Birthday Rites

"Do not wait to strike til the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."

-William Butler Yeats

Ever had one of those days, those that start with a nasty stormy looking sky? All I could do is realize that I've overslept after waking up around 3am to sneeze out some major booger and that I'm just a little bit older than yesterday. I've rarely had a great birthday so that one moment where I was passed out on a fraternity's lawn is one that reminds me of good times.

But allow me to show you how someone you've never met can have the power to make things better. My wi-fi was not working on this computer so I decided to use my dad's upstairs one prior to my usual daily outings where I deal with errands. I'm not one to expect much due to having a family that doesn't seem to want to celebrate birthdays. You'd be surprised at how amazed I am when I see others get taken out to dinner. I'd love it if someone used noisemakers or took the time to tip some drunken Mexicans to sing 'Labamba' to me. Don't be surprised if I end up losing a sneaker to an attempt at breakdancing.

My jaw dropped. Remember, this takes a lot to do since I've pretty much seen it all in regards to life and sex. Some of the coolest and sexiest pictures were sent to me with a nice little catch. This girl remembered my love of belly buttons! I swear I took off in my car with a large smile on my face even if the day looked like shit.

How about that? C'mon, has anyone ever done something for you that made things better because he/she listened? I talk about all sorts of things in this blog, much of it very honest with a dose of insane humor. To find that someone you've never physically met (but might someday) took the time to show you she remembers meant a lot to me. I love pictures and those were H-O-T.

The rest of my day really was shit, though. There was rain pretty much all day in sporadic portions here and there. 5-Pound Phooey was grumpy towards me due to not going on a full walk where we end up in a park to chase squirrels and rat terriers. My guess is that if you've not been allowed to release a major need to bark out frustrations time is shit. Though, it was kind of funny how it started to rain in the middle of a walk. I'm sure people found it weird to see me run the rest of the way holding a small dog that munched on a cicada. Life aint lived til you've told bug who's boss.

But tomorrow will find me in Indiana. Oh, you bet I have something to look forward to! Sara's someone that is totally there for taking me out to dinner just as I did for her on her birthday. Instead of 'girly drinks,' I'd settle for something along the 6-pack variety. No, she doesn't have to get me drunk before bedding me. Things along this line just make for goofy fun when the girl has a hard time ripping a drunken boyfriend's clothes off prior to the birthday blowjob. Don't deny it. All birthday boys receive fantastic oral sex for it is in the rule book under section 46 code 23 paragraph 3.

"And it shall be known that the male, after making it fact, will receive a blowjob upon the date of his birth. There will be no female jibber jabber as she gently unzips his pants. She is, however, required to make the male extremely comfortable while setting the event with music designed for such an event. There will be no giggling if he has selected embarassingly tasteless music like Debbie Gibson, Boy George, or MC Hammer. For this is the day all males look forward to, just like Prom night, the honeymoon, a UFC championship fight, and when a sexy female celebrity is found to *accidently* release a homemade porn tape. It is the Birthday Blowjob and it will be long enough to make his toes curl and for the cat to give a very confused expression that it did when the furniture was rearranged last week."

So, I bid adieu to y'all. Thank you to all of you for the birthday wishes and pictures sent my way. All of this meant a lot to me as I finally find this day coming to an end. While I can see why some people find a shit day best to pass out with a large bottle of whiskey, I'm just happy that people listen to me and that's enough to get me through my day even if I got a lot of 'Happy birthdays' from various people in my gym. Happy twats all around.