I Showed My Boobies Today

"But his political strength-and he knows it-comes from America's unrelenting passion for never bothering to take that extra step to figure shit out."

-'Rolling Stone' on Rudy Giuliani, a Republican presidential candidate

You know what? I feel for you girls and your tits. Don't you just hate how people stare at them rather than listen to what you have to say? Those moments on the treadmill where your tits go all over the place while men just drool become not so funny anymore? When you open the fridge, do you hear guys 'silently' praying that they (nipples, dummy) will make themselves well-known and friendly?

I went topless today. Actually, out of the 3 runs with 5-Pound Phooey, 2 of them were where I took my shirt off. How could I not? The sweat was heavy and I am getting tired of having to change t-shirts more than twice a day. What better way to save a shirt than by placing half of it down the back of my cargo shorts? I, literally, have to peel things off me once I set foot in the house after a run.

Toplessness is fun. I've got to hand it to female joggers on their use of sports bras and little running shorts because the smallest amount of skin gets a lot of attention. Some of it may be unwanted but have you ever seen a little kid stare at your chest? I got that today because we all know that little girls are such perverts.

Tis true for I, Ultrarooster, walked my little dog, 5-Pound Phooey, while various people looked at me, some did several glances. My favorite was the sexy Asian girl driving by that went from a glance to a stare. 5-Pound Phooey just sat there underneath a tree for shade with a, "I've seen his tits before. No big deal. I've got a lot of nipples, yo." The woman working outside in the front yard kept looking at me as I walked away. Then again, it could be the dog because 5-Pound Phooey looks adorable with her milkshake bringing all the boys/girls to the yard.

Well, I guess Sara's need to make me stand at the edge of her bed completely naked so she can look at my body means something. Mind you, that was on Sunday afternoon over the Memorial Day Weekend. Lovely time for a girl to take in the sights of a naked male prior to getting caught by the dad while giving him a nice blowjob.

Ah, a quiet weekend. Nice but I'm now itching for it to be crazy again. It's summer and should be filled with all sorts of things being done during the days where its nice. Could it be Sara's new sheets that have me longing to get out of all my clothes and jump in naked? I'll most likely be in Indiana next weekend since I'm giving her my old DVD player after they broke theirs. Plus, I miss walks over the bridge during the cool nights, playing with Sara's pussy, and the inevitable event where I cannot find all my clothes prior to leaving. I swear I come there with 10 t-shirts but leave with only 7 since she wears them as well.

Today was spent with a little shopping. 'URB,' a magazine for dance music has an interview with the gorgeous M.I.A. Kelley Armstrong's new book came out, 'No Humans....' and I tend to enjoy relaxing in Barnes at least 3 times a week. I haunt, flaunt my manly pecs, and talk to people on my routes. Would you believe I was once a shy kid that avoided show and tell with a passion?

And then there was the little book that has me wondering if I should start a DVD porn collection. "The Big Book Of Porn" has a listing of what the author considers the best from the 70's and 80's, my most curious time period because they had these things:

1). Pubes, a lot but at least some pubes. I've grown tired of completely bare. This could work against me because I hate to see a lot of hair around a girl's asshole.

2). A plot. Dumb, most likely, but a plot to follow and laugh at.

3). It felt more naughty due to the time period. Various people were thrown in jail, etc. over the government's need to censor.

4). There was no feeling that people needed to fill ever hole a woman has with strange objects at all times. No forks up the ass or a baseball bat. Just a dick or 2 will do but we all know they don't last in there. Every woman enjoys a facial.

5). Some were musicals. Call me crazy but I can see the actual point for a woman to break out in song as she opens her legs while wearing a dress with no panties. It's that scent in the air as the birds begin to tweet a whole lot louder and men everywhere wonder if a fish market is nearby.

Well, why not? I've pretty much catered my every whim when it comes to the film industry. I've got a lot of DVDs but never really allowed myself to see what this porn thing is all about. My total viewing is probably up to about 10 and, yes, people think I'm lying. I'm not. It just wasn't my thing but Sara's been trying to help me bring back my inner *growls* grot-loving. Of course, I absolutely love pussy but years in private Catholic school and all my sexual fantasies being fulfilled kind of took my mind away. So, a DVD library where there are loads of TV boxsets, movies, and music videos could have a shelf devoted to critically acclaimed porn. Sara's into Jenna Jameson while I'm into goofy good times that involve a somewhat hairy cunt being satisfied where the just fucked secretary smiles to the sight of her boss smelling her panties left behind. Did you know they did a Girls Scouts one? How could they!?!

Note: I've read the Meese Commision's humongous research on porn. It is hilarious to read 40 to 70-year-old-men describe sexual acts where various things are inserted in women and urination used for sex-play.

So, I'm outta here after a looooooooong day of being outside to the point that I passed out with 5-Pound Phooey at my side. We're a good dynamic duo as we like to flaunt 'em while we've got 'em. Happy twats all around.