No Drool But My Own

"So."

-Dick Cheney's response to a poll that found 2/3 of Americans want us out of Iraq

Don't you love those that are supposed to serve and protect our interests? It's really all about making themselves richer or their buddies much better off. Dick Cheney and all those around him have made so much money from this war in Iraq that I keep wondering what the whole thing was about. Surely, it wasn't about Saddam. It sure as hell can't be about the Iraqi people because most are still without food, water, and electricity after years of being taken over by our troops. How can someone sit there in an interview and say, "So?"

Well, not much to report in the sweat zone. We're still drippin' like an overheated behind the scenes porn marathon that's gotten out of hand. All t-shirts must be peeled off thanks to an air conditioning problem that has yet to be corrected. Dogs sleep on their backs with bellies facing the sky dreaming of ice cream and fancy butts to sniff.

As you know, Sara and I will be doggy sitting for a couple leaving on a cruise for a whole week. It's mostly about the little dog, a Yorkie just like mine. For me, it weirds me out to have someone overtake your house. Embarrassing fridge contents? Horrifying reading material? Well, if you say Cheetos and the bible, things like that should be put away. No child or adult should be harbored with such violent orange material.

When I asked Sara where the two of us were sleeping, she told me it would be the couple's bed. Not completely keen with sleeping on someone else's bed. Hated that in college where someone's friend was found curled up in my bed. People have skin peelings that come off. We drool. My pillow should be a certain way. Girls fart in their sleep so I have to be able to block that dark cloud with a fast movement of something that will block the smell while I giggle.

Of course, this means I have my own pillow. While I'm not happy with sleeping in another couple's bed, I guess it's all for the little dog. He has a special blankie and squeaky toys to accompany him. Whatever gets you through the night. I don't even know if I will be up for sex all due to 2 little dark eyes wondering why I am throwing a smaller person around. Large dogs understand such behaviors. Little ones think that it might mean some sort of person has been very naughty by doing something stinky on the rug.

Ever had a small dog? There's a ramp for the little guy to join us on the bed. We have a few here for ours, all 4 of them. The central bed is his playground, complete with blankie and toys as I said. How am I going to actually sleep? I used to take naps with mine long ago until they got too noisy. This little dog is pretty protective and ready for all cars and walkers.

Oh, but there is a nice bathtub! Finally, I can lay in a mass of hot water like the pathetic heathen I claim to be! I am boy. Let me soak. While showers are fun, I'm more along the lines of a bath type of person. You would understand after all the soreness I get from the gym. Hot water. Get in. Lay with arms out on the sides. Relax. There's no doubt that Sara's going to try and join me because we hate bathing alone. The best conversations happen when we clean each other's naughty parts. How boring are you to not have your mate wash you?

Plus, we're going to an Obama fundraiser. Take that, all you Hillary supporters! I've been reading about the types of people that vote for certain people. A large amount of Mexicans voted for Bush. Britney Spears said we should support him, too. Guess what? A lot of Mexicans are for Hillary. It's been noted that they're kind of slow, like how McCain's supporters are just laying it on thick that a Republican with the same ideals as Bush should be back in the White House. The dim-witted Catholics were out in force for Hillary as well. Did they ever stop to think that the pope should have actually done something about the sex abuse?

We had a major politician come here to give a speech for a class. He supports Obama just like a lot of the others that I would deem quite smart. I guess it's just those of us that take into account the politician's actions rather than listening to lies. When a reporter asked Obama a question about Iran, he told him that he'd like to finish his breakfast. Hillary would have gone off on how there was a possible sniper that would steal her waffle.

So, I'm outta here as I test the waters of living with a female for 4 straight days. No roommate so I get to walk down the hall with morning wood needing to be relieved of its misery! It's like it just leads me to where it needs to go and I follow. I'm sleeping on my pillow. No older person drool to sicken me. Just my own. After karaoke, there will be peace and quiet with a hot bath. I know I'm asking for a lot because with women there will be no peace. Happy twats all around.