Drink Heavily

"I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in."

-Me (loved this line from a song in The Big Lebowski's soundtrack)

Did you watch McCain's speech? Nothing really to note. Avoidance of all things we need to know, like how a cranky old man is going to keep us all snug in our homes or out on the streets in boxes the same way he lived in Vietnam after getting captured. Somehow, I think McCain wants us all to feel like a POW.

Funny how McCain said he wasn't going to be dealing with special interests. Lo and behold a bunch of big money paying people got special seats. That's like a girl with fake tits telling a guy to be honest with her.

So, I'm in a bit of a disarray. Work is the usual craziness of having to try and do as much as I can with a guy that enjoys yelling when it's obvious he's the one that should be doing something. Got off early because he's annoyed that his words don't get to me as much. For my new co-workers, I told them not to worry so much. This little line-manager cannot do the firing of employees. It's the good guy I like that will. He likes me. Little line-manager is going to be gone sometime because it's just not possible for someone to think he rules your life through a job.

The other thing on my mind is Sara's asking of me to move in with her next year, possibly August. It's nice to be thought of as someone wanted to keep an apartment's warmth. There's just a few catches. Sara has a few habits that can really wear me down. The other is finding a new job in a tough economy. I may hate my job but, as of now, it hasn't gotten to me just yet. The amount of freedom is important to me.

Sara and I are weird. We argue a lot. Just about every visit ends up with something irritating her or my frustration with her losing her phone/keys/meds/item of importance. There is no definitely perfect moment. I will always have to spend time looking for something or driving back to get something after I had asked her whether she had everything. I'm not kidding on how irritated I am getting at this point. This comes because I am the one that gets yelled at by her over little things while I sit back as she runs around looking for keys.

As for this possibility of moving in, it's up in odds. I'm a bit too depressed to really see things as great. My line-manager has me holding back a large amount of anger within. While there are moments where I can release it in the gym, there are events where I sleep thinking up how great it would be to see a steamroller run him over.

My birthday itself was okay, very low-key due to finances. I'm okay with that because my body is worn the fuck out from work. A part of me misses how great it was in college to find so many people wanting to celebrate your birthday. Done a beer bong of rum? Did that! Lost my footing and cookies in the bar right after. With Sara, I was kind of hoping the whole gang would get together over me, the Beer Trek crew. Maybe I don't know them well enough to warrant such a thing.

For the record, I am not happy that my birthday is this Saturday. I'll be recovering from the latest crap brought on by work.

Do I sound depressed? We've had rain all fucking day and even tonight. While I love rain and how it cools things down, there is a time for it to stop. I walk through a large parking lot to a place I now hate working at and see people with their heads down because of no longer feeling good enough. I need to start drinking heavily. Bud Light Limes, please! Happy twats all around.