I Will Get Out

"If I were a woman, I'd be considered the same as Medusa on the rag. Yes, I do get a tad bit grouchy."

-Me

It has come to my attention that I need to stop behaving like a somewhat-hermit and enjoy the life I once did. Could it be that I need to throw myself into the arms of Bald-O? Yes, boys do miss each other even if there is some strange sort of grunting that goes along with all. Clear your eyes away from the cloudy mess of all the farting where we look for those 'elephants' that keep disappearing underneath the couches and you'll find us.

Okay, I know I can be a little bit of a pain with my words and I realize this more and more as I walk with 5-Pound Phooey. The weather, although somewhat humid, is perfect traveling conditions seeing as no one enjoys driving hours in the snow. Next weekend, I will be in Indiana or down south with my college friend, Bald-O. It's kind of a toss-up but it'll most likely be Indiana due to Sara's definite need for bedding a boy. You should know it by heart, girls. Life isn't about enjoying a garden party but having a thick cock thrusted up between your legs to make you moan or squirt.

If you are a squirter, please put the images or video on the 'Net. I will forever find a woman enjoying a squirting orgasm as being the most fascinating thing out of all sex even if I am still up in odds as to whether it is pee or from that 'special place' that's considered a sponge. The world record in distance is just over 9 feet. When a girl's gotta go, she's gotta go!

But there is a slight romantic notion to traveling. Weird but true. Seeing as I've spent many miles on that 2 hours and 46 minutes down south, I know it by heart. Each small town I go through, I think of how interesting it is. You'd be surprised as to how many people are proud of being a part of places with a population of 40 to 500 instead of the big city where I am from and still live. Unfortunately, that stigma where people from small towns have small minds does tend to ring true quite often. They make up for it with bigger hearts than those in big cities, though, considering that "southern comfort" really is a great time to kick off your shoes and pass out under a large tree after getting a handjob from Bessie-Jo.

For once, Britney Spears and I are in the same boat. I'm watching my hair grow long with hopes that it would go a bit faster. Sara mentioned how much better I'd look with longer hair instead of my usual spiky appearance. No, I'm not that submissive but have always wanted to do so for a while. All I needed was a mention or urging and away I go with not having the top cut and allowing the back to catch up at an even pace.

Well, it's working seeing as I've played around with it by slicking my hair back. I'm in the minority on the enjoyment of seeing my hair the way Don Johnson had it during his Miami Vice days. It's just that I'm in a playful state, seeing as this is what happens during those grumpy days. The look on people's faces as I work out in public is fun. They're just not used to seeing my gorgeous blue eyes so easily on this toned face that cannot be taken seriously. I tend to laugh a lot.

The goal, though, is to bring back Christian Slater's hair from the movie, Heathers. Remember that 80's classic? No? How about a good quote?

"I love my dead gay son!"

It's gonna take some major practice with my hair seeing as it still likes to spike up a bit. When I reach ponytail status, my goal has been achieved. I've never grown it that far and that'll just make me feel like more of a rebel in my gym. The only hairstyles you see in there are military or something very short. Weight-lifters and bodybuilders just don't have a sense of adventure past shaving their armpit hair.

As for today, 5-Pound Phooey ate 3 cicadas and pissed off some college girl that had trouble controlling her 2 poodles. Any day where a poodle is pissed off is a good day for her. That college girl's a snob anyway.

Oh, and if you're an addict for nude celebrities, the pics of Nick and Vanessa completely starkers are on the 'Net. American tabloids, fearful of being sued, censored them but the Mexican ones let it all hang out. Let's just say that I didn't know that Vanessa was that hairy down there. Whoo! Nick's got some major rug munchin' goin' on and, yes, I am happy that there are some rebellious girls that say to hell with bare. Bush is so coming back. Too bad the nude scenes in the new Jessica Biel movie are only going to be her tits and side view of her ass. That ass so needs to be shown in full motion from the back. Yes, there is a white girl that can make a black guy thankful.

So, I'm outta here as I keep to myself as I know I'll be gone next weekend. Drunk or sexually satisfied? A boy has some very tough decisions to make. There are some very good revelations when alcohol is the only form of refreshment found in a trailer. Happy twats all around.