It Was A Me Day

"This place is a madhouse, feels we're being cloned!"

-'Twilight Zone' by Golden Earring.

I took a Me Day. Congratulate me. It's a rare thing for me to do, take time out for myself where the gym is not involved. No push-ups. No sit-ups. Nothing that involves a sweaty me looking like I am fucking some sort of invisible woman with a hell of a pussy.

It's just one of those days, huh? Well, you might take the day off of work because you're tired but that's just not me. A Me Day involves some sort of relaxing all while continuing to keep the blood pumping. Sure, there is still a walk or two with 5-Pound Phooey wanting to get smacked by a cat or chewed out by a dachsund. It's just that all that is easy for me. Put it to you this way. While it might be difficult for you to lift a 25 pound object, it's nothing for me. What I cannot seem to do is let myself rest. Ever.

Last night itself was a disaster. I couldn't sleep with all the potential excitement coming up during the 4th. Sara's birthday is the 2nd but I'll be stuck at work. It's Thursday night where it all begins. Have to bring flowers but no presents. Cash is what she needs to help get her out of the hole of having to pay off that Mac computer she got for Christmas. I must say that a Mac looks pretty damn nice since we also watch movies on it. No longer are we in need of binoculars when using the TV's DVD player instead.

Bald-O and Sara will get along. It's putting her in the middle of an enormous family get-together that might strike fear. People down south celebrate the 4th a bit bigger. Everyone comes to eat. Bald-O's parents have friends from grade school that come and bring some major cooking. Kids from various families that I would have sworn were 5 the last time I saw them will run all around me. You see a lot of aging when you show up after months away.

Life is pretty cool down south. Might be hotter. Might be more close-minded. Might not see a black person for miles. It's just that you'll never find a nicer family that insists you eat til you're stuffed, allows you to fart, and is okay with being too drunk to fish.

If you need to know, Sara's a city girl. Life is best lived downtown where a quick walk means Border's or a local fave restaurant is nearby. No driving in all different directions only to end up at Wal-Mart. I cannot imagine having to shop at a place that has taught me to hate conformity. While walking through that place with Bald-O, we almost always come across someone we know from the town. With only 600 people for the town's population, you kinda expect that like how easy it is for someone to know who knocked up Betsy-Jo.

As if you need to know, I finally got my issue of Playboy! What took so long? It used to be the first week of the month, a Friday, that it would come. Then, it started the second week. Now, it's the third!?! Ugh. It's no wonder the magazine is going downhill so fast. The same old blonds with big fake tits as we try to figure out why a rapper deserves to be interviewed for more than 10 questions. Actually, this Playboy interviews Dr. Drew and a rarity for Playmates, a brunette.

How did Cindy Margolis shave her pubes to look that perfect? I'm not kidding when her landing strip is so straight that I just had to ask this. Oh, and I'm not complaining because it's nice that a celebrity posing for Playboy reveals her bush. I hate it when a woman deems herself too good to reveal what all us guys really want to see. Tits? As if I've never seen a pair. Ass? It's pretty typical that even a Latina has a nice one. But a bush? Shaved? Bare? What is her husband getting to eat?

So, I'm going to head on up and watch some of USA Network's Burn Notice. My dad got me interested in this little show that could. It's got guns and babes but it's the actress, Gabrielle Anwar that gets my attention. Woman that handles weapons? So there. This is the moment where Sara feels my crotch just to see if I got hard while a lady shoots with two semi-automatics. Happy twats all around.