My Bod And Soul

"I'm probably one of the few people to get emotionally sad when he hears a large shark has been caught."

-Me

I hate it when I see fishermen surround a large shark hung up on a hook. Yeah, I know it's all about boys being boys on whose got the bigger dick. I get it. It's just that with overfishing in the ocean and the beauty of great whites/makos/hammerheads/bulls/nurses, there is no need to tell everyone to look at what you brought out with your fishing gear. First of all, sharks give up easily because their energy is not like a human's. Your only problem after wearing this amazing animal down in a matter of less than an hour is getting it into the boat. A 25-footer can weigh well over 1,000 pounds so it's not all about expertise. There is no Jaws. It's a fictional tale, a serial killer shark. Leave them alone so our ocean can continue to thrive.

Gawd, I hate that. It was a California fisherman that caught a very large mako shark that got me in a small fit of rage. I'm probably the only person that would smile if he had fallen in only to get bitten. Lose a leg. Save a shark.

Today, I don't like my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's nice having below 10% bodyfat. Yeah, it's nice to be looked at and hear Sara say, "Did you hear what they said about your arms!?!" My favorite moment would be when Sara and I had dinner together that ended up with a teenager about to get up and start something with me but took one look at my bulging forearms. He sat right back down. Thanks to my birthday coming up, I'm wondering if I should just enjoy what all my insanity in a gym has brought.

My bones creak, yo. I'm tired of buying my Calvin Klein button downs in size XX-Large because my arms barely get through an X-Large. I'd rather be relaxed than worry about how I'm going to handle that bar with 3 plates waiting for me at the gym. In other words, my change in workout has resulted in me wanting to change everything else.

You want to know how to really workout? Go to exhaustion on each set. Do this for 4 or 5 exercises on different areas of muscle. Biceps and back one day. Chest and triceps the next. Your body will melt fat so easily if you follow this format by going crazy for 4 to 6 days a week. It's weird how I am taking on this new form of push-ups with such gusto. Sara and her dad like to ask me about how I can descend down between 2 weights turned upward. No one I know does it. No one I know can handle it.

For once, Obama irked me. Another stimulus package!?! Are you fucking nuts!?! Our drunken idiot of a president already did one that shouldn't have been done in the first place. $300 does nothing. The smart ones put it in savings. The idiots went out and bought designer clothes. Obama, I still love you so we'll forget about this little boo-boo.

Somehow, I've gotten over trivial conversations in the gym. Spent time talking about getting shots for my cat allergies back when I had cats here. No sports. No pussy. No laughing at farts. It was all about how bad I feel when I spend time around cats. Or more exact, it's the saliva we're allergic to.

So, I'm going to head on up to go through my nightly ritual of falling asleep to various porn channels. I'd try others but their programming is so boring these days. The only one of note was this weird flick called 'Definitely, Maybe' with Ryan Reynolds. It's okay but where do you find kids with this much knowledge so soon? If all children came like that, I'd be fine with someone that had more than 2 kids. As soon as their out of the womb, it's right to work for these kids. Careers begin at the age of 7. Cell phones must be earned and not given out like candy, dammit. Happy twats all around.