Me: "I'm weirder than an elephant!"
Sara: "What?"
Me: "Have you ever tried to live with an elephant?"
Sara: !?!
Sara: "What?"
Me: "Have you ever tried to live with an elephant?"
Sara: !?!
Yo, I'm back as I realize how each year seems to make Sara and I seem more and more like an actual couple. Last night, we attempted to have sex but were too tired to fulfill any sort of fire to this desire. I, with the sleepiness of allergies, and Sara, with her desire to stay up late even though work starts at 8am, only went to sleep. Yes, it is definitely funny to find her dead asleep while I'm trying to pull up my shorts prior to that walk down the hall to brush teeth.
Yeah, I know how things change after spending over 2 years with each other. While you might still desire the other, it's also depending on how you bounce off of each other. Little things like being yelled at while driving tend to irk me while I'm sure to have little habits that irritate Sara. Everything is forgotten when the lights go out and she grabs me to have me hold her as she sleeps. Oh, how I wish I could drift off that fast because I tend to find moments where I stare at the ceiling for almost an hour. Girls do fart in their sleep, along with sudden kicking and hogging of bed or covers.
So, what kept me there for a week? Sara wanted to join a gym that would have my seal of approval of also joining. While these places are like second homes to me, she tends to be a bit shy of these places where people put image first. It's no surprise, really. My gym has some real arrogant assholes that so many people hate working out with. Would it bother you if a guy constantly checks himself out in the mirror? How about when you catch him looking up your shorts? Do you smile?
So, Sara and I joined an upscale workout facility that is a little odd when first walked through. It's small and only 1,000 people are allowed to join. Hence the 'exclusive' word that keeps getting noted in the brochure. 3 days were spent helping Sara set up a workout routine. I've got her doing 20 minutes of cardio (treadmill and elliptical) and 20 to 30 minutes of machine usage. Apparently, when she heard the word 'bra fat ridder,' I was ordered to show her where this amazing machine was located. Women have different reasons than men to work on the back, eh?
But is the gym snobbish? Not completely. When you first walk in, the main guys behind the desk are 'pretty boys.' My eyes were more into taking everything in and setting up a routine while Sara handled the specifics for our 2-week trial workout (many gyms have them so ask). The smallness is odd but can be slowly gotten used to.
The funny part about working out with Sara happens after she's done with her cardio. It's here that I am supposed to help her workout by showing her all the various things to do with the machines. She seems to think that all the looks I get from people are that I'm her brother. To Sara, I am just too amazing to be the boyfriend of a female artist. Oh, like I'm the type to walk around with a football in hand and always debating about the latest Playstation 3 Madden video game. I'd rather talk about the insanity of there being an actual yoga teacher for dogs.
But I did get stared at quite a bit all while also being made to feel humble. The guy behind the desk kept staring at me while another guy kept watching my workout. I found it funny when the cute girl in the tiny running shorts kept looking me over while I helped Sara with her shoulders (mirrors are all over, okay?). It wasn't til the owner of the gym came and told me how I was working on the backrow wrong that set me back in my place that my weirded out head came back down to reality. In my defense, I've rarely ever done that move but was only stretching out my back. Having 2 guys critique me was slightly embarassing but it made me realize that it was all about helping. I really was just stretching out my back.
Note: You, too, would know I look odd when the main clientelle are judges, lawyers, and large business owners. Ah, but you've got to smell the locker room! It was so good with its own sauna and private shower rooms! But I came to work out and not hope for gay senators to try and cup my large balls.
My early birthday presents from Sara came with the thought of getting me something I already have but would want more of. I have everything so why fret? A new extra-soft Miller Lite t-shirt followed by one with an all-over London death certificate made my day. The latter one was really creative in how it's designed so I wore it 2 times. I'm not sure if I'll be in Indiana for my actual birthday date of September 6th yet.
Going to New York on Halloween is a definite plan, though. Will hang out with the Naked Cowboy and cry for Carson Daly's return to MTV's TRL. When a tween cries, I cry with her because Carson was extra special, someone that could handle Tara Reid's pleas for help all while drooling over a young Britney Spears.
Of course, a visit home is not without my extra special someone that just so happens to have 4 legs and more attitude than N.W.A.. Oh, I was missed as you would have seen us take off like bullets on our run (no walk but R-U-N). Chased 2 cats and a few squirrels that have my legs very sore as I am typing this.
So, there you have it. I'm back and will be my old self soon enough. When I'm at Sara's I don't comment or write as much. Sitting on the bed to type just doesn't bring out my creativity. Plus, I pass out after taking her to work. How she stays up so late only to get up around 7am is beyond me. The cat sends me away to dreamland as well. Don't believe a boy can find himself catching z's instead of being happy inside his girlfriend's snatch? You will. Happy twats all around.
Yeah, I know how things change after spending over 2 years with each other. While you might still desire the other, it's also depending on how you bounce off of each other. Little things like being yelled at while driving tend to irk me while I'm sure to have little habits that irritate Sara. Everything is forgotten when the lights go out and she grabs me to have me hold her as she sleeps. Oh, how I wish I could drift off that fast because I tend to find moments where I stare at the ceiling for almost an hour. Girls do fart in their sleep, along with sudden kicking and hogging of bed or covers.
So, what kept me there for a week? Sara wanted to join a gym that would have my seal of approval of also joining. While these places are like second homes to me, she tends to be a bit shy of these places where people put image first. It's no surprise, really. My gym has some real arrogant assholes that so many people hate working out with. Would it bother you if a guy constantly checks himself out in the mirror? How about when you catch him looking up your shorts? Do you smile?
So, Sara and I joined an upscale workout facility that is a little odd when first walked through. It's small and only 1,000 people are allowed to join. Hence the 'exclusive' word that keeps getting noted in the brochure. 3 days were spent helping Sara set up a workout routine. I've got her doing 20 minutes of cardio (treadmill and elliptical) and 20 to 30 minutes of machine usage. Apparently, when she heard the word 'bra fat ridder,' I was ordered to show her where this amazing machine was located. Women have different reasons than men to work on the back, eh?
But is the gym snobbish? Not completely. When you first walk in, the main guys behind the desk are 'pretty boys.' My eyes were more into taking everything in and setting up a routine while Sara handled the specifics for our 2-week trial workout (many gyms have them so ask). The smallness is odd but can be slowly gotten used to.
The funny part about working out with Sara happens after she's done with her cardio. It's here that I am supposed to help her workout by showing her all the various things to do with the machines. She seems to think that all the looks I get from people are that I'm her brother. To Sara, I am just too amazing to be the boyfriend of a female artist. Oh, like I'm the type to walk around with a football in hand and always debating about the latest Playstation 3 Madden video game. I'd rather talk about the insanity of there being an actual yoga teacher for dogs.
But I did get stared at quite a bit all while also being made to feel humble. The guy behind the desk kept staring at me while another guy kept watching my workout. I found it funny when the cute girl in the tiny running shorts kept looking me over while I helped Sara with her shoulders (mirrors are all over, okay?). It wasn't til the owner of the gym came and told me how I was working on the backrow wrong that set me back in my place that my weirded out head came back down to reality. In my defense, I've rarely ever done that move but was only stretching out my back. Having 2 guys critique me was slightly embarassing but it made me realize that it was all about helping. I really was just stretching out my back.
Note: You, too, would know I look odd when the main clientelle are judges, lawyers, and large business owners. Ah, but you've got to smell the locker room! It was so good with its own sauna and private shower rooms! But I came to work out and not hope for gay senators to try and cup my large balls.
My early birthday presents from Sara came with the thought of getting me something I already have but would want more of. I have everything so why fret? A new extra-soft Miller Lite t-shirt followed by one with an all-over London death certificate made my day. The latter one was really creative in how it's designed so I wore it 2 times. I'm not sure if I'll be in Indiana for my actual birthday date of September 6th yet.
Going to New York on Halloween is a definite plan, though. Will hang out with the Naked Cowboy and cry for Carson Daly's return to MTV's TRL. When a tween cries, I cry with her because Carson was extra special, someone that could handle Tara Reid's pleas for help all while drooling over a young Britney Spears.
Of course, a visit home is not without my extra special someone that just so happens to have 4 legs and more attitude than N.W.A.. Oh, I was missed as you would have seen us take off like bullets on our run (no walk but R-U-N). Chased 2 cats and a few squirrels that have my legs very sore as I am typing this.
So, there you have it. I'm back and will be my old self soon enough. When I'm at Sara's I don't comment or write as much. Sitting on the bed to type just doesn't bring out my creativity. Plus, I pass out after taking her to work. How she stays up so late only to get up around 7am is beyond me. The cat sends me away to dreamland as well. Don't believe a boy can find himself catching z's instead of being happy inside his girlfriend's snatch? You will. Happy twats all around.
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