An Orgasm For Me And You

"Look at all that shines.
Baby's down on the world and she knows it.
If your spirit's running,
why don't we make it rain like we used to?"

-INXS's "Elegantly Wasted"

A weird thing happened today where I was wondering how I'd do something here on Blogger. Would I tell y'all about my gym's very amusing scandal-plagued times? It's best done if you attend and see whom I am talking about. You'll find me jumping up and down motioning for you to come over to where I'm standing. How do you find me? I'll be the one in an old t-shirt without the sleeves and majorly long basketball shorts. Always Air Jordan. Always.

So, we've got one of our trainers being arrested for not paying child support. That was last summer to start us off on scandals. Many women complained about him hitting on them while trying to work out. It was only tonight that I found out why 2 police officers took our trainer away. Having 3 to 4 kids is expensive for a black man, yo.

Next, we have 2 bodybuilders upset over something I still do not understand. The former owner, Kevin, took off over money issues. The other? A devoted follower of Kevin's. Good riddance to the follower for he was hated by everyone. Yes, some bodybuilders do actually allow their arrogance to grow by leaps and bounds.

Finally, we have a trainer that decided to allow himself many pickings in the litter. 3 or 4 women were getting some 'attention' after their workouts. Said women found out and dude was fired. I kind of knew that this guy, a fireman on the side, was up to something. Every night before the sessions, he would take the time to watch every girl in the gym. If the guy could wear binoculars to ogle every tiny portion of panties, camel toe, titty flying all over the place, or a hint of whomever was not wearing panties, he would have. It was almost like a classic 80's modeling pose where he'd put his foot on the bench and stare. Major ladies' man. But I wonder why does his personal life have him being fired.

So, ladies of the gym.....you are being watched whether you know it or not. If you don't like the color of your panties being known, wear long shorts. If you don't like the fact that someone has seen the top of your thong, wear something that stays put. Stop complaining, enjoy your tits and ass, and realize your own stupidity. I'm not. I don't care if someone knows I'm wearing black Calvin Klein's today or the hill of my balls as I lay down on a bench. Big-balled and proud.

Busy all day today thanks to the second-to-last erotic photography book coming in. The final one is not out til April but if you want to take a peak at my taste, it's Richard Kern's 'Looker.' After reading a little bit about his taste in nudity and models' poses, I'm not so sure. Female urination just doesn't excite me. Love the taboo stuff every now and then but pissing just doesn't grab my heart.

Since it is close to Valentine's Day and I will definitely not be here, I'll do what I did to make my Human Sexuality teacher laugh. We're weird souls and have a tendency to talk graphically about sex in the middle of the halls during college. One day, I walked right up to her and asked her to describe an orgasm. That one caught her off-guard. Just how the hell do you come up with words to tell someone that feeling you get when someone's touched your 'magic buttons?'

"It's like a sneeze in the loins."

That's what I said. Don't quote me personally because I got that from a writer back then. Damned if I remember who it was. The point is that I loved one of the best descriptions of what it is like to orgasm. You love it. Don't deny it. It's a part of why we enjoy cuddling up to someone in bed. They just fucked the holy hell out of us.

The most orgasms I've ever had in a 24-hour period would be 8. That's all Kristan and I did when she introduced me to sex. Her house was one of ill-repute because we never bothered putting our clothes back on. Just fucked and fucked again. By the time we got around to the 8th, my cock was shooting saw dust out. No more. Each orgasm got less powerful or barely felt. The sheets and room reeked of semen. This is what happens when you take a boy's virginity. I'm looking at very experienced girls that practically rape a poor guy just out of high school. Yeah, 29 versus 19 can teach a whole lot o' things in bed.

But can you describe your own orgasm? I know for a fact when I'm going to cum since there is this slight tingle in my balls that warns me. "Things are stirring, master." That's a definite way of putting things. There are so many tubes that semen travels through to find its way out. Have you ever taken a look at a diagram of all this? Orgasms are more fascinating than you think. For us males, we have to be able to counter your pussy's self-cleaning acidic liquids or sperm would die instantly. While some might say that sperm dying is good, others would like to create miserable little heathens. It's no surprise that I think people should have a license to breed.

The more semen, the better the orgasm. Simple as that. I create a lot, a side-effect of having large testicles, by the way. Score! I can feel that unique sensation build up so heavily that there is no return. I *think* ejaculation is clocked at 25-miles per hour. Even though it comes out the same hole, it's a lot different than pissing. Oh, lordy! 2 to 3 explosions and the rest just drips out for what seems like an eternity. Don't you love sex? Sometimes, I get a little annoyed with how messy it gets when I'm handed the kleenex box by a fascinated Sara.

It always weirds me out how there are always people that think sex is filthy or disgusting. It's in our nature to fuck. I cannot imagine being with someone that doesn't enjoy it. To achieve orgasm, it's like a dance. You make a move and I will follow your lead or just the opposite. There is beauty in how it all leads to the penis sliding into whatever hole is presented to him. I've never done anal so I have no clue as to the difficulty of pressing myself into such a tight hole.

My ex, Kristan, told me to never stop seeing the orgasm as something to consume. She always swallowed because it was her belief that she was taking in my life-force. I'll admit that it is quite erotic to watch a woman drink my cum or even flip the head of my cock around with her tongue as I drip. One of my favorite porn images of all time was a picture in Penthouse. A guy received a blowjob in the desert. Boring. It was the sight of a silhouette where the woman's tongue is underneath his cock collecting the large drop of cum dripping out that got to me. You really don't need to say such a thing about tasting a woman to a pussy eater like me. I'm a sloppy tongue gotta lick that thing for a good while type o' guy.

Obama's winning! Everybody do the Obama dance now! You just cannot sit there when the good guys are winning. Shake it hard to the left and then to the right. When you're too poop'd out, get out your lighter and drunkenly slur whatever comes to mind when you feel enlightened. It's kind of like when you see that bumper sticker that reads, "My kid can beat up your honor-roll kid."

So, I hope you enjoyed reading this. Yes, things get messy. Yes, it can be dirty but you have to go to the gym. Oh, you thought I was talking about orgasms still? Those, too! The dirtier the sex, the better it can feel. Tomorrow's all about going to the Post Office for a certain someone (*wink wink*), packing for Indiana, and being a cool collected cat about this fucking coldness sweeping the midwest. Happy twats all around.