Shart For Your Heart

"Do you know what a shart is?"

-My mum

That's what my mother asked me on Mother's Day. I don't know why this question came up but I couldn't say I know what it is. Apparently, I did not know that this is what you call a fart that ends up with a shit stain in your underwear. My mother, the card.

So, how was Mother's Day? I'd say it was awful but that's only because of the weather, terribly rainy all fucking day. The whole sky was dark as fuck while I did my best to stay in some sort of cheer form. Yeah, I know we should celebrate mothers all around but the state of the sky says that it was not to be Sunday.

I got my mum 2 books, both based on dogs. Look, I know for a fact that Jethro's recent death has taken a bit of a toll on Mum. Evenings were spent with the little guy sleeping at her side. The occasional peep out of Jethro meant that somebody took his squeaky toy and better give it back. It's not fun that his last few weeks were where the little guy was just too weak to even walk as cancer crept up his body. You'd see it, too, when you look in his dark eyes. I'm still feeling lucky that I said goodbye that night, right before he died.

There's a bright side to everything. While on a walk that took place on Saturday, a small amount of goslings hatched that week only to be taking swimming lessons that day. I got to see the mother and father take positions to urge the little guys on when in the lake. You had to be there to understand how beautiful the sight was on that day. A part of me wishes both my parents were around when I was little. Instead, my dad was too busy with work and I had to learn sports on my own. Goslings are lucky and I even caught them today when they lay in the shade. My dog, with her bad attitude towards anything small, had them run towards the lake in preparations for an escape.

Found out today that I definitely know black people. My co-worker agrees after I discussed what 'badunkadunks' are. Please, by now, you should know that they are magnificent fat asses on women. Not my thing. I just like the word. When I described one of the girls we work with, her ass, my co-worker ran his hand up against the truck to describe it as flat. What is it with black guys wanting cellulite filled gigantic asses!?! This discovery that women can clap their ass cheeks is going too far. Again, 'badunkadunks' is a funny word.

FYI: No one knows why black people smoke Menthols. Nobody knows.

Work's been going okay. Days can be overwhelming, like today. While management just walks around staring at us, we have to keep things moving. Here's a possibility. If things are in dire need to be speeded up, why not help? What does it take to get managers to earn their paychecks?

So, I'm preparing to leave this Friday for Indiana. No surprise there since there is a small pile of pubes piled up in the bathroom. Haven't done that for the last 2 visits, much to the dismay of Sara having to pull out a few hairs from her mouth on occasion. When I forget to do something, it can run on for a little too long. As for what is going on in Indiana, I have no clue as to whether Sara is looking for a job or even has one. All I know is that painting has become top priority while the roommate is gone (YES!). Would you dump all your dirty dishes and shit all over the kitchen for your roommate to clean up before going to another country? Sara's did. Happy twats all around.