Gonna Need A Bigger Post

"Smile, you son of a....................*gunshot*!

-Jaws (said right before he blows the shark up)

Wow. One actor I will never ever forget, Roy Scheider, died today. How far back do I go with that guy? A lot. Thanks to having terrible nightmares from watching Jaws at a sleepover for my daycare (Yes, they actually let us watch Jaws, a movie I picked out at the local library for the rented projector), I will never forget the man that got in that final shot to rid the small Island of a rogue serial killing shark. Roy was in a few other flicks like 52-Pick Up, The Jazz Singer, The Punisher, and Romeo Is Bleeding but will always be known as Chief Brody. Even the character's son came close to being eaten when he disobeyed orders to not go sail boating. Always. Listen. To. Dad. When. Shark. Is. Around.

Watching Jaws so young had some nasty effects on me. I may have grown up with a very respectable love of sharks but, to a kid at the age of 8 with blue carpet, the bed was a floating boat. Guess who wants to eat a spoiled kid that just saw his first 'Playboy Magazine' laying on his father's desk? Nightmares were the worst. My mom had to rock me back and forth because I was in hysterics making no sense. Yes, I do remember the nightmares very well. One was where I was swimming with the shark around but couldn't go down enough to finish the bowling rounds my mom was participating in. It doesn't make sense? You should have thought that first when I told you the blue carpet had me thinking it was the sea.

I'm all better now. I hope.

Today, I've learned that 1/4th of a bag of Dorito's Cool Ranch does not help in dealing with various things running in the back of my head. Will Sara like the flowers I'm going to pick up on Wednesday? I cannot stop thinking about wanting to move out of here and start something in Indiana. There's all these signs that say, "Get thee to Indiana, my strange blue-eyed friend." The logical sign keeps me grounded.

"We're in a recession, bitch!"

Yes, obviously, I feel like I'm losing my mind when I try to sleep. It wasn't til well after 2am that I was able to conk out. I'm usually a mess prior to leaving for Indiana. It seems to be the cold weather that makes me unable to believe in myself on anything.

I dunno. The hit on my paycheck kind of gets to me. While I'm not desperate for money in any way, it comes at a time where I started doing even better. No rain or snow to cause allergies that make me sleepy. Even my ex-boss said he was impressed. The other? He told me, too. So, why of all times does all this have to cut into my pride? Weird.

To give you an idea as to how volatile the weather is, I spent a great deal of yesterday's afternoon outside on a walk with 5-Pound Phooey. Barely needed a sweatshirt as we chugged along, pissed off a Pomeranian and its buddy, pooped 4 times, checked p-mail messages on the trees, and walked over a bridge. Today is a whole other story. While I did make it to the gym for my shoulder workout, it is freezing out there! We're going to be below zero in wind chill soon and those turds are now frozen pudding pops.

That would explain the Dorito's Cool Ranch snacking while watching Lindsay Lohan in Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen and VH1's Rock Of Love. It's my pathetic comfort food after another amazing lifting experience in the gym. 307.5 military press!

So, I'll let you go here. I'm a bit too down to go into my usual explanations within my freaked out head. Amazing how the cold air takes away creativity, ability to avoid bad snack foods, thoughts of sex, and a trip down memory lane when it comes to good ol' Mum trying to calm me down about the shark living in my carpet. Happy twats all around.