Monday, June 4, 2007

Music Makes Me Stupid

"Here comes Johnny, singing oldies, goldies."

-'Walk Of Life' by Dire Straits

I hate to say it but that song has been playing in my head since Sunday. Now, I may not watch much TV except for the occasional The Sopranos, The Tudors, Veronica Mars (Now cancelled-sad), Entourage, and various things Sara enjoys picking on me about. Ex: "Oh, but you enjoy allllllllll the characters on your favorite shows!" It's at this point that I wanted to toss my enchilada in her lap but that's beside the point. VH1 Classic devotes over 2 hours to classic music videos from the 80's. Dear me, if there is one place I can lose myself, it is this. Dire Straits cursing me by making me sing this song in my head and laying out my best beat box to Tone Loc's 'Wild Thing' and you understand why I enjoy (or need) to be alone.

Note: Sara has now resorted to dancing around in the living room topless during Veronica Mars's theme song just to further her point at how ridiculous it is to have a boyfriend that insists on singing every line to the Sopranos's theme song.

C'mon, you know it by now..........'Woke up this morning, got yourself a gun...'

It's not easy sleeping with me.

I've learned something new this week. My little 5-Pound Phooey is a killer, namely of the small animal type variety that we rarely see. Remember how I told you way back that I was pretty sure she was seeking out moles in this one section of where we walk? Well, 5-Pound Phooey got one and killed it. Took me a short while to realize what was in my little dog's mouth. You know, the one with the big dark eyes that stares at me til she gets her way? Well, 5-Pound Phooey is now an assassin. Maybe not completely graceful but an assassin nonetheless.

It's kind of weird. All those times where 5-Pound Phooey chased after various animals, namely those cutsie lil' bunny rabbits (lots of little baby bunnies last week) and squirrels that have her wondering how the fuck those bushy-tailed bastards get up those trees, were all about ending their lives. She really should not be doing that because, considering her size, 5-Pound Phooey is an appetizer for those in the larger dog variety. It's no wonder little old ladies point and stare when we run by. It's either little doggies or the muscles that get the attention of Ben-Gay's biggest clients.

Gotta give a shout-out to From Dusk Til Dawn, a movie from the 90's that had me wondering just what the fuck I got myself into. You might remember it by the wondorous quote: We've got all kinds of pussy. We've got smelly pussy, black pussy, white pussy....." To me, it was how fucked up it got when the first half of following the criminals getting away from the law turned into a stand-off against vampires. My girlfriend, Sara, may hate George Clooney but I find him to be one of the best actors, whether it be bad guys or as a thief out to get a casino owner's money. It was From Dusk Til Dawn that solidified it for me. Or it could be Quentin Tarantino's obvious foot fetishness that came out when a gorgeous Salma Hayek poured it down her thigh and into his throat with her foot in there.

Did you know the porn industry is going through an economic depression? Too many movies coming out are causing a major saturation. I've wondered why they even price them so high. What porn obsessed retard has $50 for each flick? It costs barely over $3 to make a DVD so what justifies the high prices?

So, I'll tell you this to end another glorious full-of-shit entry. Thunderstorms are great to find yourself in the downstairs area with a good book while the rain pounds on the windows. It gets even more romantic when a small dog clings to you thanks to its fear of thunder. That's pretty much what I did this afternoon, seeing as getting through 5 chapters of Kelley Armstrong's 'Now Humans Involved' was so easy. Root beer, a good book, and a cowardly small dog gets me through my day. Too bad Richard fell asleep watching my Pirates Of the Caribbean: At World's End after planting too many flowers at work. At nearly 3 hours, fat guys either need a nap or a bathroom break. Happy twats all around.


2 comments:

Zuzu said...

I totally miss (and love) thunderstorms. As for the mole chasing business... ew! I walk with a fellow a few times a week whose dog is a big ratter and mole chaser.... every once and awhile I'll turn around and a rat tail will be hanging out of the dog's mouth (NOT my dog's mouth.. his dog's mouth.) The rat is still alive... ew.. and she's been known to down moles whole. Yuck..

Dr. K said...

I loved From Dusk Till Dawn. It reeminded me of another one of my fave vampire movies (besides The Lost Boys), that I used to catch on Encore way back when Encore was free: Vamp. Such a great movie, and it starred one of the scariest women alive, Grace Jones. I also liked the Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood. And The Gate (although that didn't have vampires, so now I'm off topic).