Jeb, You Holding?

"For those about to rock...."

-My AC/DC t-shirt being worn now

I'm definitely in love with my AC/DC shirt that resembles something you'd find in the 70's. It's not just the style but how I enjoyed it when those boys ripped up the stage with some major guitar usage. Angus Young in the schoolboy outfit? Beautiful when combined with that move where he continued playing. You know it by heart if you love rock. Dirty deeds done dirt cheap. Come on!

I'm dogdamnit tired. Nothing new there where I spend 5 days a week in what would make me think I work out 5 hours a day. Runs the bones ragged. Gives me a very fast metabolism where nothing sticks. Body built like a racehorse yet somehow, somehow I find myself feeling like I'm as old as dirt. Or possibly as old as the pile of dog shit that somehow lived through the storm on your front lawn.

In less than 2 weeks, I have to take care of Sara's friend's dog, a small Yorkie. Looking forward to it even if the owner makes it seem like the dog needs more than the usual walk/eat/sleep/shit kind of thing. Sara's nervous about taking care of the dog while I know all this by heart. Having 4 Yorkshire Terriers is easy when you tell 'em who's boss. Mine needs a walk and some Scooby Doo to get her calmed down.

Been wondering just how I am going to get those 2 Playgirls into Bald-O's bathroom reading stack of mags. The usual Sports Illustrateds are there along with some Maxims. Boys tend to have boring reading material while women have it even worse. I've come across Cosmopolitans, obviously, along with far too many magazines designed for women to make them think their homes or wardrobes just aren't good enough. The funny thing is that Sara has thrown a whole new wrench into the argument by having the sign language book as the main source of entertainment if it's gonna be a long night on the throne.

In all my life, I have never seen a Playgirl. Scouts honor. While there have been moments where I walked into the magazine section of Barnes and found a small squad of teenage girls giggling over pictures in it, that's as close as I've gotten. I'll admit to being curious as to how guys pose in Playgirl. Dicks out? Hard or soft? Holding it or just letting it speak for itself? Squirting cum? Peeing? It's always been my thing to know what it is that turns on women when it comes to us guys getting all nakey-nakey. While I'm used to hearing Sara tell me all the little things she loves about my penis, it's still a major want in knowing what kind of girl picks up a copy of Playgirl.

So, I thumbed through. Actually, Sara went through them first, remember? I had a cat sitting on my stomach while my girlfriend decides to look through the stack of porn. Playgirl is boring. I was hoping that, in some ways-the good ones, it would be the opposite of Playboy, my sometimes favorite magazine. The articles weren't worth much of a read. Guys just stood there with their dicks out, either holding or earth's gravity gave 'em a hand. Is this what turns on women? What made me laugh was the poses, totally JCPenney catalogs from the 80's. That's right. You, too, should lay on your side while your weiner flops on the side of your big muscular thighs. Would you believe that Playgirl does a Hustler-like action? They ask for guys to send in nudes of themselves. I'm sure a lot of women, after looking at 6-pack abs, want to see an old geezer with balls down to his knees on a motorcycle.

Then again, it could be my de-sensitivity towards porn itself. It's boring. While it was such an excitement when I was young, seeing gyno pictures of pussies just doesn't do it for me anymore. There are exceptions when it comes to beautiful women like Andi-Pink, an Internet model that is...*gasp*.....so beautiful along with her perfect looking pussy and asshole. It's just that Sara helped point out how it's the same thing. Blond girl with brunette. Asian with blond. Redhead with blond. The poses are dull with boring backdrops to the point that I'd bet that a non-blond real girl next door would liven anything up.

Don't get me wrong. I love looking at pussies and assholes just as much as the next guy. Hell, I got a laugh at the sight of large white women posing like some sort of bloated animal staring up at a Twinkie on a stick, even if this is not something I'd pick up. Ever. I can see why Penthouse took the risk of putting in pictures of women peeing a while back. This act is so risky but soon everyone else added it. Only even that got boring. How many times must we see a woman squat as a stream of piss makes its way out between her legs. Yes, it can be erotic at times when done right but the mystery and beauty fades when the theme is used too often. If a woman did that in front of me, I'd be sure she wiped before I fucked her. Remember my ex, the drunk? Pee stains in panties smell like ammonia when there for too long and we all know how it gets when you drink too much in the bar.

Still, pee pictures are boring. How about themes where everyone pretends they are on a sexualized version of Incredible Hulk? Hulk mad? No, Hulk horny! Horny Hulk need good fuck.

Playgirl could have a gay version of The A-Team. Think B.A. would allow Murdock's 10-inches while Face licks a young guy's ass that needed saving?

You know what? I leaveth you here. I'm bored or going too far in placing too many weird images in my own head. Sara mentioned threesomes again because she's got another idea as to who should join us. Definitely an interesting thought, too. Also a good image when receiving a very lovely blowjob on Saturday night. Happy twats all around.