No Cookie For You

"I used to be a nun, you see. I thought physics could be done to the glory of God, till I saw there wasn't any God at all and that physics was more interesting anyway. The Christian religion is a very powerful and convincing mistake, that's all."

-The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman

My mother knows how to hit me hard. Why she continues to do it, I do not know. The problem happens when she makes special treats, things with chocolate that I cannot eat. Nothing for me. My mother said mine would be some little thing I place in the microwave. Apparently, I am not worthy to eat anything that's worth making.

Now you see why I'm pretty much fine with leaving here for Christmas. It would be spent at Sara's instead of here where I feel as if I'm only worth a quick heating. According to the job schedule, I work on Sunday but am off Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, time spent where Sara's parents make me feel so good about myself. Trust me. It is dysfunctional here, with things I haven't talked about. Some of it could be my mum's depression but that's no excuse to bake things for others but leave one child without, especially one that misses chocolate so much that he'd kill for an M&M.

I'm guessing you may or may not see why I'm a little bit depressed. This tends to happen more so when I'm tired and, yes, I am extremely tired thanks to work, my workout, and a little dog that now has too much energy to run off thanks to the weather being awful for walkies. Up and down the hall is 5-Pound Phooey in a huff while carrying her favorite squeaky toy to taunt me with. Where do dogs find this feeling of fun when it comes to fetch? Sometimes, 5-Pound Phooey likes to lay in the hall to just squeak the toy like a harmonica.

Our church has taken it upon itself to warn people about this movie, The Golden Compass. Funny. It all has to do with the worry of kids being able to think for themselves. Might they find that being feeble-minded is not for them? Might they find that there are better things than to live as hocus-pocus sees it? It's funny how all this is to me because in private Catholic school, it was installed into us that Ronald Reagan was the best choice of president. Sorry to say this. I believed it.

Choice. Why can't people be allowed to think for themselves? Sure, The Golden Compass might not be as great in telling Phillip Pullman's story due to leaving many things out. Maybe it's not a great flick. Period. But why is it such an issue that kids might see the actual evils of the Church? Could it be that its pull in politics is becoming all too apparent? Might we be seeing how people with certain hatreds and bigotry use it for their own purposes? I mean, how can you not see the ignorance of a church going woman holding up a sign that reads "God Hates Fags' all because she hates homosexuality?

Let's get into something more positive. I'm already bored with the discussion on religion simply because it brings up a lot of bad memories. Yes, I was brain-washed and didn't fully understand this until I spent many hours having a discussion with the woman who took my virginity, Kristan. See? Sex can make a person better by showing him that an orgasm is a good thing instead of being something shameful.

Sara's party was very, very nice. My girlfriend was an incredible host in greeting everyone to make them feel right at home. Not one person was left to stand or sit alone. Good grief! It was a meeting of nerds, geeks, dweebs, losers, and all-around weirdos that could bond and enjoy how much they love Family Guy.

I still don't get that show but I'm trying.

As I was saying to one of those at the party, I went from parties, to keggers, to booze-cruises, and now to fondue. Mind you, this was my first time enjoying fondue. Oh boy, have I calmed the fuck down by not getting drunk and talking to myself in front of a wall (It happened and arguing with myself over the weather is okay after 12 beers). I did get drunk but no wall talking took place.

This party was really nice in how it was handled by Sara. Not only was she an incredible hostess but also at preparing. A small apartment handling 20 people just didn't seem possible to me. Well, it worked as you see how a lot of people enjoyed laying on the floor to play the game Apples To Apples. People did get a little taste of Sara's risque' side when she grabbed me to pull me into the bathroom to kiss. Eyes were wide when we both walked out together.

Did they or didn't they? I'm sure that with such a high geek ratio there were several virgins attending the party.

A rather large guy took time out to smoke on the porch. I joined him because he was fun to talk to inside so why not? What I got was a perfect version of karaoke to Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back." Amazing! I'm pretty sure he'd normally be shy to do this in front of a large crowd but it was done so well that I wondered why. The facial expressions and the hand movement made it me laugh very hard, something I don't always do. I laugh but when a large guy takes it, and I mean REALLY takes it, it's golden. Now, if I could talk to him again, I'd like to see Salt N Pepa's "Push It." Can a fat guy shake his ass like a dump truck?

So, I'm going to leaveth y'all here. Work has worn me the fuck out. I may not work retail but we do get hit by the Holidays pretty hard. While my muscles and paycheck are large, I'm dreaming of a nice peaceful slumber not interrupted by the fact that Target is has a better looking cover art to the new Harry Potter DVD. Must get there early or housewives will haul their large asses off the couch all in search for gifts for the kids. Damn them. For me, evil characters are make better looking artwork because good just sucks. Tomorrow, we'll talk dirty stuff since I need to bring back X-Rated to this blog. Happy twats all around.