Vote Obama, Bee-yotch

"Don't be a dummy. Vote Obama!"

-Me

Wasn't that one of the most beautiful speeches? I'm always critical of politicians when they say all these things in hopes of you voting for them. Mucho ass kissing. How can they do these things while keeping fingers crossed? For 8 years, we have seen jobs leave us to an overseas area where Pablo now answers the phone for questions on how to stop your streams from crossing. I know, I know. Bad Ghostbusters joke. It's just that I watched Obama's speech in complete awe. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING I've constantly harped about was hit. It's time for those wealthy few to allow those that weren't born with silver spoons to enjoy life again and not have to come to work sick and tired all because of losing a paycheck. No one wants to have to choose between work and caring for a sick relative. And can we please put a couple in the White House that looks like they have hot nasty sex!?! People that get laid are much happier people.

I know Sara will come up with a joke or two about a certain gal in love that's totally for 'licking the presidential penis.'

I know Sammy will bitch me out about how great McCain is or could be better. Whatever. I'm just not into being led by an old man with a well-known ability to throw temper tantrums, has never had a payroll, swears he is perfect for leading the military even though most of his time was spent in a cage, marries rich white women, does not know how many homes he owns, and is older than Alaska. You can have him! Those with no heart or love of this country deserve to live on an island with McCain as he whips you on your third job of the day just to make ends meet.

I'm leaving tomorrow. Sara said that it's best to celebrate my birthday early since it's a three day weekend. Of course, that means a major cookout with the gang I've come to feel close to. You would, too, after drinking many beers down in a large basement around a big screen TV. Beer Trek lives on! A shirtless William Shatner makes us all reach for that alcoholic beverage. Even alien women love the manliness of tight Star Trek uniforms.

Set phasers to discreet lovemaking and make it quick, Scotty!

Another reason I am leaving early is because I am calling in sick from work. Boo-hoo. My boss from hell has made his wretchedness known. Fuck him and his need to piss everyone off. What was once a nice quiet place is now filled with my co-workers worn the fuck down. Yes, it's hard work. Yes, it's always been that way but we live under the whip of a little annoying fucktard that doesn't grasp the fact that we need water and pee breaks. Our bathroom time is now monitored.

I can't tell you where I work. Let's just say it's well-known company that prides itself on being a great place to work. Yeah, when our managers actually do something instead of standing around laughing over something said by a co-worker. I saw one guy hurt his foot only to be ordered back to work. I, on the other hand, had to pee fast. The final straw was the cookout for people in the company but not us, not us lowly of the low. Fuck 'em. I'm going to heal my slightly swollen ankle tomorrow by not showing up. If I had felt great about working there, I'd show up with pride. No burger. No Ultrarooster.

This is what makes me so irritated. My manager that pisses me off is tiny. Physically, I look down at him and his little hat. When he has angered me, and it's a lot, it takes a lot of strength to hold back.

I value work. In fact, I love to work in order to keep my mind from racing away. Only, I like working for a company that doesn't lie about how it says it puts its employees first. No, the managers that stand around doing nothing get put first. No freaking out over an upper-level guy that insists on having a cigarette break. We don't get them. We're warned if we get water on a very hot day after burning over 1,000 calories. I don't like being told by one manager that I am great at what I do only to be told I'm too slow by another.

So, have a great weekend. Watch a lot of Playboy Channel if you have it. Get up and exercise. Walk the dog. Teach your kid the value of being kind to others and to take up better eating habits. Pour a little liquor out for your homies. Fuck McCain. And never back down when your boss is an asshole. Happy twats all around.