Origin

So, this is my first posting for my new blog. Goodbye, Diaryland........

How does one pop a blog cherry? Why, with an introduction, of course! It's life as easy as it gets for the cyber-aged.

My name is Mike and I come all the way from a world that many of us called 'Diaryland.' Over 5 years was spent in that place, one of chaos, good times, and arguments. It's only a matter of time til I get chewed out by uber-feminists or told that I need to be replaced by a robot with better social manners. Hell, I've seen a pile of dirt that behaves better than I do.

The way I see it, I come from a long line of bad puddy-tats and only now do I feel a calming effect. My first kiss was by a girl named Veronica. She kicked me when I fell during a soccer match and it was love at first sight. Who knew that the best way to my heart was a good beating. You could say that my love of being smacked on the bare bottom emphasizes this.

When I look back, I see that I was one of the lucky ones. We weren't obsessed with cell phones, computers, or video games. Sure, Nintendo occupied a lot of our time but there were hours spent chasing lightning bugs, spying on girls, rolling around in dirt, football, and calling each other names we didn't quite understand. It's only now that I realize I, as a guy, don't mind being called a 'lesbian.' Back then, I guess we boys only majored in dirt. We saw a lot of dirt.

Long ago, my fears were whether the neighbors' cats took their dumps in my sandbox, getting cooties from girls, and if a girl saw my underwear. Times change. I no longer have a sandbox, girls don't have cooties, and, if you want to see my underwear, just ask. My friends from college used to tell me that my love of eating pussy could give me cooties. I don't listen to them, seeing as those that still follow that ruling are single. A boy must eat pussy like his life depended on it.

It's nice to be a part of a generation where we were given common sense. You could either chalk all that up to the nuns that taught me or my mother's tough yet fair stance. That's not to say I had my little problem child moments. All boys try to look up girls' dresses or talk back to their mothers. It's when you lose the bathroom pass, the nuns get tired of creating a new one, and instead given a large piece of wood. Do you know how funny it is to look back and realize that I had to carry a log to the restroom?

As I sit here and look out the window, I realize that I'm a whole lot different than I was last year. My confidence is much higher and I enjoy getting more out of life. A part of this comes from having a lil' dog named 5-Pound Phooey that you'll hear about. Be it, squirrels, poodles, and rabbits, I'm ordered to move faster because according to her, "We've gotta beat the holy hell out of those bastards! Squirrels and poodles are taking over the world!"

So, this is just a beginning to something that just might fall into a loooooong stay. I don't miss Diaryland but I'll keep my account to check in on some people. Like a good long friendship, it's hard to part no matter how many beer bottles are thrown at the wall. Diaryland felt like a dying tree after it was left to whither away. There was no possibility for it to evolve. My only issue is how amazing some of these blogs are on Blogspot, seeing as I've yet to dabble with pictures, etc.
I'm outta here and happy that I've made my first step into the pond. There will be plenty of 4-letter words, pathetic ramblings of a white boy, sexuality, and badass antics. Happy twats all around.