It's Official. I'm Nuts.

"I've got Spring Fever and it isn't even Spring."

-Me

So, do you feel it? I've been in a joyous mood for the past few days ever since I started coming home while there is still light out. No more mopiness that can only be dealt with by a nice session in the gym. No more snow to avoid as I take that long walk through the parking lot at work. No more shivering as I wait for the car to warm my delicate fanny. Nah, I'm so happy that I barely even notice that work has worn me the fuck out.

For me, it is Spring and I'm in love with it. Everything has been going so swell that I cannot fathom going back to that gloom and doom person I was weeks ago. The flu? Forgotten. Lost 15 pounds? Ah, I'll get 'em back. Let's throw open the windows and take our toned naked bodies to be placed in front of them as we show off what avoiding McDonald's can do.

In our house, the best way to know it's Spring is when we spend a whole day cleaning. My room is so immaculate because I keep it that way. Still, I get dust so that's gone. Most of the house has been vacuumed and dusted. Most of the deck has been cleared of all the piles of dogshit, something that melted snow seems to remind us of. I'll be back out there tomorrow to finish the corner that is very difficult to deal with since turds are all over that you cannot stand anywhere. Clothes have been washed. Old magazines have been thrown out. I spent the morning walking 5-Pound Phooey because it was too nice to just sit there. Why do people want to spend a day where it's not excessively hot just sitting there watching TV?

My closet? Going to give away old clothes because this recession has hit the town hard. A place that helps the poor has had to turn away a lot of their old customers and cut back on the money given to them. Can you survive on $150 a month? The guy interviewed said it's super hard but that's what he has to do now since less money has been given to the agency. My first thought on the large woman in charge interviewed was, "Gee, she sure is eating well. Maybe she should share to help eliminate her personal obesity problems."

Yahoo! has a headline that made me laugh. "Most economic experts think we are already in a recession." Duh. I've never seen it this bad but good things have come out of it. More people are walking. This is a rarity, to see people go to work by walking those 4 or 5 blocks instead of taking the SUV. They might look like zombies because it's the first time their asses have ever been exercised. That's a good thing. Public transportation is up 50%. I've also seen more carpooling than ever.

Been a while since I've sat down to watch a movie and wanted to finish it straight-thru. Loved Hitman because it's a total guy movie. It's basically a movie that takes after a video game. Never played the game but I'm a sucker for something where the guy can wield 2 .45 caliber pistols, dress to impress, and kill with a passion. Oh, yeah, there is that gorgeous naked model, Olga, that has one of the nicest ass scenes ever. Since when does a woman whom just met a killer go to bed wearing nothing but a tiny thong? Total. Guy. Movie. Fucking. Loved. It.

Not surprisingly, Richard loved Hitman as well. Then again, he's single and living off of Playboys so anything like that will work.

"Ultrarooster, are you okay?
Ultrarooster, are you okay?
You've been shot down by a smooth criminal."

So, how are things with you? I'm just a happy-as-hell motherfucker. I'm getting back to training 5-Pound Phooey for her walks. It's nice that she's too poop'd to drive me nuts at night but I miss that, too. That little bulge in her belly has got to go so off to start fights with dogs, cats, and squirrels. Fuck shopping. Live in the park instead. Happy twats all around.