Just Give You One Mic

"Weird pussies"

-One of the common searches that my blog comes up on

Just what the hell is a 'weird pussy?' Is it the outer lips being an odd color? Size? What of the inner lips? Too much like a sea monster about to break free from its shell? I've seen a lot of vaginas/pussies/cunts but not many that I'd define as 'weird.' Every girl is different when it comes to what she is packing between her legs just as any guy suddenly unzipped will show a girl something different than the last cock in her face. Some penises curve while others are straight as an arrow. My ex, Jen, loved how the veins on a penis are placed, wiggly or solidly straight. Some people have too much time on their hands when it comes to using computers at work.

Black girls as ugly? This one is new to me because I got into a little discussion with my deaf co-worker that didn't quite finish. I noticed that he was watching a very beautiful black girl walking to her work area. Nice face and body. My co-worker then used sign language to state that she was fine so I asked him what his definition of this was. According to him, a beautiful black woman is one that doesn't have the darkest of skin but a 'light brown.'

I've always found skin color odd to discuss. Black people were black. White people were white. Indians are brown. Mean old people are shriveled up shrews. Life is simple again. Can we go back to it?

I'm getting the gist that black people with the the darkest of skin are not quite as attractive as those that have a lighter skin tone. Mind you, this is coming from a black guy with very dark skin. Does my co-worker need a beatdown in the worst way? Or is he right? I've very rarely seen a black guy with a woman this is just as dark as he is. Many black guys seem to go for white women of the large variety, namely ass or tits, while many white guys avoid these types of women. According to my other black co-worker, it's all about that A-S-S. When you push your dick in there, it's gotta have some sweet cushion to slam into.

So, can we get an honest account of how weird all of us are?

I'm white. In fact, I'm so damn white that much of me could be considered a ghost since there is a lot of paleness. I once got called "Mike, The Friendly Ghost" by a girl I once had a major crush on. It's been stuck on me ever since and even Sara brings up things like that. No melanoma on me, ma. Apparently, I'm still attractive since the girl I work with that likes to feel my chest up is black.

I dunno. It's a weird thing how I've suddenly had to rethink things when it comes to attraction. What does it for you? I'm always curious as to why people sleep with a certain 'type.' It's not too far off to say that a lot of girls go for guys that remind them of their dads. Sounds creepy but it's more along the lines of security. Dads always made their little girls feel safe and snug at night. If not, there's a .45 and a shovel for any asshole with an erection.

When I go to a shooting range with Sara's dad, I will make sure he doesn't bring a shovel.

So, I will be away this weekend. Friday is going to start out with those of us not invited to a wedding. 4 in all. Doesn't matter because it's over an hour away, it's hot as hell, and we don't know the people as well as the others doomed to sit with very religious. If there is an open bar, I can forget about the pain from listening to how great this Jeezus guy is.

Forget the water to wine. Can he give boners to those that desperately need them instead of having to rely on sports for entertainment?

I'm hoping Batman is on for this weekend somewhere. There is also a possible family affair I must attend with Sara that takes place in Chicago. I love meeting family because it seems like I end up in a corner with Sara making comments over weird things. Last time, I learned I am very good at putting a spoon on my nose. Yes, my Batman t-shirt is packed up and ready to be worn by the male with a bit too much in the pectoral department (I am still working on shrinking these babies, though). Have fun, kids. To those of you with the Playboy Channel, like me, try out some of those positions no matter how ridiculous those amateurs look. Watching a penis thrust in and out of a wet vagina does get tiring to look at. Instead, use it as a mic on karaoke night. Go wild with some "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All!" Happy twats all around.