Not Without My Razor

"You know it by heart. When you start to hear Tom Petty sing 'Free Ballin', that means I am back from Indiana with no undies on."

-Me

Glory be! I am back in one piece. Even after a long day at work where I got yelled at by an incompetent boss, I come around the hard way. There is nothing like driving a little guy nuts over the fact that his words have no effect on you. I'm bigger. My wardrobe costs more than all his materialistic effects. People like me and, gosh darn it, I've got balls bigger than his ears.

Long weekend as usual. Sara and I are not a boring couple. There's always something. For instance, I woke up to find Sara and I accused by her leechy roommate as to whether one of us used her razor. Let me be clear. I picked it up off the wet floor and it might have collected a lot of various hairs. This girl doesn't clean up after herself so someone has to explain that those armpit/leg/pubic hairs are hers and hers alone. I hated having to explain the orange razor's reason for being moved on the bathtub first thing this morning.

Now, if only Sara would stand up a bit to this roommate, especially her need to hog the DVR by saving ALL the fucking tennis games on it and leave her dirty towels on the bathroom floor for the cat to pee on...........

Had a very nice early birthday dinner provided by Sara's mom. I joked about grilled salmon only to have it actually happen along with her amazing mac n' cheese. Left the home feeling like I put on 15 pounds because it all ended with cheesecake, orange icing cheesecake. Trust me. I was a mess as I washed all that down with a Bud Light Lime.

Of course, my birthday isn't til this Saturday. This will be a day of rest so I will be here in town. Great. I feel like I can finally get some sleep because I spent 3 days with nightmares in Sara's bed. Just look at the sweaty sheets I left that poor girl. The nightmares are something I'll tell you about later. They were brought on pretty fast thanks to a conversation I had in a restaurant, my nightmares but Sara's mom's happiness.

Right now, this boy that is totally freeballin' is in the middle of a weird apocalypse movie called Doomsday. The director, Neil Marshall, did some of my favorite horror movies, Dog Soldiers and The Descent. Basically, a whole country is being ravaged by a virus called the Reaper Virus. There's the following movies all blended in to show tribute to, Aliens, Road Warrior, and so on. You'll pick up on what I'm getting at right away. If cannibalistic freaks gets your panties wet, by all means watch Doomsday.

Other than that, I've had quite a laugh at a few comments from Sammy. Sara got a kick out them, too. I'll never understand that kind of thinking but I welcome another side to what it's like to not be on the meds the doctors urge a girl to take.

So, I am outta here, seeing as there will be a much to tell about tomorrow. My nightmares? Easy to discuss. Hard to understand. I'm so wanting to just sleep after a long drive just to get chewed out by an idiot manager. Sure, we make good money. Why can't the business provide people with the type that obtained educations? Happy twats all around.