"Since Summer had the joy of experiencing a nice time skinnydipping, I have had this possible scenario thrown around in my head all day. Yes, it still stands that there are a certain amount of you I'd love to see completely naked with Sara and I. If this miraculous event did happen, I'd hope that there is a male that can throw off the stares people will have when it comes to the enormous size of my balls, seeing as he can fill a Pringle's can with his dick."
-Me
As you can see, no matter how awful the weather, I still keep my strange sense of humor alive. Well, every man has a fantasy and mine just involves a lot of nudity and the need to exhibit myself on a warm day. Cartwheel, always naked cartwheels will get the party started even if I swear I will find myself parked on a chair discussing old school video games with someone's boyfriend as various tits move around me.
The traffic, along with this humid weather, was the worst! 40,000 students moved back in today so anywhere near the grocery stores or home improvement stores was a complete hassle. Funny how in my neighborhood it was the local high school girls in bikinis jumping up and down that had old men driving their SUVs and BMWs much slower than usual. Of course, that meant those car washes did much better than the ones where donations were wanted and parents did all the work. Old guys love to 'oggle the goodies' as Missy from the movie, Bring It On, said it best.
After getting through the hellacious traffic, I found that the bookstores had not one student in them. Hooray for the nerds spending more time hooking up their computers. It was just us locals curled up in Barnes and Borders while cafe workers offered free samples. Also, it was here that I see another magazine devotes some time to our misunderstood brown girl, M.I.A., as she tries to explain again why the U.S. would not renew her visa. It took Bono to bring her back after the U.S. deemed her as a possible terrorist.
Who? A beats making SECOND most favorite brown girl from Sri Lanka as a terrorist!?! If anything, we should bring M.I.A. and keep her, seeing as she tries new things when it comes to sounds instead of always relying on others to make them for her. Not only is this girl gorgeous but she's just fucking different in how she has the locals in her videos all while finding that one beat that moves her enough to freestyle the start. There is no credit card being slid down the crack of her ass.
M.I.A. has her ways. The only thing I hate about a magazine that considers itself to be for the female is this 'feminist' label. They always ask the interviewed subject about whether he/she sees itself as one. My Women In Society college teacher told me I am one. Made me laugh because it was the one class where 27 girls may have had me outgunned only to learn that I have a mouth from the south. Who would have thought that little old me would hold more power over 27 quiet girls as I defended homosexuals and denounced religion as nothing but something to oppress women. Still wish those girls had more to say than worry about what to wear since I really wanted a heavy debate.
I don't know. That kind of got thrown off as I typed that. Dammit, I hate it when I get sidetracked over so many subjects thrown at me at once. This tends to happen a lot since I type all my entries off the top of my head. Just go with me and not follow me.
So, this iPod vibrator is really taking off. Yeah, there is a major article found in the mag I picked up. Women, they have the niftiest gadgets for self-love, these days. I've always found vibrators and sex toys as something that pleases both sexes since I love to watch a woman masturbate. There's joy in watching various objects go in and out all while the air suddenly smells like cunt. Of course, it took Sara as being the first girl to allow me to watch since Kristan once told me that women masturbate best in private. Excuse me? Sara falls off the couch, bed, and chair. Who's gonna help dust her off and pep her back up after a bump on the noggin?
But the iPod vibrator.....fascinating thing that plays a pulse that goes with the song you've selected. Expect beats and not one long guitar solo, yo. The tester said that 50 Cent nearly killed her while Yoko Ono was just okay. I just cannot imagine a guy plugging in a plastic pussy that sucks like a vacuum cleaner the way the Rolling Stones get it going. If you start it up, he'll never stop. It'll make a grown man cryyyyyyy.
As for me in life, it was a day where 5-Pound Phooey ate 11 cicadas. 7 of these were in her tummy in the morning. I just find it insane that there is this inner hunter lurking within this little Yorkshire Terrier as I take her for walks. She'll stalk and then pounce on a cicada sleeping on the sidewalk since nights are spent for their mating moments. That annoying long eerie buzzing sound is not your vibrator but cicadas. Lots of love is up in them trees.
So, I must bid adieu as I say goodbye to another quiet weekend. Lucky for me, I got through it pretty fast by reading the screenplay for Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. You might remember it as the second half of that little flick called 'Grindhouse.' Nice to know a car full of tough females can dish it out with a guy that uses his car as a weapon. People tend to run when I show my obsession for Don Johnson's tragic song, "Heartbeat." Go ahead and Youtube it. I get goosebumps on how awfully good it gets as he takes himself seriously. Lookin' for a heartbeat. Would you play that on your vibrator iPod? We'll talk sex later when I get my pathetic music needs out of the way. Happy twats all around.
The traffic, along with this humid weather, was the worst! 40,000 students moved back in today so anywhere near the grocery stores or home improvement stores was a complete hassle. Funny how in my neighborhood it was the local high school girls in bikinis jumping up and down that had old men driving their SUVs and BMWs much slower than usual. Of course, that meant those car washes did much better than the ones where donations were wanted and parents did all the work. Old guys love to 'oggle the goodies' as Missy from the movie, Bring It On, said it best.
After getting through the hellacious traffic, I found that the bookstores had not one student in them. Hooray for the nerds spending more time hooking up their computers. It was just us locals curled up in Barnes and Borders while cafe workers offered free samples. Also, it was here that I see another magazine devotes some time to our misunderstood brown girl, M.I.A., as she tries to explain again why the U.S. would not renew her visa. It took Bono to bring her back after the U.S. deemed her as a possible terrorist.
Who? A beats making SECOND most favorite brown girl from Sri Lanka as a terrorist!?! If anything, we should bring M.I.A. and keep her, seeing as she tries new things when it comes to sounds instead of always relying on others to make them for her. Not only is this girl gorgeous but she's just fucking different in how she has the locals in her videos all while finding that one beat that moves her enough to freestyle the start. There is no credit card being slid down the crack of her ass.
M.I.A. has her ways. The only thing I hate about a magazine that considers itself to be for the female is this 'feminist' label. They always ask the interviewed subject about whether he/she sees itself as one. My Women In Society college teacher told me I am one. Made me laugh because it was the one class where 27 girls may have had me outgunned only to learn that I have a mouth from the south. Who would have thought that little old me would hold more power over 27 quiet girls as I defended homosexuals and denounced religion as nothing but something to oppress women. Still wish those girls had more to say than worry about what to wear since I really wanted a heavy debate.
I don't know. That kind of got thrown off as I typed that. Dammit, I hate it when I get sidetracked over so many subjects thrown at me at once. This tends to happen a lot since I type all my entries off the top of my head. Just go with me and not follow me.
So, this iPod vibrator is really taking off. Yeah, there is a major article found in the mag I picked up. Women, they have the niftiest gadgets for self-love, these days. I've always found vibrators and sex toys as something that pleases both sexes since I love to watch a woman masturbate. There's joy in watching various objects go in and out all while the air suddenly smells like cunt. Of course, it took Sara as being the first girl to allow me to watch since Kristan once told me that women masturbate best in private. Excuse me? Sara falls off the couch, bed, and chair. Who's gonna help dust her off and pep her back up after a bump on the noggin?
But the iPod vibrator.....fascinating thing that plays a pulse that goes with the song you've selected. Expect beats and not one long guitar solo, yo. The tester said that 50 Cent nearly killed her while Yoko Ono was just okay. I just cannot imagine a guy plugging in a plastic pussy that sucks like a vacuum cleaner the way the Rolling Stones get it going. If you start it up, he'll never stop. It'll make a grown man cryyyyyyy.
As for me in life, it was a day where 5-Pound Phooey ate 11 cicadas. 7 of these were in her tummy in the morning. I just find it insane that there is this inner hunter lurking within this little Yorkshire Terrier as I take her for walks. She'll stalk and then pounce on a cicada sleeping on the sidewalk since nights are spent for their mating moments. That annoying long eerie buzzing sound is not your vibrator but cicadas. Lots of love is up in them trees.
So, I must bid adieu as I say goodbye to another quiet weekend. Lucky for me, I got through it pretty fast by reading the screenplay for Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. You might remember it as the second half of that little flick called 'Grindhouse.' Nice to know a car full of tough females can dish it out with a guy that uses his car as a weapon. People tend to run when I show my obsession for Don Johnson's tragic song, "Heartbeat." Go ahead and Youtube it. I get goosebumps on how awfully good it gets as he takes himself seriously. Lookin' for a heartbeat. Would you play that on your vibrator iPod? We'll talk sex later when I get my pathetic music needs out of the way. Happy twats all around.
1 comment:
I'm not THAT out of the loop! M.I.A.'s pretty mainstream, no? A lot of people I know are fans, so I just assumed...
Are we entrenched in the culture of fear? Yes. Do I think it's out of line to refuse entrance to relatives of members of terrorist organizations? No. If it was an Al Qaeda member's relative, you wouldn't see Bono touching them with a ten-foot pole. At the end of the day, I hardly think she's a threat to America. But I don't know that we should put her above any security measures in place, just because she's cute and makes rap songs.
Good luck at the interview. :)
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