I Had Some Shivers

"I got this ache......and I thought it was for sex but it's to tear everything to fucking pieces!"

-Ginger Snaps

Yeah, I totally get it, Ginger. Man, I've had to spend the whole weekend lying down on my bed watching reality TV, cartoons, and the occasional movie. While some think this is a great thing, I'm not quite sure. The Holy Grail, for me, is to get my hands on a movie from 1982 that will hopefully stop its great theme music from playing in my head.

Again, it's The Legend Of the Lone Ranger from 1982 that keeps playing in my head. After losing all hunger and shaking uncontrollably from the flu, I've become obsessed with seeing this movie again even while thinking I was in the ambush that killed several law officers. Years have passed and I still know that baddie's name by heart, Butch Cavandish. There is something seriously wrong with me, right? Is there anyone else out there that remembers this haunting music?

I'm pretty much over the flu, just have to pick up the pieces by cleaning myself up. My lack of sleep has me feeling weak. 150 push-ups just cannot cut it. Well, that's a given when FX is playing The Punisher and Tom Jane really put in the work to make me jealous. My dream, to be big and strong all while keeping myself as a teddy bear inside. At least, I was pinned to the bed watching a movie where a man's family was run over by a truck in order to get him to rid Miami of it worst Italian mafia acting by none other than John Travolta.

Mum's sick, too. The weird thing in all this is that one of the dogs has joined in by having massive diarrhea the past 3 days. Not mine. 5-Pound Phooey has no problems with her little ass. She's just mad at me for the haircut I gave her.

So, I've seen The Punisher, King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters, all of disc 1 for The New Adventures Of He-Man, The Assassination Of Jesse James, and Rikki Tikki Tavi. It's a very tragic consumption of tastes. On one hand, you have what I grew up with, He-Man and Rikki Tikki Tavi. The other, my obsession with manliness, The Punisher and Jesse James. King Of Kong is a must see to watch nerds get so obsessed with thinking themselves gods while playing 8-bit arcade games like QBert. In this particular case, we have 2 guys playing against each other in Donkey Kong and it is viciously funny. While one guy, a family man, decided to take on the highest score since 1982, the holder of that record did a lot to stop him. King Of Kong is a true documentary that will draw you in to cheer for the good guy, the family guy, over the bad guy, Bill, who won't play in front of a crowd. This all sounds funny to you? Rent it. It's worth it to see how retarded guys can get and find themselves in a situation where he has to ask himself one question:

"Do I help my kid wipe his ass or do I beat this game?"

So, I'm going to endeth here as I am hoping tonight will be my first real sleep. Maybe I'll get an appetite. Maybe I'll start thinking of sex again. The flu does more damage to my mind than you want to know. Happy twats all around.