Nothing Wrong Here

"Ever notice how happy kids don't write in their diaries very much? They don't have to. Life's too fun. Diaries are for when life isn't fun. They're for figuring out what went wrong."

-'Dear Diary' byLesley Arfin (p. 5)

Weird how things are going well for me but Sara's in a bit of a bind with work. The usual co-workers are annoying or something. Not completely sure. Nice to hear from her today since we're now going back and forth about our days more so than saying anything about what we want to do to each other in bed. We're, like, so grown up now.

What I forgot to mention yesterday was my coming across a guy that used to go to my gym, one you'd not be able to forget. He has 1 tattoo and it's all over his body. His face is completely clean but the neck has a number on it. Freaky but interesting, as all my friends that grunt and strain while heavy metal blares out of the gym's speakers. We're now okay with profanities since it's what comes out of our mouths while holding obscene amounts of weight each night.

Sara is getting a tattoo and it's been mentioned that I should do one that I've wanted for some time. A tattoo? Lovely. The best part is that we're hoping to do this at one of the premiere places in New York, after being navigated around by Sara's best friend that lives there. It's when I mentioned this to the guy up above that he tells me I should take the opportunity. New York is big for the finest inkers. That's not something I'm used to hearing since, like all that watch a little or a lot of TV, it's all about Miami or L.A.

Now, I'm not afraid of needles. Shots or even shots of novocaine mean nothing to a guy that once broke his foot playing baseball but played both games of the doubleheader anyway. My only dilemma is where this fucking tattoo is going on my body, a head shot of the Joker holding a deck of cards. Yes, the little subliminal message comes out that I don't take all of life so seriously all while still reading comic books. The artwork itself is by Jim Lee so anyone that knows this name will know that the Joker is going to look damn detailed and devilish.

The old tattoo decision was of the ashrikage symbol where each line meant a battle with the earth's elements. Neato, to me. Sara hated this, a symbol worn on my favorite G.I.Joe characters, Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow. Yes, I love ninjas and that sneakiness they do to get in and get out. Plus, mystery can make a character something more pronounced rather than revealing it all far too soon. A reader or observer is pulled and kept there until the timing is perfect for giving a hint or two. Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow had their pasts kept for a long time in those comics, even as their uniforms changed through the battles.

As for Sara's......that's kind of a secret. It's pretty damn neat, if you ask me, only I forgot where it's going on her body. Mine'll probably be on my upper right shoulder. This is all so early anyway...........

There is one other thing. When I talked to that tattoo guy, I found out that he owned a shop. When I told him that I've always heard inkers had bad attitudes, this is the response I got: "You'd be cranky, too, if you worked 47 hours a week." Wow. I'm learning a lot about these people.

So, work? I'm in training with a large company that will make Sara jealous because I make more than her so soon. There are those other factors that drive her nuts, wealth and that I get hit on a lot even when she's with me. So far, I love what I'm about to do. The hours are far better than my old job. I will get to see daylight. Thanksgiving will be a day I can relax. Holidays are off. Many benefits come up after time spent. After a certain amount of hours, I get $100. Why didn't I start earlier?

Apparently, I didn't exist. Yup, the company did an extensive background research on me to find that my social security number was non-existent. Wondered why I didn't hear back from job interviews. After some major research into whether there were any felonies (there are none) and various bad things, I was hired rather quickly. Isn't the weird?

Of course, I finished Lesley Arfin's ''Dear Diary' yesterday. Pretty damn good account on what it's like to be addicted to heroin in New York. While many would hide the fact that a withdrawal of the drug brings up extremely embarassing times like having to have a bucket on both ends because of throwing up while facing violent diarrhea, Lesley sets you straight. It's horrible. Heroin can even make you think you are in love with someone even if it's only to get high with him/her.

What I love about diaries with an incredible sense of honesty is to show that embarassing moments are natural. Now, I've never had to walk into a bathroom to see my name used for nasty remarks but, to girls, I'm sure this is almost like a life or death situation. It would be funny if guys were like that, telling the whole school whose pussy I had eaten out. I'd always carry a marker to write: "Damn right!" beneath the caption. To my friend, Bald-O, life ends when someone takes the time to write about his need to put his finger up a girl's butt.

"But I thought we'd keep that private, man."

Yes, I need to call him and ask him if his dream of getting his finger all stinky came true. It's been what..........2 years? Things like this bring boys together. The same happens with a lot of alcohol. I like my life again and my finger has done it all. It's amazing nothing went wrong today. Happy twats all around.