"Male bonding involves a lot of alcohol and repeated vomitting to forget the word 'love' being thrown around."
-Me
-Me
Well, I can assure you that I did not vomit. What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that I was drunk. A better word would be D-R-U-N-K. That's best in describing how I felt, bloated and a bit on the blabbering side. Take a balloon and place a rock inside, one that's about 200something pounds. That's how I felt when I came home and pretty much all weekend.
Like I said, I don't get the drinking lifestyle. Sure, I've had many times where I've been out of it thanks to 10 Coronas or more 'Natty Lights' than I could handle. It's just that drinking is not something I crave nor do I think much on it. While it's nice to have a cold Corona with a Mexican dinner or just to sit out underneath the stars with one, I don't need to down the whole 6-pack or half the 24-pack that many college students seem to have no problem doing. Oh, and beer bongs make my throat burn.
When in Rome.......yes, I do adapt to the lifestyle just for that moment. What can I say? I've lived the life of a southerner and it involves lots of beer, cheap beer that gets better after every hour. Just how many did I have? Don't know. You'd have to sort through the large pile of beer cans to figure that out. It was a large pile so you're going to have to take some time off of work.
But I'm so glad to be home. Bald-O wanted me there for another night (not surprising). We talk about the most insane things and the love in the room gets more enhanced. That's why I think a lot of homophobic men get drunk. It's to forget the fact that 'love' is a word described for the feeling of being with people that would do anything for you. Although there was no hugging, I'm always at ease when I'm in Bald-O's trailer. Lived with that fucker for 2 years and have known him longer.
Life down south is far different and a bit too excessive for me. I certainly do not condone throwing out empty beer cases and cans but that's them. Places we drive through can be marked by the 'Natty Lights' as bread crumbs. While I am labeled as 'immature' by my boys, they continue to not understand that littering is bad and strippers really aren't considered 'girlfriends' no matter how many times she rubbed her tits in their faces.
Bald-O's parents love me. Pretty much every parent does when I'm placed in an environment with them for a period of time. I'm always considered for adoption but with issues. No one can say the shit I do without fear. How many of you can do what I mentioned in my past entry? Bald-O's dad was seriously red in the face when I said that he had a big johnson after his wife told me his age. Good guy. Should have known that I do what I do because it was just itching to come out after he had already said it to me as a joke. We're all dirty jokesters.
In some ways, I am kind of mad at Bald-O. No girlfriend. Chews a lot. Smokes a lot. Drinks a lot. Is it any wonder he's still single and I hate how he acts like visiting strip joints is the best thing to do. As fun once in a while? Fine by me. Sara loves them. It's just that I'd rather see him with an actual girl rather than someone paid to entertain him. Then again, I'm probably the only guy that pays attention to a stripper's muscle tone rather than just on her tits and ass. Don't get me wrong. I'm in love with pussy but I also have a side that enjoys seeing how people take care of their bodies.
So, I drank. We've covered that part. It's a good thing that there was an acoustic guitar to play around with. Kept me busy when I played imaginary songs in my head as the boys discussed whether how many girls a guy has bedded is a good thing. Other times, I joined in by embarassing one of the many visitors we had by asking if he ever ate out his girlfriend. You would, too, if you had to listen to this guy brag about pounding his girl doggy style every 5-minutes. Doesn't any of these guys ever make sure his girl cums? The best part was when a guy came by with his girl and started saying goofy shit to me. Just before he left, I asked him up front whether he was 'gettin' sum.' The girl's face turned red just as his did, too. Man, I love the power of feeling alright with getting extra dirty with people that try to annoy me.
Guys are fun. There's all sorts of debates when alcohol is consumed in mass quantities. Whose panties would you sniff? Which porn star is the best? Have you ever been fingered? My personal favorite was when I was asked how many girls I've bedded. Bald-O's jaws dropped when I read off the names. Let's just say I am way ahead of him and his little brother. To me, though, it's the quality, one who challenges you in mind but loves to bend over and show you everything between her legs at anytime. Told you I am a total lover of vagina, perfume and all.
It's because alcohol makes you horny. At least, it did for me this weekend. It's a good thing I had the guitar to play around with or I'd be blurting out filthy things all day and night. I would have loved to have watched Sara go down on me as I awoke to see that morning wood politely settled in. Either that or I'd love to try and 69 her on Bald-O's lazy-boy chair. Have you ever seen us guys piss with morning wood? It's so hard to do without washing the windows or the wall. Even worse when there is that total desire to fuck.
But there was that bloating factor. I hated looking at myself in the mirror, a few brand new zits and a hangover the second day. My stomach felt like I was carrying a couple litters of puppies.
It is great having a best friend that really has my back. That's pretty much all I need in life and, yes, Bald-O knows my issues with him. We have different lifestyles but somehow we overlook them and just adapt. He doesn't know that I read a lot and insist on more than just 'Playboy' as something to read in the bathroom. I always thought of Bald-O as more a 'Hustler' type-o-guy.
"We're sophisticated"
Good answer but you'd think that any girl visiting the bathroom would rather read something other than 'Sports Illustrated,' 'Maxim,' and 'Playboy.' Plus, that last time at Bald-O's had no t.p. and I think it finally got through to him that those cheerleaders used his towel. I'm certainly not going to dis the reading material because all have a place. It's just that I get a kick out of how it's so frat boy friendly throughout the trailer that it's no wonder Sara is scared of visiting. She'd have no problem discussing penises, semen, pussy, and tits, though. My girlfriend is far more x-rated than these guys.
If you've got the time, what reading material would you like to find in a guy's bathroom? I'm curious, really, really curious. Archie comics? 'War And Peace?' 'Club International?' Comic strip collections?
So, I'm outta here after still not getting enough sleep. Allergies have me wake up at really late hours to sneeze. My dog's death has me constantly missing her, all those little antics of hers. Ellie-Mae was so good, the type of dog a lot of people would like. Thanks for wishing me well as I hate how I missed seeing her right before her death. The Meatball Story will live on. Happy twats all around.
Like I said, I don't get the drinking lifestyle. Sure, I've had many times where I've been out of it thanks to 10 Coronas or more 'Natty Lights' than I could handle. It's just that drinking is not something I crave nor do I think much on it. While it's nice to have a cold Corona with a Mexican dinner or just to sit out underneath the stars with one, I don't need to down the whole 6-pack or half the 24-pack that many college students seem to have no problem doing. Oh, and beer bongs make my throat burn.
When in Rome.......yes, I do adapt to the lifestyle just for that moment. What can I say? I've lived the life of a southerner and it involves lots of beer, cheap beer that gets better after every hour. Just how many did I have? Don't know. You'd have to sort through the large pile of beer cans to figure that out. It was a large pile so you're going to have to take some time off of work.
But I'm so glad to be home. Bald-O wanted me there for another night (not surprising). We talk about the most insane things and the love in the room gets more enhanced. That's why I think a lot of homophobic men get drunk. It's to forget the fact that 'love' is a word described for the feeling of being with people that would do anything for you. Although there was no hugging, I'm always at ease when I'm in Bald-O's trailer. Lived with that fucker for 2 years and have known him longer.
Life down south is far different and a bit too excessive for me. I certainly do not condone throwing out empty beer cases and cans but that's them. Places we drive through can be marked by the 'Natty Lights' as bread crumbs. While I am labeled as 'immature' by my boys, they continue to not understand that littering is bad and strippers really aren't considered 'girlfriends' no matter how many times she rubbed her tits in their faces.
Bald-O's parents love me. Pretty much every parent does when I'm placed in an environment with them for a period of time. I'm always considered for adoption but with issues. No one can say the shit I do without fear. How many of you can do what I mentioned in my past entry? Bald-O's dad was seriously red in the face when I said that he had a big johnson after his wife told me his age. Good guy. Should have known that I do what I do because it was just itching to come out after he had already said it to me as a joke. We're all dirty jokesters.
In some ways, I am kind of mad at Bald-O. No girlfriend. Chews a lot. Smokes a lot. Drinks a lot. Is it any wonder he's still single and I hate how he acts like visiting strip joints is the best thing to do. As fun once in a while? Fine by me. Sara loves them. It's just that I'd rather see him with an actual girl rather than someone paid to entertain him. Then again, I'm probably the only guy that pays attention to a stripper's muscle tone rather than just on her tits and ass. Don't get me wrong. I'm in love with pussy but I also have a side that enjoys seeing how people take care of their bodies.
So, I drank. We've covered that part. It's a good thing that there was an acoustic guitar to play around with. Kept me busy when I played imaginary songs in my head as the boys discussed whether how many girls a guy has bedded is a good thing. Other times, I joined in by embarassing one of the many visitors we had by asking if he ever ate out his girlfriend. You would, too, if you had to listen to this guy brag about pounding his girl doggy style every 5-minutes. Doesn't any of these guys ever make sure his girl cums? The best part was when a guy came by with his girl and started saying goofy shit to me. Just before he left, I asked him up front whether he was 'gettin' sum.' The girl's face turned red just as his did, too. Man, I love the power of feeling alright with getting extra dirty with people that try to annoy me.
Guys are fun. There's all sorts of debates when alcohol is consumed in mass quantities. Whose panties would you sniff? Which porn star is the best? Have you ever been fingered? My personal favorite was when I was asked how many girls I've bedded. Bald-O's jaws dropped when I read off the names. Let's just say I am way ahead of him and his little brother. To me, though, it's the quality, one who challenges you in mind but loves to bend over and show you everything between her legs at anytime. Told you I am a total lover of vagina, perfume and all.
It's because alcohol makes you horny. At least, it did for me this weekend. It's a good thing I had the guitar to play around with or I'd be blurting out filthy things all day and night. I would have loved to have watched Sara go down on me as I awoke to see that morning wood politely settled in. Either that or I'd love to try and 69 her on Bald-O's lazy-boy chair. Have you ever seen us guys piss with morning wood? It's so hard to do without washing the windows or the wall. Even worse when there is that total desire to fuck.
But there was that bloating factor. I hated looking at myself in the mirror, a few brand new zits and a hangover the second day. My stomach felt like I was carrying a couple litters of puppies.
It is great having a best friend that really has my back. That's pretty much all I need in life and, yes, Bald-O knows my issues with him. We have different lifestyles but somehow we overlook them and just adapt. He doesn't know that I read a lot and insist on more than just 'Playboy' as something to read in the bathroom. I always thought of Bald-O as more a 'Hustler' type-o-guy.
"We're sophisticated"
Good answer but you'd think that any girl visiting the bathroom would rather read something other than 'Sports Illustrated,' 'Maxim,' and 'Playboy.' Plus, that last time at Bald-O's had no t.p. and I think it finally got through to him that those cheerleaders used his towel. I'm certainly not going to dis the reading material because all have a place. It's just that I get a kick out of how it's so frat boy friendly throughout the trailer that it's no wonder Sara is scared of visiting. She'd have no problem discussing penises, semen, pussy, and tits, though. My girlfriend is far more x-rated than these guys.
If you've got the time, what reading material would you like to find in a guy's bathroom? I'm curious, really, really curious. Archie comics? 'War And Peace?' 'Club International?' Comic strip collections?
So, I'm outta here after still not getting enough sleep. Allergies have me wake up at really late hours to sneeze. My dog's death has me constantly missing her, all those little antics of hers. Ellie-Mae was so good, the type of dog a lot of people would like. Thanks for wishing me well as I hate how I missed seeing her right before her death. The Meatball Story will live on. Happy twats all around.
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