What I See On Playboy

"So, I saw what she ate for dinner when she showed me her butt."

-Me

Sorry about that. Last night's entry pretty much ate it. Only one paragraph got through while the rest, politics, didn't. I've never been lucky when it comes to the subject because no one really wants to talk about what's been going on in the political world these days. We already know that our lives are fucked thanks to a leadership that pretty much consists of a party of 3rd Graders that pick their noses after sniffing glue because their boogers taste better that way.

So, I came up with something to discuss that many seem to enjoy. Sex. Why not? I've not been as open as I used to be when it comes to what I've seen or done. Pretty much all my sexual fantasies have been lived out even if there are occasions where I do wonder about a threesome with Sara. Good luck to any girl willing to join us because Sara's pretty rough with her constant demands for more orgasms. The number's gotta be at least 7 or sex just aint worth it.

Now do you see why I get so tired?

As you know, I have the Playboy Channel. Add the others, Exctasy, ClubJenna, Penthouse, and a few more but I love Playboy the most. While there are the usual porn movies on it, it's not quite as raunchy as the others. In other words, there are no cum shots nor are there any scenes that involve female urination. Good ol' penetration is always there just as it's inevitable that the prom dress must come off for a good time. What did surprise me is that Playboy does some light bondage things but that's for another time.......

What got me to this entry's topic was the sight of a guy obviously in his late 60's sending in an amateur tape for all to see. In it, his wife/girlfriend that is obviously much younger (more likely to be in her 30's) and dressed in a sexy nurse's outfit is getting fucked in many different positions. I know older people fuck and I accept this. It's just odd to see something I've never seen, an older dick wedged into a much younger girl's pussy.

You'd be surprised as to what you see. Playboy has this somewhat interesting show where people send in their videos of themselves having sex. It could be solo, a couple, or a goddamn orgy of such carnage that even I get jealous. Let's face it. Most of us don't look good in bad lighting. Men, with obvious beer guts and a hard-on, look even worse. Oh, is that a pimple on your ass?

Why do guys slap girls' faces with their dicks? Can't figure that one out.

What's nice about watching amateur videos is that it tells you your sex life is not fucked up as much as you might think. People pretty much do it in similar ways. While I have a girlfriend that does not stop once she starts, there is some point where I can stand up and leave her on the floor as dazed as she is. Except, I tend to walk around with claw marks all over my body and a dick dripping so much cum that it takes a lot of kleenexes to clean me up. That is, if you don't mind sticky puddles in your sheets.

There is no perfection. What you see is regular people going at it. There will be those that shave and those that forgot or just don't see any need for a shorn pussy. Small penises will come out of the cave and inch their ways up. Some couples are extremely careful of the furniture by putting towels on the couches and chairs. The funny parts come when the guys have a hard time finding a girl's excitable hole and not the other. It's easy. You slide the penis's head slightly downward right below her asshole. Sex should come with instructions.

How do people do it? To show your most private places found in your body is pretty adrenaline filled. I'm not gonna lie. I have no problem with someone I know quite well watching me fuck. In fact, it's kind of sexy because sex is only natural. You do it. I do it. Well, I hope y'all are doing it because I hate to read that there are people out there with no one to jump on top of and fuck silly.

Unfortunately, there are mistakes that people make in wanting us to see into their sex lives. My favorite was the girl that took pictures of nude self in the bathroom. Lo and behold, right behind her in the toilet was a brown surprise. I get it. Taking an enormous dump makes you feel all sexy, yo. The Internet was at an all-time high in laughter over this infamous picture. That could also be added to the various people that forget to wipe themselves clean before their darkest place is shown. Baby wipes! Baby wipes!

Only ladies. Gawd, what is with you girls, at times? There is only a small percentage of guys that enjoy seeing a woman's most obvious sign of her time of the month, those tampon strings. I was hoping I would go throughout my whole life not seeing one. Damn, I've come across a lot of girls that pose for amateur pictures only there is an obvious string hanging down between her legs. Even an episode of Cinemax show had one that could be seen when the girl gets up off a guy. Man, is it too much to pay for an editor.

If you are daring enough, you can always gross yourself out by watching the infamous 2 Girls 1 Cup video where they........uh.....poop and eat it. Youtube has a collection of people's reactions to the video itself. Sara and her friends talked about this. A few saw the actual video while Sara is not interested. Can you believe that there are guys that masturbate to this stuff?

A show called Sexcetera basically introduces us to sexual things we've never heard of and probably won't experience. Did you know there is completely nude female boxing? New York has an exercise place for those that enjoy being dominated. It's called Slavercise. There is an island devoted entirely to those with money wanting to fuck the most beautiful women. Those brothels in Nevada consist of ugly women. The island has women that will make you cum once a guy reaches shore.

But if I've scared you off from ordering Playboy, it's really the classiest channel when it comes to something that shows sex all day. I don't watch much of the porn movies (unless they star Cassidey, a totally hot dominant brunette with skill) but I love the reality shows. You'll catch people being caught doing anything just to see a tit, a fake porn capital show where one guy walks into the cafeteria with his penis ending up in the buffet line, how a guy tries to change porn into something artsy, tributes to great icons thanks to Hugh Hefner, hot naked girls driving a bulldozer (I kid you not), and 69 sexy things you should do before you die. Playboy really has it all and continues to thrill me with catching up on stuff I've missed over the years. I never knew a naked girl can figure out how to use construction equipment. Good for her!

Gawd, my birthday is so, so close that I'm still nervous.

So, that's pretty much what it is. Yes, I have a life of many other things other than the Playboy Channel. It's just that there are so many shows that catch my eye and keep it there when I get home from work all tired. I mean, with the shit I do, it's nice to see a guy that wrote a letter just to get 5 girls to wash his truck. This means nudity. This also means that the lucky bastard just sits there in a fold-up chair watching as various pussies and titties move around. And I thought I was lucky. Happy twats all around.