They May Have Got Me

"Somehow, I just might get off shit creek without a paddle."

-Me

Ah, nothing like a complete change in things. There is only so much of the same-old same-old that I can take. Mind's been going all crazy because I enjoy doing things instead of nothing. Reading does keep it busy but I haunt, haunt too many bookstores to the point that I don't warrant help because I've obviously taken to memorizing how many portions of carpet are worn out.

I did find it amusing to watch the local black youth trying to shoplift. Don't you just hate it when a store's sensor goes off? The look on the bad person's face is so priceless. How'd those sneakers get there?

I'm fine. Just my usual ratty old self because yo' boy just might have a job! Yessirree, my blue eyes may have been opened a little bit more under a high security facility where I have to go through a metal detector and be patted down after work. Don't you just love that? I'm totally for free feelies and huggies after a day of work.

What happened to me is simple. I got put in the wrong group as I needed to be processed first. Nice. It was here that one manager didn't know what to do with me. Lucky for me, I am a cutie-pie to the fullest because I got my own private tour of the facility. It was here that the manager admitted to wanting me after an amusing conversation around loud machinery. I don't know how she dealt with all that for 3.5 years prior to her nice comfy desk job of occasionally escorting cute boys like me.

But seriously, I just might have what I wanted, something where I can see Sara on weekends and the occasional trip down south where I rediscover the bounties of beer. There are a few things to work out. Namely, that my workouts will be at a different time, meaning newer people to deal with in my gym. I've always wondered who grunts and strains around 7pm.

It's Sara that is the concern. Don't worry for I am taking this job if it is offered. Like I said, the hours are good enough and weekends are for freedom. It's just that Sara was expecting us to fly out to New York on Halloween and see her best friend all while getting tattoos. We're rebels! It must be amazingly crazy to leave with the most boring of skin only to come back with symbols of tragic thoughts. Yes, I am telling you the truth. Tattoos and me pouring out a little liquor for my MTV homie, Carson Daly. Just how old should you be allowed when placed in a room with tweens?

Yeah, it's kind of weird how all of this may suddenly change. I save up a bunch of money and then transfer to Indiana for the same job or something better within. Not going back to my old job would mean I will be able to see Sara in November and December, something I've never done. Plus, I might be able to enjoy Thanksgiving without having a 3:30am wake-up call. No Crotch Rot and Stinky. Remember how each long dull night I would talk of walking down the aisles wondering how long til that boy would realize his ass needed a good washing? When a job starts one day only to make it into the next, my mind tends to warp out. Oh, the stories I will be able to tell one day seeing as I'll never forget a 30-something-year-old asking out a guy with a note only to run away like a hippo with a massive diarrhea explosion to deal with in private.

I'll get more into things later, seeing as I have to report at 8:30am for information, etc. The girl I talked to was extremely nice and enjoyed talking to me. It's the other people I wonder about. Wonder what it takes for them to realize employment should be taken a little more seriously. You do not wear pink t-shirts that barely conceal your fast food addicted stomach while you talk on the phone. Makes me wonder when I'll stop seeing Dale Earnhardt t-shirts, too. Happy twats all around.