"Ultrarooster, you are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick that wants to bathe you with her tongue."
-Varsity Blues
-Varsity Blues
I know most of you have not watched the movie, Varsity Blues, seeing as it's about a high school football team that's filled with the basic characters we all know. I'll get into that in a minute to try and give you an idea why every time I see this movie, I get all teary-eyed.
I've had a slightly bad day. Not something like a say........a water main breaking or being on the receiving end where I have a gun held to my head ordering me to lick the toe cheese off of a midget that just decided to walk around a dog park. It was more along the lines of me wondering whether I will actually be able to get to my destination on time. First, it was being directed elsewhere thanks to an accident (Ma'am, you go left when the turn signal is green) on the main road. Fine. Taking the different road brings me to a construction site that, thanks to a large mack truck, I didn't realize was going on. Stuck til some kind person lets me know that my screaming and cursing myself means something. All done? Nope, had to wait thanks to a train. The rest of the ride was me wondering what will happen next.
Oh, I did get to my destination on time only to find that the lady I talked to about employment doesn't even remember me. Go me. Is it any wonder I've got this huge urge to sit in the car all by myself and twist and shout til someone tells me life gets better? That would be a dangerous statement to make at that particular time because then I'd take all the shopping carts and go all Jackass by asking senior citizens to give me a push into the small pond.
Want more? The gym's urinal exploded for.........oh,.....the 3rd time. There is nothing as refreshing as the smell of fresh urine combined with carpet. Nothing. The locker room is not the best place to change into gym clothes (torn up t-shirts and long baggy AJ shorts) when there is that smell and a massive puddle to avoid. I don't know what it is. Atomic pee is not something that comes out of me even though I have had some moments where I've been clocked at over a minute. That's when I put a hand to the wall for I need rest.
My day's only highlight? The geese up north in the shopping area had many nests. It was only a matter of time before I'd see the results. While driving home from getting gas and the new 'GQ' (Oh, Jessica Alba, you dumb but pretty! Pretty!), a whole squad of goslings were accompanied by their parents. The best part was when I went by for the final time. They were all huddled into a mass due to the cold wind. It's moments like these that remind you life is so much more important than trains, construction sites, and stupid drivers that drive you to the possibility of asking senior citizens to push you into a pond. I'm pretty weird (or creative, whichever you choose) when I'm mad.
So, I'm going to be gone tomorrow. Sara says it's time for me to go see the boys and do boy stuff because I've been hanging around far too many girls. Let me tell ya, there aint no party like a Pride & Prejudice party.
Varsity Blues is a movie that reminds me of my life with the boys, Bald-O, Mark, Cory, Blondie, Jason, and Big Jason. I was basically the Tweeder character, all goofiness and very mouthy with a taste for the ladies. It's only years later that I became the other character, Mox, more realistic and consistently sweet. Of course, I was sweet back then, too, but give me 10 beers while living in the dorm and I'm the guy that makes people's jaws drop.
I don't know. The best way to put it would be that everyone that Bald-O has introduced me to back then is now a friend for life down south. Mark, a friend from long ago, is the guy whom asked me to usher at his wedding. Tuck just knows that I need another beer and something to keep the girls away from me that tend to push their boyfriends away and sweet talk me into dirty dancing with them. Bald-O's sister? Let's just say I make someone that is so quiet laugh a bit more. Tweeder drank a lot of beer? Well, I drank a lot of beer.
But I did grow up a bit. I'm more quiet and less prone to accidental outbursts where I will just tell a group of guys how amazing it is to seduce a girl with your tongue. Those times were fun but, with the fact that a lot of people are married off and gone, I've seen the need to recite cartoon quotes and think more about Saturday mornings watching Scooby-Doo.
Bald-O's just someone you don't forget. When he and I were walking out to his jeep on the last day of school, he told me that the reason so many people in the dorm like us was because there is so much character within us. Forget my blue eyes. What you need is someone that makes you feel good and trusting in letting out things. That's us. Bald-O will tell you loads of embarassing stories about me in college. The important thing is that no one can forget them all because we did it all together.
1). Threw up on Mark's shoes on my 25th birthday and then thrown out of the bar.
2). Jumped into an apartment's pool at 2am only to shiver the rest of the night on a couch with the others.
3). Believe it or not, we all cried at some point.
4). Visited a psychiatric ward after Big Jason tried to kill himself over a girl rejecting him. Made Big Jason laugh over my antics at the bar crawl because I got a crowd of people to chant "Go white boy, go!" during my drunken dirty dancing with an unknown girl.
There's just so much history between us, the boys of 6C. You could call it the perfect assigning in regards to the personalities of the people living there. I first met Bald-O when he told me there was a floor meeting and it was all downhill from there. People come and go but we've felt like it's been forever and a day. I'm promised to be in Bald-O's wedding if there is a girl crazy enough to actually allow him to bed her. Drinking and chewing is no way to go through life.
So, I'm gonna leave you here as I try to settle myself on the 2 hours and 45 minutes of driving to Cow Town. I hate that drive but the immediate sitting down with a cold one makes it all worth it. The more beers we have, the more Bald-O and I sound like we're shouting to each other. Just talkin', k? Would you believe my mom calls him up just to chat and his mom always makes me feel like she wants to adopt me? Happy twats all around.
I've had a slightly bad day. Not something like a say........a water main breaking or being on the receiving end where I have a gun held to my head ordering me to lick the toe cheese off of a midget that just decided to walk around a dog park. It was more along the lines of me wondering whether I will actually be able to get to my destination on time. First, it was being directed elsewhere thanks to an accident (Ma'am, you go left when the turn signal is green) on the main road. Fine. Taking the different road brings me to a construction site that, thanks to a large mack truck, I didn't realize was going on. Stuck til some kind person lets me know that my screaming and cursing myself means something. All done? Nope, had to wait thanks to a train. The rest of the ride was me wondering what will happen next.
Oh, I did get to my destination on time only to find that the lady I talked to about employment doesn't even remember me. Go me. Is it any wonder I've got this huge urge to sit in the car all by myself and twist and shout til someone tells me life gets better? That would be a dangerous statement to make at that particular time because then I'd take all the shopping carts and go all Jackass by asking senior citizens to give me a push into the small pond.
Want more? The gym's urinal exploded for.........oh,.....the 3rd time. There is nothing as refreshing as the smell of fresh urine combined with carpet. Nothing. The locker room is not the best place to change into gym clothes (torn up t-shirts and long baggy AJ shorts) when there is that smell and a massive puddle to avoid. I don't know what it is. Atomic pee is not something that comes out of me even though I have had some moments where I've been clocked at over a minute. That's when I put a hand to the wall for I need rest.
My day's only highlight? The geese up north in the shopping area had many nests. It was only a matter of time before I'd see the results. While driving home from getting gas and the new 'GQ' (Oh, Jessica Alba, you dumb but pretty! Pretty!), a whole squad of goslings were accompanied by their parents. The best part was when I went by for the final time. They were all huddled into a mass due to the cold wind. It's moments like these that remind you life is so much more important than trains, construction sites, and stupid drivers that drive you to the possibility of asking senior citizens to push you into a pond. I'm pretty weird (or creative, whichever you choose) when I'm mad.
So, I'm going to be gone tomorrow. Sara says it's time for me to go see the boys and do boy stuff because I've been hanging around far too many girls. Let me tell ya, there aint no party like a Pride & Prejudice party.
Varsity Blues is a movie that reminds me of my life with the boys, Bald-O, Mark, Cory, Blondie, Jason, and Big Jason. I was basically the Tweeder character, all goofiness and very mouthy with a taste for the ladies. It's only years later that I became the other character, Mox, more realistic and consistently sweet. Of course, I was sweet back then, too, but give me 10 beers while living in the dorm and I'm the guy that makes people's jaws drop.
I don't know. The best way to put it would be that everyone that Bald-O has introduced me to back then is now a friend for life down south. Mark, a friend from long ago, is the guy whom asked me to usher at his wedding. Tuck just knows that I need another beer and something to keep the girls away from me that tend to push their boyfriends away and sweet talk me into dirty dancing with them. Bald-O's sister? Let's just say I make someone that is so quiet laugh a bit more. Tweeder drank a lot of beer? Well, I drank a lot of beer.
But I did grow up a bit. I'm more quiet and less prone to accidental outbursts where I will just tell a group of guys how amazing it is to seduce a girl with your tongue. Those times were fun but, with the fact that a lot of people are married off and gone, I've seen the need to recite cartoon quotes and think more about Saturday mornings watching Scooby-Doo.
Bald-O's just someone you don't forget. When he and I were walking out to his jeep on the last day of school, he told me that the reason so many people in the dorm like us was because there is so much character within us. Forget my blue eyes. What you need is someone that makes you feel good and trusting in letting out things. That's us. Bald-O will tell you loads of embarassing stories about me in college. The important thing is that no one can forget them all because we did it all together.
1). Threw up on Mark's shoes on my 25th birthday and then thrown out of the bar.
2). Jumped into an apartment's pool at 2am only to shiver the rest of the night on a couch with the others.
3). Believe it or not, we all cried at some point.
4). Visited a psychiatric ward after Big Jason tried to kill himself over a girl rejecting him. Made Big Jason laugh over my antics at the bar crawl because I got a crowd of people to chant "Go white boy, go!" during my drunken dirty dancing with an unknown girl.
There's just so much history between us, the boys of 6C. You could call it the perfect assigning in regards to the personalities of the people living there. I first met Bald-O when he told me there was a floor meeting and it was all downhill from there. People come and go but we've felt like it's been forever and a day. I'm promised to be in Bald-O's wedding if there is a girl crazy enough to actually allow him to bed her. Drinking and chewing is no way to go through life.
So, I'm gonna leave you here as I try to settle myself on the 2 hours and 45 minutes of driving to Cow Town. I hate that drive but the immediate sitting down with a cold one makes it all worth it. The more beers we have, the more Bald-O and I sound like we're shouting to each other. Just talkin', k? Would you believe my mom calls him up just to chat and his mom always makes me feel like she wants to adopt me? Happy twats all around.
No comments:
Post a Comment