Sex Is Like A............

"Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear. When I do, it's something unusual."

-Stripes

Bear with me here. I just cleaned up my room after letting it deal with itself for 2 weeks. That's unusual and I paid for it last night with many sneezes. Then again, it could be the allergy season coming to an almighty send-off where I feel like I'll never be able to sleep again. Forget Freddy and his glove with knives! It's pollen and cats that can make me wish I had died in my dreams.

I am in a good mood, however. It may be a little early for it but I'm going to get my birthday present sooner than September 6th. Our Best Buy has a few Nintendo Wii's in stock. I'm not as much into video games as I once was but this system is fun. You can't just sit there. Join in by playing tennis and feel like you are actually bowling a ball down the lane. Thanks to last Friday night, I got to witness 3 semi-drunk girls do karaoke. I forgot which song I joined them but "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club is nice after 3 Rolling Rocks.

But I like this......quiet. I'm much more rested, seeing as things have been taken care of here at home. I'm such a little sucker-puss going all over the place with worries as to whether I am behind or how long til I catch up. The stack of magazines was h-u-g-e.

But sex? I'll let you in on a little secret. I find it overrated. What am I drinking, you say? Not a drop as I do find a major amount of enjoyment with sex. It's just that the act is not going to heal you, make you better, sing you a song at night, last for many hours, and can even cause more problems than its worth. What sex can do is relax and settle the mind. Am I the only one that thinks Finals in college would have been better with some oral exploration rather than 2 cans of Mountain Dew?

Don't get me wrong. I love sex. It's best in a monogamous relationship where I can say anything without fear of being slapped. The girl pays attention to my fantasies just as I listen to hers. She'll even slip a few events that I've never taken into consideration all just to see my toes curl up. Pleasure can be read by how many of those do that. Gawd, have you ever had your asshole licked? Now, I know why you girls enjoy your main hole of pleasure with saliva so much.

Sex just changes. That first part of meeting someone makes you so high and full of lust. I'm always dying to slip my fingers inside her and to taste her pussy. I'm curious, curious as a kitten when I want to know her most private scent. Remember the phone call that was recorded by the paparazzi where Prince Charles told his mistress that he wanted to be her tampon? I wouldn't go that far but lust makes us guys do really strange things. I'm not sure how I'd feel about walking around with a string all the time.

It's later on that it slows down. Work constantly makes Sara so tired and more tame. Whereas I was once walking around with claw marks all over my back, I haven't seen them nor felt my blood stick to my t-shirt. For me, it's been the cat. Being as allergic as I am, my skin is hardly sensitive and left me so sleepy it's like I'm suffering from a dangerous disorder. I'm finding that I'm quite happy completely naked and curled up with Sara by my side.

To be honest, I'm quite embarrassed how I've gotten. There are many moments where I miss being what Old Nick calls a 'complete animal.' Where did I go when it comes to flipping a girl over from missionary and then piercing her with my cock as I need for doggy-style came up? Sex isn't for just laying there in 1 position for 10 minutes straight in hopes of cumming. No, you've gotta find yourself in Sara's words, "treat her like a whore.' Oh, how I hate that word but I guess, when between couples, it's a good run for wrecking the bed.

Can you believe that a small white cat can give me so much trouble? I hyperventilate like a complete geek when confronted by Sara's parents' 2 cats and then come back to the apartment where another enjoys curling up next to me. Ah, no more skin sensitivity! It's nearly impossible to cum the way I enjoy, shooting out massive loads of it til I keel over exhausted. Nothing quite like seeing her holding my dick and wiping away everything before it gets in the sheets.

You know me. I'd love to throw Sara around like I used to on occasion before the cat came to live there. We'd play ever since the first night I stayed there. Would you believe that Sara told me that just because I was coming to visit that it didn't mean she'd share her bed with me. Somehow, I seduced her and even coaxed her into her first time showering with a boy. That was cute. Girls really can emit a sparkle from their eyes when feeling naughty about washing their boyfriends' knobs.

Movies suck when it comes to sex. There are so many things they contain where positions are impossible unless he has a 13-inch dick. Girls do not wish for their boyfriends to put on underwear right after sex. Sex in public is not that easy, especially when the buildings are not comfortable to hold her up against. The shower is almost impossible to fuck her up against the wall unless she weighs less than 110 pounds. A girl expects a guy to sniff her panties and mention how naughty she's been by producing a panty puddle. Guys like tits and girls like big thick dicks to play with. Oh, and girls, from my experiences, love to watch a guy cum and the more that comes out, the better. It's nice that I see more and more women feeling free to say what they want in their desires because let's face it. I'm not afraid to be vocal about how nice it is to watch her drink my cum. But do movies show this? Rarely and even porn isn't realistic enough for my tastes.

I'm amused at how much S & M is being placed in shows or movies. Lately, Showtime's Californication has a character just now discovering how much he enjoys cheating on his wife by 'punishing' his assistant. The old cute little blonde bent over to receive a spanking comes out, huh? It's obviously a bit more than just that but I must admit to being amused because I, for crying out loud, enjoy having my little toned ass swatted hard.

Sara's always an enjoyment to listen to about various sexual discussions. She doesn't hold back on anything and shares my view that men must get over their assholes. Gawd, I love being licked there or fingered all while not feeling like a gay man. Pleasure has no labels. Hell, I love women's assholes. At some point, after seeing so many pussy holes, a man needs some variety when it comes to viewing. That's where 69'ing and doggy style come in. A woman with no fear of bending over and holding her ass cheeks apart is a special one indeed.

As I have said over and over again, sex changes after years of sleeping together. Showers are slowly become more about getting clean instead of a good fingering or handjob up against the wall where you watch the cum slowly drip down. Sleep is a luxury when work begins at 8am and the cat has caused a boy to be pretty clogged up. You've seen each other naked thousands of times that any moment in the bathroom together feels safe. She's seen the penis wiggle and you've run the palm of your hand between her legs while she checked the water's temp over 50 times. It's still enjoyable, just safe.

Maybe you'll get me. Maybe not. All I can say is that sex is fun but it's not going to change your world completely. I'll always enjoy feeling up Sara and disrobing for her since it's required for male nudity when it comes to sleeping with her. A friend once said 'marriage is a sleepover that never ends.' I say that sex is the thing that makes going home to your lover and showing her how much you enjoy making her feel relaxed and safe while she sleeps. Of course, if you've got a chandelier, do hang from it before you begin your mating ritual. Happy twats all around.