Look, No Corn!

"If you wanna taste the bright lights, you won't get there for free."

-'Welcome To the Jungle' by Guns N' Roses

If anything in this entry sounds completely out of it, blame it on today's work. I almost received a concussion from things weighing close to 30-pounds falling on my head, not one, not two but more than that in repeated poundings to my head. Somehow, I think it's my need to tell all that working there is incredible (it is) only to curse myself with something making it not. I'm having so much fun I'll be dead in a couple weeks.

I am lucky that things can change when I put thought into them. I've had the hardest time sleeping for years. Too many times times were spent waking up in the middle of the night for no reason but to find a new way to get comfortable. I'm not a pillow fluffer so it lay along the lines of a new sleep position or curling up under more layers. It wasn't til I noticed how nice I slept in Sara's bed, one that consisted of expensive sheets and a sweet, sweet comforter all bought by her mom that I got the idea that I'm missing something here. All is not well there, though, because I have cat allergies to deal with when sleeping over at Sara's.

I slept last night! Whoo! Not only did I sleep but stayed that way til a more healthy time after waking up constantly at different times in the past. The new allergen pillows are so soft that I swear there were points that I almost fell asleep instantly. My body found this so foreign that it didn't allow this so early. I woke up so rested and no morning wood to deal with that you could swear that there were big smiles. Even my dog loves how she can sink into the comforter and make a little nest to curl up in. Dog and boy love comfort and will spend Saturday afternoons in nap-times together.

Now, I have a challenge for you, dear reader. If you are one of those that tends to visit various websites of 'questionable nature' or things considered very odd, you might have heard of the cult following to one of the most disgusting videos ever placed on the 'Net. For a little over a month, I have been reading about various people telling others that the video, 2 Girls 1 Cup, is the most disgusting thing ever. Ever. People have been filmed throwing up after watching it for just a few seconds, even famous people. Porn star, Ron Jeremy couldn't handle it while others have been shown with their jaws dropped to the point that you'd swear they were on the ground.

In my humble opinion, I always found the movie where a woman takes out her bloodied tampon to place in a bowl of water for her and the gay guy to drink. Yes, it was real. Yes, it was foreign but this was done by a female director. Oh, she's controversial by making the audience disgusted enough to talk about what they have been shown. A garden rake slowly inserted in a woman? You'd forget about that after seeing the tampon's contents being drunk.

2 Girls 1 Cup goes way beyond what I could ever think of as disgusting. I may not have thrown up after seeing it but I can tell you that it's super bad. Only those that have kids or large dogs may be able to handle it, a woman takes a massive dump into a cup and eats it along with the woman holding the cup. I was warned. Did I listen? Stick around because the girls then take turns throwing up into each other's mouths.

How far can we go? The Germans are notorious for shit eating porn. I've heard legends about what they've placed in mags. A guy was recently sentenced for having sex with a bicycle while it was parked. There is website that shows all the different things found up people's asses in the emergency rooms across the U.S.. There are people that think us gross for enjoying anal sex. Why not? The ass is used to get rid of, not enjoy sticking things up. Or is it? Who's to say to us what is enjoyable? My girlfriend, Sara, found it fascinating when her best friend showed her videos of guys inserting large things up their asses. If a girl wants to eat shit and people get off on this as a fetish in watching, let her. Oh, look corn and nuts are saved for last! You have been warned.

I'm totally going to get Bald-O back for all the crap he's gotten me involved in by having him watch 2 Girls 1 Cup. He obviously has an anal fixation thanks to wanting to put his finger up a girl's butt, something he has not accomplished in the 2 years he made this known while drunk. It will end here and he might thank me after cleaning himself up afterwards.

So, I am going to leave you here, a moment where you, if you've not seen it, wonder whether you'll take the plunge in seeing 2 Girls 1 Cup. Will you wait til everyone is gone and you have nothing better to do? Better yet, grab your boyfriend and force him to watch. This may end up with you not getting any sex for a week or two. Trust me. Images stick in your head for a long time. This one will be in you for years. Happy twats all around.