Bottomless Party

"Do you, like, sit quietly or does your mother have to give you candy to keep you from squirming?"

-Me (What I asked my boss when he flaunted his haircut today)

Weird start of a day. I got kissed by a girl and it wasn't Sara. Apparently, my friend from Brazil that I have not seen in the gym for some time missed me. Yeah, little ol' me in the Best Buy parking lot gets the greeting that confuses us Americans. Do we kiss the cheek back as well? I'm always lost on this.

All this reminds me of what I miss about my gym, the old gang. You can take the Brazilian girl, add Slutwatcher, Kim, Gay Nick, and so on that made the drippings of sweat so much better. Now, it's become a place of focused boredom. The Brazilian girl would listen to me talk of various things that drove me nuts when it came to Sara. Slutwatcher would try to distract me by telling me which college girl had her legs open enough that he could see the color of her panties. Kim, going through the boredom of no longer having a husband, would make me laugh with tales of her cock sucking skills being put to no use. Gay Nick would tell me which celebrities were hiding the fact that they were gay. I miss my tales of what went on in the gym.

There's really not much to tell you. I'm sleeping so much more thanks to the unbearable heat. All t-shirts end up being peeled off me before I find myself enjoying the sweet, sweet feel of the hot water taking away the day's sweat. I lose so much water everyday that I no longer am able to wake up at my normal times.

I'll give you an idea as to how hot the conditions I deal with begin in the first 5 minutes at work. Since you do not have balls and have not experienced the feeling of having to peel them off your thighs like I do, I'll do this. Yes, there is a reason 'hot as balls' is used by us males to warn other males. Let's say you have walked in the woods wearing super tight dark jeans. The weather is extremely hot at 110 degrees, the humidity is unbearable to the point that you wouldn't care if you exposed your breasts to the local small town folk with shotguns, and meanwhile thanks to being lost in the woods, you left a nice little explosion behind the bush thanks to the Taco Bell you had earlier. Yeah, that asshole itches like hell with combined icky feeling between your legs where you wouldn't want your boyfriend's face near there unless he's a mindless smelly-pussy-eating-zombie thanks to losing all his sense of smell but you have to keep going or you will die. That's how I feel when I'm at work.

Ah but it rained. Lordy, lordy was it great to know rain came down hard tonight. Would have preferred it happened this afternoon but beggars can't be choosers.

I've learned that not paying so much to politics can help. As they say, 'ignorance is bliss.' All that bullshit back and forth from those evil Republicans upset that Democrats finally have a say again just gets to a young feller like moi. There's only so many floodings. tornadoes, celebrities caught drunk driving, and spoiled athletes a guy can take when it comes to getting his news. Don't make me sad. Make me glad with a good old shark attack that got that mean ol' fisherman with no respect for the sea.

So, I endeth your mindless entertainment here after watching the sequel to Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. While the first is a very good classic stoner movie with heart that showed us the stereotypes of being brown and Asian, this one was not quite up to par with that. Why oh why do people lose their ways when it comes to a good quality sequel? Batman Begins's sequel, The Dark Knight, was a beautiful film in bringing us to a world where even the good guys find out that their trying to protect the innocent can also bring out the worst in people. Harold & Kumar only had one thing, a 'bottomless party,' where, you guessed it, all people attending must not wear shoes, socks, panties, and pants. Lovely to see a beautiful girl answer the door in what looks to be an amazing job on trimming her pubes. I'd drop to my knees to reclaim any part of my spirituality and thank thee for bringing back some of the bush. Then again, the reality part of me would hope everyone placed a towel before sitting down on the furniture. Happy twats all around.