From My Cold Tired Heart

"And it's old and old it's sad and old and weary I go back to you, my cold father, my cold mad father......"

-'Finnegans Wake' by James Joyce

Took me years to figure the damn thing out. Why did adults always find Christmas Day as something to be spent sleeping or nodding off so easily? I mean, there's the whole day to play! No school! No menacing nun to tell you to give her a kiss on the cheek when you say 'hundred-and-one' rather than 'one-hundred-one!' There's sledding to be done! Lo and behold, just about every adult I physically looked up to was taking a nap.

While there might be a few of you that may question this, I feel a bit different in how I see Christmas. I may not enjoy the Holidays like I used. Working 4 years in retail can do that to a person. It's become more and more something I can freely say that I want a nap. I'm tired. No more driving home and finding myself stuck in traffic because everyone decided to go shopping in the middle of the day. No more whiny kids losing their sense of direction while I walk a straight line to where I want to go to and get out. It's over and I want a nap.

It used to be I would have some sort of plan to attack the presents located underneath the tree. Why not? They had my name on them, by jove! To this boy, it's just plain as day poison that I must take. Take a peak, will I? Move a small bit of tape out of the way to see what it is. Damn, Mum got it right. No more being good to the nuns that I had to kiss on the cheek. Bitches reeked of coffee.

No more presents. I couldn't care less. It's all about showing up at the girlfriend's parents' house. Be obedient and show some sort of smarts. Dress nice. None of that rugged shit where yo' damn drawers are showing. Cold air gives you a definite need for something buttoned up. I love it. Now, I need a nap. Where shall I begin?

So, I'm hoping this gives a good enough reason to end this entry. Drove home, played with little dog that shook her butt in an excited manner as I walked in the door, unpacked, talked to parents, went to work, and ate leftovers. Sure, other things happened. One of them being a big deal that I'll tell tomorrow. Yeah, it left me speechless because it just happened out of the blue. Push-ups and planning can wear a guy down to nothing. Happy twats all around.