Just Thinking.......On A Star

"Insanity runs deep in the company that I keep.
Insanity runs deep in everyone but me.
My padded walls you call my eyes,
my dreams that you call my lies.
Around my wrists my shackles lay.
Razor blades and cocaine to pass the time away."

-Nikki Sixx

Now, I almost see myself as an addict. One of my favorite blogs just locked itself up. Damn, I love it when there is someone else just as cynical towards the world that somehow finds the time to share very insightful thoughts on idiotic celebs. Never really thought of Jennifer Lopez as a girl that looked like a fucking Hispanic hotel worker but to each their own. Big butts that are obviously full of cellulite never turned me on anyway.

Do you ever go for walks? I do everyday but that's pretty much a have-to thanks to a little demon with a hairy ass and a need to tell me to get up off my ass. Yes, my dog takes advantage of my submissive ass by insisting there are trees to piss on and butts to sniff.

Walks really ground me because, whenever I don't have to apologize for 5-Pound Phooey's need to make every other dog jumpy by shouting out 4-letter doggie words, I think a lot. Oh, and I mean lots! I tend to trivialize with myself as to which drug would most likely make me an addict. Would I change anything if I could go back in time? Would I have a mistress if I lived in France? Could I ever beat my timed continuous 43-minutes of sex ? What would be my scariest situation in life? Can someone top Sir-Mix-Alot's "Baby Got Back" by making an even better ode to a woman's buttocks? Do I really need those 84 pairs of Air Jordans? Would someone that knows my blog ever send me a birthday gift other than those amazing pictures? Do I see myself being okay with married life? Would I ever answer the door butt-naked when a Jehovah's Witness comes to the door?

Fun Questions to pass the time away:

1). On a scale of 1 to 10, how famous are you? Well, I do get a lot of hits here and there when it comes to this blog. I'd give myself a 2 since there are an awful lot of people that will not place me on their fucking faves list even though they come here so much. Pisses me off but we already know that.

2). What one thing do you do better now than anyone else you know? Stay sane. Ever since I've been with Sara, I've noticed that I am so relaxed and grounded in life. There is no worrying about whether I'm still hip or cool. I've got a girlfriend that adores me and keeps me out of trouble by showing me how the best of times is to watch an episode of House in a big leather couch on a plasma.

3). What is the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth? Don't go there. I'll never admit to doing it even if I did tell Sara once. Kristan was nasty and that's all I can say because it really involved my tongue and needing to explore a woman's body. I did eat an ant once.

4). How much is a pint of milk? Don't know and don't care. I've not touched milk for years. Sara tries to get me to drink a little from her glass but na-da.

5). What's your favorite word in the English language? Anarchy? Mayhem? Quim? Oh, sorry. Quim is a Mediterranean word for pussy. A lot of my favorite words I cannot come up with start with a "V" like villain and vindictive.

6). When were you last naked outdoors? Let's see......when did Sara and I visit that park? It's been a long time unless you count the fact that she enjoys unzipping me while I drive. The girl is bad, folks.

7). What's your earliest memory? The crib. No, seriously. I shocked my mother years ago by describing my activity center placed on the left of my crib and even remember my dad coming in to pick me up. Most of my memory's amazing abilities come from images that I tend to capture with my eyes like first meeting Sara, time spent in Montreal, Canada, cartoons during Christmas time, and needing to lay on the ground after too much soda at my cousin's.

8). You're at karaoke-what's your song of choice? Better yet, what will I not sing if I've had one too many? Gotta go with a classic here by saying Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" or Madonna's "Live To Tell." Both are kind of depressing but I enjoy that feeling because sometimes it's good to feel that way. Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains" also comes to mind because, dammit, there are times where a guy can mimic a short gal in a short skirt that knows how to rock the mic.

9). What do you do when you die? Nothing. Not a damn thing. That's why I say enjoy life because you might come back as a flower to be pissed on by my dog.

10). If you had to be stuck in the lift with a celebrity, who? I swear I could chat up George Clooney like a goofy fool that I am. I've admired his demeanor even if Sara hates him quite a bit. If it's a sex thing and I'm single, the only obvious choice is Keira Knightley. That woman oozes sex appeal with me but I've always found her to be smart in her interviews and dream of being her bicycle seat.

11). Have you ever Googled yourself? Long, long ago. I've not whims of thinking myself worth the time.

12). What was your first movie crush? Hard to remember.........hmmmm. I'm going to have to say that Phoebe Cates in Fast Times At Ridgemont High would be quite an early one. Took me a while to see why the movie is so classic because I only saw it for it's zany sense of humor and great tits on Phoebe. I was so upset when I didn't get to see Porky's with my dad because I was hoping to see some major bush. That dentist appointment was so disappointing.

13). What was the first prize you ever won? Do we have to go there again? A Strawberry Shortcake coloring contest brought me a fancy pair of strawberry knickers that got a major sniffing. Yes, I have a problem with loving the smell of strawberries and, yes, those panties were worth every long amount of time spent inhaling them.

14). What Scooby-Doo character do you identify with? Velma or Thelma? I had a crush on her for years. Yo, that bitch was fine! Why anyone wanted that weak-ass Daffney was beyond me. You just know that Velma had a fantastic pair of tits hidden behind that enormous sweater just itching to be watched going up and down as she was chased by a sea monster. Plus, nobody understood her genius as well as I. Fred was a dork. Scooby was cool but too scared of everything. Shaggy had issues with being stoned all the time. Velma was just about to come into her sexuality as was I at the time of hoping for a glimpse up that skirt. Yes, it was a cartoon. Yes, I was weird thanks to Captain Crunch on Saturday mornings.

15). What is in your pocket now? I always empty out my pockets when I get home. I'm always out with my wallet, key chain, and Altoids or gum. Always. I used to carry a butterfly knife just to flip around when I was bored. After a few scratches and sharp pokes, I got very good at it and even got other people to want to learn.

So, there you have it. I'm outta here as I await my day in orientation tomorrow. It sounds like I've got the job but that will not begin til the 24th. Might head on out to Indiana this Friday and be back on Sunday night just to help relax myself a bit. After spending a disappointing birthday dinner with just my mum, I need this. You know why I like gifts? Because after spending years of receiving money, it makes me feel good if anyone gets me something because I always wonder how others see me. It matters in that I wonder if people even remember me, at times. Am I worth the trouble after doing things for them? Happy twats all around.