"Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?"
-Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
-Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
I've been sitting here wondering why I find pirates so amusing. Knowing me, it's just a matter of time til my warped mind finds a reason. I like pirates because they do things by their own code rather than following the latest reasoning for even the most absurd. Know this one: "We must fight them there so we don't have to fight them here." Apparently, a lot of Americans believe this completely stupid reasoning for the war in Iraq, especially for all those Republicans hoping to be elected to office in 2008. I forgot which Republican that stood against this, only to find himself with much criticism, was brave enough to ask that we rethink things. Could it be that we (yes, us) meddled in too many foreign affairs that caused Muslim extremists to want to harm us?
But we also need pirates in Hollywood. The ridiculous salaries being demanded by actors and actresses make me wonder why I should pay $9 to see any movie these days. It's like how Sara told me that with that kind of money you could almost buy the damn DVD. I'm fine with seeing flicks for free considering how Hollywood finds it perfectly alright to make major tweaks to my favorite characters while telling me that $100 million spent is well worth it. I'm sorry but I don't see the people that handle the lighting and real work like building the sets being given much gratitude all while stars absolutely must have 1,000's of dollars worth of extravagances. Does a poodle need a personal trainer? Keep the bootlegging of DVDs alive!
Yes, I finished Pirates Of the Caribbean: At World's End. Quite nice. Not only was it much better than the 2nd but full of the usual plot-holes and various events that left me scratching my head. I'm human so I can overlook things like that as long as I am having fun. Keira in a Chinese pirate outfit? Dashing! Lots of Jack Sparrows? I've had days like that where I felt like many little Hedgehoggies were ruining my ability to sit still and think. Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones was perfect! I say let there be pirates! It's too bad Disney did all this so it had to be all goody-goody. If sexy pirates is your game, there is a porn version by that name. Could a wooden leg be as valuable as a dildo for those long weeks that a wench must go without her captor?
My mum's surgery went fine. I forgot to mention this because it was so routine that it's almost like it didn't happen. Mum was gone from the morning til around 3pm. I'm not home much from that time either so it worked out fine that I dealt with the dogs and various errands. For some reason, her teacher friends sent her a card with $100 and gift cards. Guess who made a suggestion for the good type of fish sandwiches?
5-Pound Phooey and I had quite an adventure. I rescued a dog and she got her ass kicked by a cat. Want to read about it? Of course, you do! That's what being a part of this grand illusion is, that I'm sitting right down next to you and telling you these things. I'll whisper in your ear and hope you get wet with anticipation at the mere mention of a little dog and her insane excuse of a male.
A dog was loose while I was on my usual walk with 5-Pound Phooey. An Alaskan sled dog is no mere dog. It is THE dog I wish to own one day so there was no way I was going to allow for a chance that it would be hit by a car. I was impressed with how its eyesight was since it was a good distance away yet it saw us. 5-Pound Phooey did her usual stance to make herself look bigger while throwing out 4-letter doggy words. You know what's funny? When a large dog looks down at a small one and its eyes say:
"What the fuck?"
While crouching down, I looked at the collar for a possible address. Memorized it and motioned for the dog to follow me. Mind you, this is the point that I am carrying my little cursing ball of fur that is begging for an asskicking. Found the house and rang the doorbell. 5-Pound Phooey is now making it her point to further annoy the cat she has chased underneath the van next to me. Some hisses and several boinks where cat has smacked her to get its point known took place. If you've never seen a Yorkshire Terrier pissed, you'll know by the fucked up look thanks to hair being completely out of place. It was here that another quote took place thanks to 5-Pound Phooey:
"What the fuck?"
I have to say that 5-Pound Phooey was mighty quiet after getting her ass kicked underneath a van. Yes, I noticed the cat sitting in the driveway that she wanted to piss off but was more concerned about the dog needing to go home. Maybe this time 5-Pound Phooey will stop with her mouth. Who am I kidding? She hates every critter but loves people.
Got another application to fill out. Poop. I'm getting to the point where I'm pretty much fed up with not being able to be seen as employable. The one that really pissed me off was not getting the mock personal training job. Who else works out like I do? I'll get wealthy senior citizens off their lazy asses and in shape in no time.
Since I've been exploring all sorts of blogs, I came across one that begs me to question how a person gets this job. Did you know that porn companies hire pussy/ass washers? Oh....my, I would be so perfect! I mean, I love getting a girl squeaky clean prior to a romp in the sheets (or woods or car or office or pirate ship or copy machine) seeing as the sight of her bent over with legs spread invites for mucho perfection. Things so beautiful should not be allowed any kind of dirtiness (unless you are into that kind of thing, wink wink). I've read that a lot of men love to bathe women and I'm no different. Sara would be my letter of recommendation since she laughs, while bent over, at how I get hard while doing so. Women can be so spoiled seeing as men love to make an other wise annoying job like cleaning her ass so much fun since we are so obsessed with their holes.
Porn blogs are getting to be a mild guilty pleasure. I've always wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes so candid pictures of various women getting their make-up touched up, discussions as to where the cum is going, how much to sell soiled panties to fans, various lardass males in the background hoping to get laid, and actresses bent over getting cleaned up by the luckiest employees ever make it great. Keep up the good work and safe for rimming!
Oh, and, yes, I am still a little weirded out over Sara's dad walking in on that blowjob. It's a bit late to discuss how the possibility of getting caught in such behavior makes for more of a thrill. I'm still worn out. The cats, allergies, lack of sleep, and my right knee hurting have all take a toll on me. I've never been able to figure out how I can come back from something and insist on going right into my usual ridiculous need to exercise my demons away when its clear I need rest. All it takes is 5-Pound Phooey's little dark eyes..........Happy twats all around.
But we also need pirates in Hollywood. The ridiculous salaries being demanded by actors and actresses make me wonder why I should pay $9 to see any movie these days. It's like how Sara told me that with that kind of money you could almost buy the damn DVD. I'm fine with seeing flicks for free considering how Hollywood finds it perfectly alright to make major tweaks to my favorite characters while telling me that $100 million spent is well worth it. I'm sorry but I don't see the people that handle the lighting and real work like building the sets being given much gratitude all while stars absolutely must have 1,000's of dollars worth of extravagances. Does a poodle need a personal trainer? Keep the bootlegging of DVDs alive!
Yes, I finished Pirates Of the Caribbean: At World's End. Quite nice. Not only was it much better than the 2nd but full of the usual plot-holes and various events that left me scratching my head. I'm human so I can overlook things like that as long as I am having fun. Keira in a Chinese pirate outfit? Dashing! Lots of Jack Sparrows? I've had days like that where I felt like many little Hedgehoggies were ruining my ability to sit still and think. Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones was perfect! I say let there be pirates! It's too bad Disney did all this so it had to be all goody-goody. If sexy pirates is your game, there is a porn version by that name. Could a wooden leg be as valuable as a dildo for those long weeks that a wench must go without her captor?
My mum's surgery went fine. I forgot to mention this because it was so routine that it's almost like it didn't happen. Mum was gone from the morning til around 3pm. I'm not home much from that time either so it worked out fine that I dealt with the dogs and various errands. For some reason, her teacher friends sent her a card with $100 and gift cards. Guess who made a suggestion for the good type of fish sandwiches?
5-Pound Phooey and I had quite an adventure. I rescued a dog and she got her ass kicked by a cat. Want to read about it? Of course, you do! That's what being a part of this grand illusion is, that I'm sitting right down next to you and telling you these things. I'll whisper in your ear and hope you get wet with anticipation at the mere mention of a little dog and her insane excuse of a male.
A dog was loose while I was on my usual walk with 5-Pound Phooey. An Alaskan sled dog is no mere dog. It is THE dog I wish to own one day so there was no way I was going to allow for a chance that it would be hit by a car. I was impressed with how its eyesight was since it was a good distance away yet it saw us. 5-Pound Phooey did her usual stance to make herself look bigger while throwing out 4-letter doggy words. You know what's funny? When a large dog looks down at a small one and its eyes say:
"What the fuck?"
While crouching down, I looked at the collar for a possible address. Memorized it and motioned for the dog to follow me. Mind you, this is the point that I am carrying my little cursing ball of fur that is begging for an asskicking. Found the house and rang the doorbell. 5-Pound Phooey is now making it her point to further annoy the cat she has chased underneath the van next to me. Some hisses and several boinks where cat has smacked her to get its point known took place. If you've never seen a Yorkshire Terrier pissed, you'll know by the fucked up look thanks to hair being completely out of place. It was here that another quote took place thanks to 5-Pound Phooey:
"What the fuck?"
I have to say that 5-Pound Phooey was mighty quiet after getting her ass kicked underneath a van. Yes, I noticed the cat sitting in the driveway that she wanted to piss off but was more concerned about the dog needing to go home. Maybe this time 5-Pound Phooey will stop with her mouth. Who am I kidding? She hates every critter but loves people.
Got another application to fill out. Poop. I'm getting to the point where I'm pretty much fed up with not being able to be seen as employable. The one that really pissed me off was not getting the mock personal training job. Who else works out like I do? I'll get wealthy senior citizens off their lazy asses and in shape in no time.
Since I've been exploring all sorts of blogs, I came across one that begs me to question how a person gets this job. Did you know that porn companies hire pussy/ass washers? Oh....my, I would be so perfect! I mean, I love getting a girl squeaky clean prior to a romp in the sheets (or woods or car or office or pirate ship or copy machine) seeing as the sight of her bent over with legs spread invites for mucho perfection. Things so beautiful should not be allowed any kind of dirtiness (unless you are into that kind of thing, wink wink). I've read that a lot of men love to bathe women and I'm no different. Sara would be my letter of recommendation since she laughs, while bent over, at how I get hard while doing so. Women can be so spoiled seeing as men love to make an other wise annoying job like cleaning her ass so much fun since we are so obsessed with their holes.
Porn blogs are getting to be a mild guilty pleasure. I've always wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes so candid pictures of various women getting their make-up touched up, discussions as to where the cum is going, how much to sell soiled panties to fans, various lardass males in the background hoping to get laid, and actresses bent over getting cleaned up by the luckiest employees ever make it great. Keep up the good work and safe for rimming!
Oh, and, yes, I am still a little weirded out over Sara's dad walking in on that blowjob. It's a bit late to discuss how the possibility of getting caught in such behavior makes for more of a thrill. I'm still worn out. The cats, allergies, lack of sleep, and my right knee hurting have all take a toll on me. I've never been able to figure out how I can come back from something and insist on going right into my usual ridiculous need to exercise my demons away when its clear I need rest. All it takes is 5-Pound Phooey's little dark eyes..........Happy twats all around.
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