Same Panties. New Year

"Who knew that CBS, the old people's channel, would devote a whole hour to tits and shaved beavers each year? Andy Griffith wouldn't even need Viagra thanks to one look at Heidi. He'd quote Dumb And Dumber's 'Check out the fun-bags on that hose-hound!'"

-Me

Dear me, it is snowing. While I do remember the horrors from having over 10-inches last February, these 1 to 2 inches are nice to look at from a warm room. My dogs, as surprised as they were, looked quite confused as their little paws touched down. Anything that gets a rise out of them is good. Rearranging furniture only confuses them.

I'm a Fall type o' guy so Winter tends to make me dread each day. This type of weather has me feeling so icky and slightly depressed. My upper back aches and I count the hours that go by at work. All I want to do is go home. Holidays, be damned! What is so great about spending oodles and oodles of cash just to get people to love you when you feel too run-down from coming home from work?

You can tell how I feel by what kind of workout I had. Nothing seemed to be going right. Sure, I lifted all the weight I normally do but the spirit just wasn't there. The soreness from work on Sunday just reminds me that I need to rest a bit more. But how? I'm the type that needs to be all over the place even if my mind is in bed curled up with nightmares of 2 Girls 1 Cup. I'll let you in on something. I've yet to dream of ice cream thanks to that video.

Oh, and what's up with Bush's obsession with Iran? We get word that there are no nukes but he's going on and on about how evil they are. Yes, they are but aren't they kind of the type of country that just likes to say, 'Nyah-nyah-nyah?' The president of Iran doesn't even call the shots and who cares if he thinks the Holocaust never happened? Our president can't even speak correctly.

As for this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion show........hate the undies because it's always the same thing you see on every girl that bends downward. Give me a girl in Calvins or Ralph Lauren rather than the same old waistband bearing Victoria's Secret logo. Some of their panties are cute and flirty but that's not saying much. Team Pink, what we'd center around those lovely pink parts, has gotten a little boring and too expensive. $45 for a bra!?!

But the show itself was sexy in some ways. To me, I like models that walk the runway all while looking like they are having fun. You're rich! You've got a great ass! You have a super waxed beaver! You never have to worry about 'skid marks' because you get panties for free! Smile, that dirty thong is going in the trash or donated to a questionable homeless person.

If you are under the age of 25, you may recognize the names of my favorite Victoria's Secret models, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Marissa Miller, and Miranda Kerr. Wow! I'm a total assman that got annoyed at how the camera hardly ever covered my favorite bodypart while tits were popping. Adriana has that face. Alessandra's hair is unbelievable. Marissa is hot with a six-pack of abs from surfing. Miranda is an Aussie so I tend to fall for that face and way of speaking. Never into Heidi or Tyra.

I already told you how much I dreaded work so who wants to hear about how I hurt my foot while waiting to run out of there before heading off to the gym. Instead, it's best to say that I am susceptible to small bribes, cheap ones being in the form of a free t-shirt. Super Bad came out on DVD and Best Buy gave out free ones that look vintage. Excellent. My worries that I won't be able to fit the t-shirt disappeared when I took a look at some major man-cleavage being concealed by thin fabric. Nothing like free advertising that consists of 3 very geeky guys on the chest to show how manly I am as the cold air brings about my nipples. If only people would stop tweaking them and, yes, this happens at work.

So, I'm outta here as I hope to find myself in the adventures of McLovin and 2 boys trying to get head once high school ends. According to them, it takes alcohol in order to get girls to find ugly guys attractive. How come we seem to be okay with calling ugly girls not fuck-able but we find ugly guys okay? We've yet to see a group of women that need paper bags on their heads as they pursue the world for swollen pricks. All's right because we've got McLovin. Happy twats all around.