Goddamn Blues Again

"It's the African American versus the Vagino American."

-Bill Maher (describing the Democratic battle)

You know what? I feel so pathetic doing an entry right now. My only excuse is that it's raining and I have grown bored with HBO's Pornoccupia show. If there are so many others, why not show them? A guy can get tired of seeing the same old porn star over and over. Nice try at showing a porn star meeting the camera man only to lose out to a much richer male in the background.

Seriously. I'm always incredibly out of it on Friday nights or even some weekends because I no longer really care to go out. Too old to bar crawl. Too smart for the local pool hall. Sometimes, I miss college life, where the whole ideal was to learn and then discover friends and sexuality. It's only now that with my best friend dead and the other giving himself to Jeezus that I feel like a dope. If you don't understand all this kvetching, you will when all your friends get married and find that as being more important than keeping up with you.

Work sucked. I've had less hours for 3 days in a row. Now, to some people, they'd love to experience that because there just never seems to be enough time to relax. I've got the opposite issue in that I like to work because it takes my mind off of things. You should see the new bruise on my thigh that I didn't feel until tonight.

The worst thing about work is feeling you're not needed. Like a pathetic virgin, I play the little puppy dog in need of attention. It's either the recession taking a toll on us or too many people making things go by too fast. What's weird is that I just started getting so good at what I do, fast and furious, only to be told I get to leave early. What!?! Even one of my co-workers thought that was weird. Walking out of a large building in what feels like the walk-of-shame kind of hurts.

So, you see? Life isn't always perfect for me. I'm laying it out for you in that I go through bad times even if things do seem impossibly great. My mind goes in this little trance where I have to pep myself up again. This is why we need sex in relationships. Come home feeling shitty? Lose that with something kinky. Grab that whip. Get down on all 4's for me to release my sexual urges. Sara usually just grabs me and insists on being held, though.

Maybe I've got politics blues. Sick of being so scared about the possibility of another Republican in the White House.

Again, I miss my old life. I miss having all sorts of friends that I could rely on that lived nearby. No long drives with no stereo in my car. Just a good old fashioned hanging around the big screen laughing over the latest girl issues. Do we really need friends? I'd read a book but it takes me a while to get into that zone for such a thing.

So, I'm outta here as I make my way upstairs while it rains (yet, again) out there. You'd think it's romantic but would end up with me pushing you outside. I'd love to see you hopscotch over all the dog shit on the wooden deck without any light. Been there. Don't that. Happy twats all around.