Locomotive Breath

"You're not fooling me.
Cuz I can see,
the way you shake and shiver."

-Scooby-Doo Theme song

Ever taken a look at yourself from a third-person's point-of-view? I didn't like what I saw in how I looked while playing the Nintendo Wii. It was at the apartment where 3 cats roamed and one of the girls decided to take pictures of us as we played Wii Tennis. Fun game. Fun expressions on people's faces during game play. Is that really me, though? I'm fucking huge and look like I'm ready for some kind of fighting sports. You, me in the octagon, baby. While I may have thick as brick forearms, you and I both know I'm more likely to get all goofy on yo' ass.

I'm just too fucking big! I tried to shrink a bit by lowering the amount of weight I lift. Shoulders being the only area I go all out on. Arms, chest, back, shoulders, and oh how I wish I had known better than to give in to whatever super powers are hidden beneath my skin. I'm just surprised how no one has ever asked me if I am Batman. Mighty Dog would be another one but I'd have to be covered in hair.

Another moment was where I spent some time at the sushi restaurant's bar. I'd had enough of being around so many girls all fucking day. No more vagina discussions. Just me with Carrie's boyfriend and a pack of cigarettes. I found myself hating me again when the boyfriend went over how he's had the same pair of sneakers for 5 years while I sat there knowing my 84 pairs were just plain ridiculous. That was shame. So, yeah, even though I was happy to be talking to a guy, not rambling on and on about various foods on the menu, it just gets to me how I've spent so many years gathering up materialism as if........as if I've gone mental. Took me a while, no?

Trust me. There is beauty in knowing your pathetic faults where you're stuck in the past. Some boys play too many video games. I lust for Air Jordan sneakers.

I know my last entry ended rather abruptly. My computer just plain fucked up last night. My brother's latest porn obsession seems to hurt it a lot. His latest interest, when not looking at various women being cummed on the face, is watching girls poop. It's sad when I have to find out my brother doesn't know how to delete his website history and I have to wonder if he's single because there isn't a gal out there willing to drop trou and leave a steaming pile out in the snow.

I'd also love to get into all that vagina discussion because there was A LOT. Let me tell ya, I am surrounded by women that are very vocal and proud of their pussies. While there are going to be a lot of jealous males out there, it's just all in good fun and being attentive during The Vagina Monologues. One guy tried to get into our little group that night but failed miserably. I'll dish on all that later.

If you talk about the beauty of snow, I will hurt you. That is all on that. I hate this cold. I fucking hate how miserable I feel when that sudden burst of cold air hits my cheeks while walking to my car. We can all be thankful that farts don't end up like our breath in cold weather. Would be kind of awesome for a few minutes, though.

Tomorrow will make it 3 years with Sara. Somehow, she sees something in me that none of my other girlfriends did. I can't even describe myself but all I know is that I'm pretty damn happy with Sara. We took a chance. We've said the dreaded "L" word, had the talk of what would happen if Sara became pregnant (abort the fucker!), had plenty of fights, medical scares, started acting like a real couple where we discuss life instead of what sex position we should try, and start to sleep each night where her head is on my chest. I'm not kidding when I say that the two of us have our best conversations in the shower. All boys are very attentive when their girlfriends have taken it upon themselves to clean the penis. That's a tip, girls. Write that down.

My guess to what's really cool, to me, is seeing Sara perform. No stage-fright. That girl was made to get up in front of 200 to 300 people, something I could do, too. We've both got this need to dominate a crowd no matter how ridiculous Sara and I can be. Of course, I will get into a discussion as to what happened with The Vagina Monologues and all those girls sexily dancing with other girls. I'll admit to being lightly fazed but........

The funny thing is that I now look for just a quiet weekend in Indiana. Haven't had one in a while. Holidays, plays, parties, and various things kind of take a lot of energy out of me. There really is no rest for the wicked, is there?

So, I'll be back with lots to tell. One of the coolest things was when Juanita (the large black woman) came up to me after her performance. How can you not forget an enormous white guy that has a habit of telling his dismay over the DJ's not playing Spice Girls for him? We'll talk pussy soon. I hope. Happy twats all around.