, seeing as that was the plan for yesterday. Boo. I've always wanted a Cobra Kai karate gi so that calms things down. Some martial arts experts that I work out with helped me by showing me how to tie a black belt. Just watch the big match on Youtube or something to see my Halloween costume. It shows my giant arms as no one will attempt a 'crane technique' on my ass.

I've pretty much always love the bad guys so it's no surprise that I picked Johnny Lawrence. Rob Zombie, while watching the making of his Halloween reprise, said it best in describing how great flawed people are. Totally good is just boring. There's no story. With Johnny Lawrence, there's a question of why he tormented poor Daniel in The Karate Kid. Yeah, it's great the good guy won but sometimes......sometimes the bad guy wins.

So, I will be gone for a bit on vacation in Indiana. Lovely entry, no? Hope you know what scares you or lived on some of the greatest cartoons like I did. I'm a kid at heart. Lovely demeanor and complicated as fuck when it comes to my head. Just give me a Bud Light Lime and I'll be yours for a few hours. Here's to hoping all of you get your pussies soothed this weekend. Happy twats all around.