"Private bonership"
-Bill Maher (better wording on gay marriage in order to confuse the religious)
-Bill Maher (better wording on gay marriage in order to confuse the religious)
Just a few minutes ago, I was staring up at the ceiling while watching Bill Maher's Real Time. Of course, you all know it's one of my favorite shows thanks to pay cable's allowing him to cuss. A small, actually tiny, motion caught my eye. Anything where Paula Poundstone (why is she considered a comedian? So not funny) is on as a guest will have me staring off so the spider making its way down a single strand of webbing was made known. It was here that I played around with it to see how shy the spider was. Each time I placed my palm upwards to allow a landing pad, it would go back up to the ceiling. 2 times. See? Spiders are shy and should be ignored. Plus, they eat those fucking flies that harass me when I smell all sweaty stinky on summer days.
I'm depressed. I don't know how else to put it, folks. The not-feeling-well-upon-waking blues came about and got worse. A phone message came that told me I didn't get the mock personal training job. Poop. Just makes me want to kick pebbles into a pond all day.
Things don't get much worse for me in my lack of understanding why I don't get to help wealthy old farts work out. Not only do I work out in a gym where arrogant bodybuilders think that all women lust for them so that I can most likely deal with folks that crapped their britches upon entering the room but I've been working out since I was in 7th Grade. It took me years and years of my own personal research that some people think a 4-year degree can cover. Life confuses me in how a guy that looks okay and with a little bit of flab and a degree is hired over someone that has done so for life all while veins are obvious as there is too little fat to hide them. I've always thought more on people with personal experience rather than a classroom because so many people are basically just telling the professor what he/she wants to hear in order to get a good grade.
But it's not just the job loss. I've been down in the dumps for some time this week. There is a possibility of many reasons: not liking myself, anger over this stupid war, disappearance of 9 billion bees (who's gonna pollinate us?), Americans are sheep, and that 4 people had the nerve to tell us that Paris Hilton should be free. Just how desperate are we to take time out to not let nature take its course? Bees are good. Paris is not.
I'm depressed. I don't know how else to put it, folks. The not-feeling-well-upon-waking blues came about and got worse. A phone message came that told me I didn't get the mock personal training job. Poop. Just makes me want to kick pebbles into a pond all day.
Things don't get much worse for me in my lack of understanding why I don't get to help wealthy old farts work out. Not only do I work out in a gym where arrogant bodybuilders think that all women lust for them so that I can most likely deal with folks that crapped their britches upon entering the room but I've been working out since I was in 7th Grade. It took me years and years of my own personal research that some people think a 4-year degree can cover. Life confuses me in how a guy that looks okay and with a little bit of flab and a degree is hired over someone that has done so for life all while veins are obvious as there is too little fat to hide them. I've always thought more on people with personal experience rather than a classroom because so many people are basically just telling the professor what he/she wants to hear in order to get a good grade.
But it's not just the job loss. I've been down in the dumps for some time this week. There is a possibility of many reasons: not liking myself, anger over this stupid war, disappearance of 9 billion bees (who's gonna pollinate us?), Americans are sheep, and that 4 people had the nerve to tell us that Paris Hilton should be free. Just how desperate are we to take time out to not let nature take its course? Bees are good. Paris is not.
Life does have a way of looking up. Chicago is holding it's annual Wizard World Convention and my heart nearly skipped a beat on knowing who's there. I absolutely LOVE the TV show, Veronica Mars. Knowing that its lead actress, Kristen Bell will be there means I must find any way possible to get my picture with her and an autograph where she tells me that my manly pecs make her melt. Oh, lordy do I smell a need for a road trip of the weirdest kind because I must find my way through 6,000 virgins with no clue as to where a girl's pussy hole is but can configure their mothers' remote controls to accept voice-recognition.
It feels weird to meet someone famous that you watch on TV or in the movies. The supermodel I met 2 years ago looked only slightly like what I saw on the TV. Pretty, yes, but just different to my masculine blue eyes. Kristen Bell..........it just makes me want to know where Wallace is or if Keith is on a bust where someone placed a lil' 'white stuff' in a rival's Batman utility belt. Lindsay Lohan would be my first suspect., of course. This all depends on what Sara says seeing as we'll also be going to Chicago for the new Harry Potter book on July 21st. Come say hi or gag me with a spoon as I get animated on how many 10-year-olds that I knocked down with my amazing palms of fury.
Oh, and I'm told that I should dress up as Harry Potter. Wouldn't that be something? Harry got a little thickness in the ol' arms but with the same old 'bird legs.' Plus, he got a much weirder hairstyle that will really bring out the scar on his forehead. The only magic words that this Harry Potter can mutter is this: 'Stupify!' I'm gonna be so fucked against someone dressed as Snape as he hits me on the back of the head with a ruler, book, or potted plant.
So, I'll end here as I don't want to sound like a freak for a TV show. Even Kevin Smith of Clerks fame will be in Chicago for Wizard World. Seen Clerks? Clerks 2? Jay And Silent Bob? If so, this is the point you start to play with your nipples in a lusty manner as 'Fresh Horses' starts to play on a boombox. Happy twats all around.
Oh, and I'm told that I should dress up as Harry Potter. Wouldn't that be something? Harry got a little thickness in the ol' arms but with the same old 'bird legs.' Plus, he got a much weirder hairstyle that will really bring out the scar on his forehead. The only magic words that this Harry Potter can mutter is this: 'Stupify!' I'm gonna be so fucked against someone dressed as Snape as he hits me on the back of the head with a ruler, book, or potted plant.
So, I'll end here as I don't want to sound like a freak for a TV show. Even Kevin Smith of Clerks fame will be in Chicago for Wizard World. Seen Clerks? Clerks 2? Jay And Silent Bob? If so, this is the point you start to play with your nipples in a lusty manner as 'Fresh Horses' starts to play on a boombox. Happy twats all around.
1 comment:
Erm, I thought you had a degree as well...
You should dress up as Harry Potter, it would really exemplify your previous "Americans are sheep" comment. :D
lol, my next entry was going to blast Bill Maher.
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