She's A Goblin

"Where are all my ho's at?"

-Me

One thing that irks me is having to pay the goddamn car insurance. Sure, it doesn't come often, just every 6 months, but it still sucks to see a large amount of money disappear. And doesn't it feel like it's all over nothing? You don't really see much of anything after paying the insurance. No fancy schmancy gadgets for reaching a certain amount of time with your insurer. No car mat. No cheap watch. Just money gone. All gone.

Ah, the weekend. It's a time for all of you to do things or catch up on things that you've put off thanks to the insanity of work. For me, it's all about healing this body from all the beatings I take at work. My left shoulder is only semi-healed. The wrist is still questionable and will soon feel like it's going to break off again. The main amount of pain comes from the inner-forearms that swell up. It's been said that my job is a workout. That's true but I already work out and will take years to even be able to let myself go. With me, you've got a hardbody for life.

The funny thing about pain is that it can be controlled. Forget about it and you will survive. Dead right. Well, I noticed something about dealing with pain. Watching porn can help and, yes, I am being serious because for the first time in a long time I was able to forget about how much I was in thanks to my left wrist.

Let's be clear. I am serious in that being able to watch the porn channels on my satellite helps. Hell, I've read about a study where people reacted in the same way, by being administered pain while watching people fuck. Fascinating! Oh, are those titties!?!

It could be that I have this insane need to know what turns other people on or even to find something that gets my attention. Stockings do. Guys that put their dicks in pizza boxes before delivering them to 'unsuspecting' big-boobied blondes does not. First of all, he ruined the fucking mushrooms by putting his dick on them. I'm very picky on that, no genitals are to be placed on pizza. She can rub her pussy on Jimmy John sandwich, though.

Why, oh, why do women keep their high heels on while fucking? Just askin'.

I've got to admit that these POV porn movies where you are supposed to feel as if you are the guy getting your dick sucked can be amusing. Point-Of-View is important because it does give you to feel of what happens during doggy-style. Now, we all know that it feels good to slide a cock on in there but we guys also enjoy the sights, pussy lips being torn apart and that cute little puckered asshole just centimeters away. What could possibly go wrong?

I know, I know. Porn's not for everyone but it's got an accident-like timing. You can't look away when something tickles the dirty part of your brain. There might be something that gets your fancy about a certain guy's penis, girls. Or maybe you just get this incredible feeling when you see him really eat a girl out. Like I said, it's all about your kinky side but, for me, it's amateurs because enormous tittied completely shaved blondes rarely do it. There's something about a real girl, slender but doesn't look like she's been liposucked yet, left a few pubic hairs around her bush, and has an awkwardness about her. Professional dick suckers just aren't what they used to be because, let's face it, all of you have had a penis in your mouth at some point.

You'd almost get the feeling that if a guy pulled out his penis, anywhere anytime, a woman would automatically take it in her mouth. The guy could be in the middle of a barren desert only to find himself standing there while a woman just suddenly appears in front of him on her knees.

The one thing that confused me came when a college party turned into a few people fucking during it. Wow. I've never seen anything like that when I was in college. All we had was cops showing up to get rid of the underagers. What makes a guy get up, take his girlfriend off the couch while she's talking to a friend, spread her legs to reveal a very obvious pee stain on her jean shorts from all the beer, and fuck her right there? Oh, and they totally went at it like bunnies. You'd think that her pee stain would keep him from eating her out, sir? Totally wrong. It could be all his friends cheering them on that helped, too. I'm all for getting involved in an orgy but I prefer a cleaner environment.

I do not condone slapping my penis on the face of a girl. Wrong. Totally wrong. Nor will I insist she lick the cum I dripped on the floor, pee on her, or toss her dirty panties to my friends so they can smell them. Some things are just fucked up.

Don't think I only watch porn. It's nice here and there but it gets dull at some point. There is only so much penis drilling vagina that I can take. Gene Simmons put it best: "Why would I watch porn when I'd rather do it?" Having satellite with all the channels also means lots of Pay Per Views except the selection sucks this week. Doomsday was fun, dumb fun with cannibals. There are so many scenes taken from the greatest movies, Aliens, Road Warrior, and even Lethal Weapon.

Oh, and I got that Blu-Ray high defintion DVD player. Fascinating. A little confusing but kind of cool how there are new methods to getting where you want to go with a DVD now. You can play the movie and have a nice little pop-up menu appear if you need something else. No more going to Special Features. Continue watching while you attempt to find what you are looking for. I'm still figuring things out but Blu-Ray is nice.

So, to each and everyone of you a good night. It's close to another beginning of the week where I will be in pain, tired, and wondering if this is all there is to life. I'm being chased by a girl that works at a bookstore. Everytime I go in, I get seeked out. The thing that sucks is that I realize more and more how the economy has slowly started to hurt this independant bookstore. Less books for sale. It's always sad if a bookstore has to fold. Happy twats all around.