Apparently I Know Nothing

"I've always made it known to myself that having things go great should only make you more alert to the shadows making their way in the door while you celebrate."

-Me

This will be my last entry of the year 2007. I am happy. There. It's as simple as that when it comes to how I feel this year. All those times spent staring up at the ceiling as I did my reverse sit-ups, curled up downstairs with Sara in front of the plasma TV, witnessed how wonderful my girlfriend is at being a hostess for her party, caught myself enjoying a famous diner's atmosphere in Indiana, detailed my plans prior to taking off, argued as to which lane I should take, grew frightened at the possibility of my mother having cancer, and why I constantly have to tell myself that I do what I do but do it well.

This is a blog so my thoughts come in here on a nightly basis. It helps me sleep. It helps me relax more. It helps me find people that amuse me with their writings or observations. Sometimes, I think it's also trying to kill me by becoming an addiction. Not really, seeing as I've no real interest while I am away in Indiana. I forget and have no interest while there.

It has come to my attention that I have a lot of readers. No longer is it a few here and there everyday but a frickin' lot that just seem to have appeared out of nowhere. Scary? Yes, but I don't care if you're here for the attacks in my comments section left by a bat-shit girl or that damn link that leads you here from Masturbation-Links. Reading things while being a party completely unrelated to the situation can be fun. I understand that.

All day, I have spent time thinking about why someone would attack me like that. It's hurtful at first but then I find myself laughing. Why should I answer to the fact that I do love Sara. How many relationships have you been in? Have all of them been bad or so-so? Have you ever loved anyone else? I've been in several and can say that I've had a great close to 3 years with Sara. Maybe I'm the type to shout it out to the rooftops. It's true that nothing is perfect but I tend to see the good things. I'm happier and enjoy spoiling her every now and then. Sara told me that one of the best things about me is that she feels completely at ease at being a complete dork around me.

No matter what I put down here, it'll be put down or a whole spew of negative comments will come out. I'm tired of it. That is all.

I'm not this 'perfect boyfriend' but someone that clearly is going through some major changes. It's been so crazy having someone that can handle me. Why can't I see someone else enjoy what I am slightly jaded about? Do you know how good it felt when I took her out on an amazing date here in my town after having her meet my mother? Dressed nicely, isn't it a great feeling when someone treats you well instead of ignoring you? Sometimes, traditions are nice to hear about.

What the fuck do I know? Why should I even be defending myself anyway? It's a lost cause when someone just wants to attack out of nowhere. No one has kissed my ass but even they find it beyond weird.

So, today was spent on my back staring up at the ceiling during sit-ups, taking my body to the limits in the gym by beating my old record of 270 military press to a brand new 285, enjoying The Borne Ultimatum's ludicrous but fun chase, watching as 5-Pound Phooey found herself confused as to what geese are, and planning for tomorrow. How about you? Did you wind up doing all that you set out to do on a Sunday? Happy twats all around.