Now, Go To My Room!

"What is a boy like you doing with a girl like me?"

-Sara (Late at night, she asked me this right before she passed out from exhaustion)

I'm in a little bit of a weird state right now. Actually, I shouldn't be feeling as weirded out since I'm not like that hypocrite of a senator, Larry Craig, talking to Chris Matthews. Did you see that? There is a saved portion of the show where Larry Craig is asked about what to do with Bill Clinton during that Monica scandal. His advice? I'm serious when I say that Larry goes on and on about telling Clinton that he's been a 'very naughty boy.' The look on Chris Matthews's face is the best part. Seriously, you have to see this video.

My brother is moving out next Sunday. While a part of me is jumping up and down thanks to joy, the other parts are kind of stunned. He's going to North Carolina. It's no secret that I'm not close to my little brother due to his insane need to do everything in secret. It's just that my nature of being the goofy open friendly guy is totally alien to him and I hate people that shut me out. Long story short. I'm just stunned but hoping for a free trip to see North Carolina someday. A part of me is now wondering how my little brother is going to attempt to bed women because he certainly failed in this town. Beanpoles just aren't that popular with the type he wants.

Plus, I kind of stunned my own mother, news that she's only slightly been wondering about. It's no secret that within 2 years I just might be moving to Indiana. I know, I know. Sammy, you can really hit me in the balls at times with your statements. There is reality and, yes, I know that it's past my time. People have constantly been on my ass about where I'm going to go or why they want me to live near them. It all started with Bald-O wanting me to move to cowtown but my heart is just too big for those with minds that find black people to be too 'ethnic.'

Over 2.5 years have been spent with Sara. There are have been good time and even some bad times but I cannot deny loving this girl. It's a huge step in getting me out of here but she's a good catalyst. My mom, definitely dealing with depression thanks to a husband that lets a computer play with his mind, is going to be very upset. This may sound weird but we're like best friends since I've always been very open with her when it comes to my life and hate how I see various things bring her down.

A part of this came when I dropped Sara off at work. As you know, she has epilepsy so driving is my job on each visit to Indiana. When I walked in to pick up money owed me by her, I noticed a picture on her desk. It was the two of us, one that's in my "My Pictures" section where my eyes are completely open and Sara is smiling to my right. We're in winter coats so I hope that narrows it down but just know that the whole image is of our smiling faces.

I don't know what to say. How did I get a very individualistic artist to fall in love with me? What is so special about me? I, sometimes, feel as if I come across y'all as an arrogant prick when I'm actually more along the lines of a cynical smirk. You know there's trouble but you get pulled in anyway because I'll soon allow you to see how warm I am inside. There's nobody you'd want on your side more than me. Sara feels safe, safe enough to argue with over some of the stupidest things. Is Matthew Mchaughney really an actor? Is there a Christian Bale movie that sucks because we haven't found one......yet. What do we get Sammy for her birthday?

I'm laughing at that last one because it was an actual debate that I remember well. I mean, how do you do that, a birthday present for someone you've never met that soon turns into a debate? Sara tells me how she really feels. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to watch horror movies with her thanks to this. She hates 'em while I love 'em. Damn, no Halloween remake unless someone wants to go with me........

So, within a time of 1 to 2 years, I may be living in a new town. Will I survive? It's scary as hell even if I did live with 5 other guys in college. I've lost 1 best friend to alcohol and another to drugs. Makes me a little stronger. Things are a lot harder when it comes to dealing with the estrogen variety. There's that whole other dilemma with toothbrushes, bed hogging, tampons in my bathroom, and trying to watch horror movies without being told that it's time for Top Chef. I like Top Chef but I like werewolves even more.

So, I'll be out of this mind-set of seeing so many different scenarios eventually. What I've been aching to do is an entry on my observations towards sex. It's weird how things change as you get older while wishing I still had that innocence. Oh, to be curious what a woman's vagina smelled or felt like and how difficult it will be to get my peen up in there! I've already done it all. Well, except anal but there's always 6 beers to give you courage to explore the ol' 'brown eye.' Any hints on helping me with this will be appreciated.

As for my day, I spent a little talking to the old lady down the street. How about that? I'm over my disappointment with the older generation fucking things up for us young 'uns! I'm planning on what to do on my big shopping trip prior to my birthday. Should I get rid of my dog tags and wear something more flashy like a giant clock so I know what time it is and people will stop asking me. When you have diamonds on your watch, people will constantly ask the time just to take a look at it. That's a fact, jack. It's Friday night and YOU should be out picking up an STD. Happy twats all around.