And We Are Now Topless!

"Let's get sweaty!"

-Semi Pro

That's starting to be my motto each morning here. When 8pm rolls around, every article of clothing in a drenched state is clinging to me. Work is just to start, then it's off to the gym, but it's only after I get back from walking 5-Pound Phooey that I can peel things off of me. It used to be that I hated all this but am now getting used to it all. Maybe the heat can be a good thing. Makes the bath water look a lot more interesting as I lay there taking in its soothing massages.

Had an interesting walk today. Due to the early sudden 2-inches of rain that fell, pretty much the whole lake flooded. Fascinating to look at. Horrible to cross because I couldn't finish the route unless I got a little wet. Yuck. Walked into the smallest portion of lake all while wearing my old Air Jordan 5's. 5-Pound Phooey, very unhappy, used a small amount of swimming ability. I knew my dog has talents and talks a lot of trash but that was new. Wouldn't mind it if a small fish came up and bit her on the ass.

Oh, and for those of you that have read me for a long time, yes, it's the season where I go for walks topless. The jaw dropping started the day I started. Who knew that a man's nipples can excite the ladies like that? With a pectoralis (chest, dummy) like this, there is no way I am running. Baywatch for women is not what I'm about. Then again, 5-Pound Phooey would tell you that a part of this is because of her fancy new 'do.

Go ahead, I love to bring about this idea that I have no shame. I'm in a good mood. You see, the sex with Sara last time was so good I can't wait to make her pussy see stars again. Summer brings a weirdness in me. While the allergies annoy here and there, the blood flows throughout me so well that I've got a need to release all this sexual energy. Since Sara is pretty much a nymphomaniac, she loves to take it all in as it cums. Gas prices might have something to do with it, too, since no one wants to fill up to go someplace. Just fuck.

But then there are the things that bring us back to reality. The nerve of having to get oil changes. This is one thing I absolutely hate, getting an oil change. There's more to it than just that thanks to this place I go to and I only like to keep my car in as good of shape as I can keep it before dumping it in 2 or more months. Yeah, I've got plans that have me never paying for gas again thanks to Volkswagon.

If you are a fan of black humor, might I suggest Showtime's Weeds? Hilarious here and there with a weird way of bringing you in fast. Years ago, a little-known show called Veronica Mars made me its bitch all thanks to one episode. Weeds did that, too, and I fell in love with our suburban widow turned weed dealer that could, Nancy. You see, Nancy has a tendency to get herself in a lot of trouble all thanks to the family and friends around her. Various people want into all the money making or they're there to blackmail her. I've always been a fan of humor that doesn't sit well with the aging group of blowhards that think life is about doing the right thing all the time. How can you not see the humor in a brother losing his toe to a dog only to become a porn star for a certain variety of foot fetish people that like those with less than 5 toes on a foot? An orgasm just isn't possible with more than 4, dammit! Does a scary Eskimo do it for you? How about if he's a bounty hunter that leaves a 12-year-old at a convenience center with the keys to a van?

Yeah, I bought Weeds Season 3 today at Best Buy. Had to. My dad and I are nuts about it all while salivating at the 4th one coming up. Is it okay to be impressed that your girlfriend recognizes the porn star Lexington Steele and his 13-inch dick? Well, he makes a guest appearance.

So, I hope that does it for you tonight, folks. I've got another 3 days of sweatiness to roll me out of the week. Hoping that Sara got a job. What else? I smell good right now. Finished X Rated Bloodsuckers and am now on Kama Sutra Of the Undead. It's not exactly a porno vampire book series but one where the private-eye just so happens to be one. It helps when your partner wants to try out all the positions just to see you reach for an ice pack to place on your crotch afterwards. I've had that happen before. Not going there. Happy twats all around.