Across My Idiotic Issues

"Putting together a website's personal jukebox is hard. Do I put the video of 'Woman Playing Wii Naked' next to 'Cat Using Karate On Dog' or is it best to just let nature take its course? Anything with Elton John is pretty much a wild card."

-Me

Yeah, I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to order around my selection on Dailymotion, a website that collects some great videos that aren't exactly Youtube friendly. I've enjoyed playing around with my tastes in only a limited amount of areas. Yes, there are the obvious sex stuff where the Nintendo Wii forces an amazingly fit woman to forget her clothes but it's all about the weird things that someone in another country find more up their alley. Ya mean they like Bruce Horsnby's "Across the River," too!?!

I thought I was the only one that couldn't get enough of Bruce.

Only one more day of work til I get a nice long rest. I need it. To give you an idea of how bad I am, I didn't attend a workout this morning. That's just not me. What is me is a guy that goes to sleep very sore all over. I may be able to sleep. I may be able to fall hard but that doesn't mean I enjoy all the pain in knowing I have this amazing ability to carry heavy objects for a ridiculous period of time. What I hate is knowing that it starts all over again tomorrow.

My smelly stuff looks like a chemistry set in the bathroom. I'm not kidding. You open the cabinet to find this large row of various liquids that help my long hot bath smell so much better. Today, I got lime. To smell much better all because I realize that the smell of a freshly bathed woman makes me forget all about the pain is what I aim for.

But hey, I smell good! Well, after work is definitely a no-no. After a bath, the whole room smells of lime, orange-ginger, and some things you'd more often find in women's bathrooms rather than this boy's. I love it. Bath & Body Works is a bit on the expensive side but, hey, I'm so worth it. $150 worth of this shit sends my mind into a nice tizzy. Sara says I've gone 'girly.'

Girls, if your ass smells like orange-ginger, you will be laid out on the bed with a nose in between your legs in five minutes flat.

Still wishing I had gone to the funeral. Bastard manager.

Must be off. I've got a graphic novel to read, The Runaways, and hope that my left eye heals. The allergies have irritated it immensely. When this happens, I get so many eye boogers that it's not funny anymore to say the word 'booger.' Did you know a nickname for cocaine is 'booger sugar?' I learned that today. Now get in the tub with some orange ginger and tell your boy to fuck you like an animal. Happy twats all around.